When you're a new, exhausted, stressed out parent, the gift of a sleeping baby is a beautiful one. That time can be spent catching up on all kinds of things, whether it's showering, cleaning the disaster that is your kitchen, or just taking some time for yourself and watching your favorite show. That is, until your "me time" is interrupted by an ominous doorbell and the clueless individual who has now inadvertently awakened your kid. You'll be pissed and you'll be annoyed and you'll begin to devise punishments reserved for people who wake a sleeping baby.
The house our family lived in, until recently, was what's known as a "war home," built during World War II, and had basically all the original flooring and beautiful antique touches from, including a telephone box, gorgeous lead-paned windows and the noisiest damn floors that have ever existed. It also had zero insulation in the walls, apparently, because I could hear a conversation that was happening two rooms away. Did I mention it was a bungalow with an unfinished basement? It was a nightmare trying to make sure the baby stayed asleep. I have perfected what can only be called the "death stare" over the years, and it's reserved solely for when a child of mine is sleeping and someone dares to be loud enough to wake them.
Creaky floors and thin walls aside, there are plenty of other ways to wake a sleeping baby. Anyone who calls to ask me whether my ducts need cleaning will get an earful, as will the person who knocks on my door to tell me they can paint my chipped garage door for a good price. If you're delivering a package or mowing your lawn or doing something that inhibits my child from sleeping (and me from resting) your automatically on my sh*t list and, my friend, that's no place to be. I have a particular set of punishments for those who wake a sleeping baby, and a particular set of skills to enact said punishments. You've been warned.