One of the first questions I asked my doctor after I had my son, was when I would be able to have sex again. Honestly, while I was excited to be a mom, I was also excited to "get my body back" and use that body to have non-pregnant sex with my partner. Well, I was for a little while, anyway. Turns out, postpartum hormones are unforgiving and exhaustion is a big turn off and my desire to have sex dwindled to almost nothing. Thankfully, there are things any partner can do to make postpartum sex more appealing, and when my partner tried some of these aforementioned things on his own, I was able to remember that while I was a mother and I was exhausted and I was overwhelmed, I was also a sexual being with needs and those needs deserved to be met.
It can be difficult to feel completely comfortable and confident and sexy directly after (or even a few weeks, months and even years after) you have a baby. I know that while I was in awe of my body and everything it had accomplished, I was also somewhat unfamiliar with it, now that it had been changed by pregnancy, labor and delivery. I wasn't as in tune with my body as I usually was, and I definitely wasn't as confident in it (especially when there weren't any clothes on it) than I had been pre-baby. All of those changes, plus hormone fluctuations and a dropping libido and new-mom exhaustion, made postpartum sex seem, well, less than ideal. I wanted to have sex, because my partner is wonderful and sex is fun, but I just couldn't bring myself to put in the effort. I just seems like too much.
There are things any partner can do, though, that can make a postpartum mom consider sex on a more frequent and regular basis. Of course, this isn't about pressuring women to do something they're not ready, willing or able to do. No one should be forcing anyone to do anything. However, there are ways to alleviate other stresses or talk about postpartum sex in a specific way that makes it less stressful, less taxing and, in turn, way more appealing. Here are just a few: