11 Things Men Need To Stop Saying To Women With Multiple Children
bySteph Montgomery
When you have more than one child, people seem to think they have a right to comment about or question your reproductive choices. Especially when you bring your children in public and, well, especially when "people" are men. Sadly, there are so many things men need to stop saying to women with multiple children that, for one reason or another, are repeated with a reckless abandon that's nothing short of infuriating.
I remember vividly the first comment I heard about our family size. I was at Target with all four of our kids— my two and my husband's two — when some random guy decided to be "super helpful." "The condom aisle is that way," he said, followed by the rhetorical question, "You do know how those things are made, right?" I was so embarrassed. I wanted to tell him to mind his own business. I also felt the overwhelming need to explain my blended family and to tell him my kids were all wanted, loved and cared for. I wanted to let him know that I was a trained sex educator and of course I knew how babies were made. I also wanted to make sure none of my kids heard him or were hurt by his unbelievably rude comments. Of course, every possible reply escaped me in that red-faced, tears-welling-up moment, and I simply walked to the check out lane.
The bottom line, no one gets to question anyone else's reproductive choices. Whether I have zero kids, two, or ten children; whether they were intended or unintended pregnancies; whether I am single, married, or dating 100 people simultaneously, it's none of your business and it's certainly not a joke. So, if you see a large family in Target (or anywhere else, for that matter), the only thing that's cool to say is, "Can I help you?" I mean, have you ever been to Target with kids? Of course, it will also benefit you and all people involved if you kept the following things out of your mouth, too.