Do you remember what it was like having sex before kids? The freedom of being able to do it when and where you want is not lost on parents. In fact, it's something we either dream of or wax nostalgic about. I mean, those were truly magical times. Back then, you probably weren’t preoccupied with thoughts of kids walking in or the many other thoughts moms have before having sex with their partner. Hell, you could spend a whole day, or two (or more), simply not getting out of bed. Alright, before I get too nostalgic, I don’t want folks to think that having kids means the end of sex as you know it. You can still have sex after kids, but the way you go about it changes. Like, a lot. Arguably one of the most massive changes? How you think about sex.
Once upon a time, your thoughts before having sex probably included things like “Man, she’s hot,” or, “I’m so glad I remembered to buy condoms.” Or maybe your mind was simply blank, giving way to all your lustful desires with a reckless abandon that, well, I now covet. Can you parents even remember what it was like not to constantly be thinking about your kids or the piles of laundry that still need to be washed, transferred, folded, and subsequently put away? Perhaps you thought about what music to play in the background or whether to keep the lights on or off (you know, back when you could actually turn a light on in the hall and close the door (a little) without having a toddler running over to see what’s going on). I can think back on those moments and remember what it was like to experience them with my partner, but they seem so distant. Like, maybe it was a dream? Maybe it didn't happen? Wait, how was my child conceived again?
I might not think about the lingerie or background music or whether or not I have a sufficient amount of condoms (thank you, birth control), but the things I do think about before sex, as a mother, are, at the very least, freakin' hilarious. Either way, I'm entertained, and sometimes a laugh + some sexy time = all the self-care a mother needs.