Can you recall what your first days as a new mom felt like? For me, the answer is "just barely." Regardless of how things look, or what they’re saying, a new parent’s world has just been turned upside down. Which is why even casual comments from well-meaning friends, family members, and strangers don’t always land the way they were intended to. But have no fear, friends, what good would the internet be if it didn't provide you a curated list of what not to say to a new mom?
I mean, for me it was a super-sensitive time. I have no idea where my hormones stopped and my actual feelings started. Those first leaky diapers, the first projectile spit-ups, and the first sleepless nights are all blurred together like a slideshow of struggle, punctuated by the occasional snuggle or gentle baby sigh to remind me that it was all worth it. It sounds trite to describe it as "difficult" or "challenging" or "amazing" because in reality, having a newborn is all of those things and more. It felt like a never-ending game of hot lava, leaping from one safe place to the next. I’d tensely hold my breath until I knew whether or not my son would latch on, fall asleep, or spill out of the diaper I’d just secured. Then, once I got a sign from him that we were through the challenge of that particular moment, I could relax and let my shoulders sink in relief. Safe.
Until the next thing he needed.
This crazy game of ups and downs that new parents play is perhaps why the rest of us might want to be mindful of what we say (and how we say it). Without further ado, let’s consider a few common offenders: