Of the seemingly infinite changes that befall a new mom's body after childbirth, what happens to your breasts after having a baby is simultaneously sometimes the most fun, sometimes the most painful, and almost always the strangest. And unless they've had a baby too, it's doubtful that your partner will be able to sympathize or relate. So naturally, we end up texting our BFFs about it all, because that's what they're there for, to listen to us talk in painful detail about our bodies and all the weird shit they're doing (among so many other things, but obviously this too).
Personally, I have always been on the larger end of the boob spectrum (sometimes being in a bit of denial as to how large, in fact), so when my milk came in, it was kind of shocking. I had told my husband that breastfeeding would likely dramatically alter my once-perky breasts (I was trying hard to prepare myself to love my body no matter how pregnancy/birth/breastfeeding changed it, but the trepidation was real, guys), so he needed to be prepared for the "inevitable flattening and sinking into oblivion" that I had been warned about from other moms. It was probably a month after our baby was born when he looked at me and said, "They're still looking good to me!" And I laughed.
So naturally, I told my best friend and we laughed together at his sweet naïvety: How insane was he to think that anything about my boobs was the same? Because yeah, they were still awesome (maybe/definitely even more awesome, actually) but there was so much going on with my breasts, and I felt like only my best friend really got what I was talking about. And that wasn't the last post-baby boob text I sent her. Here are 13 other texts you may find yourself sending your BFF about your mammary journey during new motherhood: