As many of my fellow breastfeeding ladies (and some gents) can attest: the lactating life isn't an easy one. Physiological difficulties, pumping issues, supply problems, and health complications can make this already kind-of-weird task even more daunting. Thankfully, we do have some help. In addition to breastfeeding support groups, doctors, lactation consultants, and the Internet (don't laugh: it's really helpful sometimes), another person who can be of tremendous help is your partner. Those fine gentlemen who want to help their sweetheart through this life experience know, intrinsically, that there are things no grown-ass man does to his breastfeeding partner.
If I were to sum up all 11 points in one simple, over-arching rule that basically covered all bases, it would be Wheaton's Law, which simply states: "Don't Be A Dick." Look, there's a lot to learn when it comes to parenthood and how you chose to experience it. We need to get a handle on these new little humans we've ushered forth, re-learn how to work together as a couple, get used to new bodies, new rules, new feelings, new everything. This isn't always easy, not even for the most grown-ass of men, many of who (if cisgender) lack the ability to physically experience so many of the aforementioned changes.
But the cream, as they say, rises to the top, and these paradigms of manly, egalitarian righteousness step it the you-know-what up and are never, ever pains in a breastfeeding woman's ass. No, they realize that while breastfeeding may not be something they can experience themselves, it is a difficult task and they should ease their partner's discomfort, instead of add to it. That's why, if your partner is a grown-ass man, you'll never hear or see him doing the following while you're breastfeeding: