In my family, if I'm looking at my phone and start whimpering, someone will inevitably ask, "Did you see a picture of a cute puppy again?" The thing is, it's simultaneously a joke and also a pretty good guess, because dogs are amazing and thinking about snuggling them makes me emotional. The same can be said of babies. The combination of the two? I run the risk of actually dying of happiness. For this and other reasons, there are rules for having your dog around my kid.
Despite my overwhelming, manic love of our four legged friends (OMG, and also the three and two legged ones who lost limbs because of disease or abuse: they need even more love! Guys, I'm crying again!), I do not own a dog. There are a few reasons why and none of them make me happy. For starters, my apartment is small and there's already 4 people living here. Honestly, it feels roomier ever since our dearly beloved kitty died, and a cat is way smaller and lower maintenance than a dog. Secondly, my two children are basically puppies that can talk and wear clothes. They're energetic, destructive, messy, playful, and require most of my time, energy, and financial resources. Adding a third, similar creature could be disastrous. Finally, because my jerk of a partner (only slightly kidding) has vetoed the whole affair (and since this is a marriage of equals and we both have veto powers even when one person is being really, really mean and not thinking about how ridiculously cute it would be to have a dog) I'm doing that whole compromising thing which means, sadly, no furry friend for me.
Because I long for a dog, I get really excited when I have the opportunity to be around one, and that includes having people bring them over to my place. My kids get excited, too, and will spend as much time as possible around their new fur-friend. Here's the thing with kids, though: they need to be taught (and reminded, again and again and again) of absolutely everything, especially when it comes to rules of behavior and social engagements. While it's totally worth it to have a friend's dog and my kids in the same place, I will be spending a lot of energy managing my little ones to make sure they don't go all Lenny from Of Mice and Men on your puppy.
So, I'm going to need you to make sure your dog doesn't go Cujo. I'll keep up my end of things, but here's what I need you to do: