Throughout my pregnancy, labor, delivery, postpartum and breastfeeding experiences, I was amazed at everything my body could and was doing. Like, how in the freakin' hell was it growing and sustaining and birthing and feeding another human being? It was incredible. It was also, to be fair, a little weird, and there were so many creepy things my boobs did when I was breastfeeding that had me running towards the nearest Google search and wondering if my breasts were "normal."
I don't think anything makes you acutely aware of just how closely "awesome" and "creepy," coincide, like breastfeeding can and usually does. I mean, it's perfectly normal for a relative stranger to grab your boobs, massage, squeeze and place them in another human being's mouth. Like, that's a Tuesday afternoon. It's perfectly normal (not to mention, amazing) to hook yourself up to a machine and pump life-giving liquids out of your breasts, put those liquids in a bottle, and feed said liquids to someone else. Breastfeeding is amazing and wondrous, but it's also kind of weird and strange and the things your breasts do in order to sustain another human life can be, you know, creepy. Of course, I hesitate to use that word "creepy," as breastfeeding mothers are already busy combating the sexualization of breastfeeding and fighting for the right to breastfeed in public (without a cover) without being shamed and judged by total strangers. Obviously, the act of breastfeeding itself is anything but creepy, and that's worth repeating over and over and over again until mothers can feed their children without someone screaming at them.
Still, what your breasts do when you're attached to them and using them to feed another human being can be kind of creepy. It can be somewhat unnerving and a little odd and, well, it can definitely take some time getting used to. So, in the name of solidarity and honesty and the ability to laugh at something sort weird but insanely cool, here are some creepy things your boobs do when you're breastfeeding: