Life

A tray of cupcakes with white frosting and sprinkles made my a pregnant woman who is nesting
Courtesy of Hannah Westmoreland Murphy
18 Weird Things Every Pregnant Woman Does When She's Nesting

I was miserable for the duration of my first pregnancy, especially towards the end of my third trimester. I felt so huge and so sweaty and so uncomfortable and so wobbly and so, just, blah. However, something strange happened to me two weeks before I delivered my son. I started feeling this insatiable urge to clean and organize everything in my sight. I turned into a mad woman, and did all sorts weird things a pregnant woman does when she's nesting. It was odd and slightly unnerving, but it was also ridiculously satisfying and my nesting phase, thankfully, resurrected me from my pregnancy funk.

Personally, I hated pregnancy. I should probably feel more guilty about it than I do, but pregnancy was hard on me. Very, very hard. It wasn't until I hit my nesting phase that I finally felt like I was on fire; but the good kind of fire, not the kind that makes your sciatic nerve scream. Suddenly, I had enough energy to waddle wherever my heart desired. I finally felt motivated and determined and like I needed to scrub every corner of every room in the house.

It was awesome but, if I'm being honest, it was also a little weird. I had always heard about third trimester "nesting thing," but I was never made aware of the intensity with which this sudden urge to get my proverbial ducks in a row, would hit me. It was like I suddenly understood people like Martha Stewart and Gwenyth Paltrow, with their crisply pressed button downs and their perfectly arranged throw pillows and their flower-shaped cookies. Suddenly, I felt like I could be that person who ironed and baked every day. I could be that person who cooks only from her organic garden. I was inspired, to say the least, and things got a little, well, weird.

So, for all the nesting mothers out there, I feel you. The following things might be a little weird, but they're also super freaking productive and, most importantly, a sign that your little one is (probably) on their way.

She Rearranges Rooms For No Apparent Reason

Pregnant women aren't supposed to lift or move things heavier than 20 pounds, especially during the third trimester, but the determination that accompanies nesting makes us feel like we have super human strength. Rearranging rooms has a way of making a home feel fresh and new again; in other words, perfect for a new baby. If you want to switch it up a little, that's totally fine, just try to keep in mind that there's a tiny person in your uterus, and maybe recruit some help from someone who isn't pregnant to move the heavier items from one side of the room, to the other.

She Scrubs The Bathroom Floor (For The First Time, Probably, Ever)

I hate mopping. I especially hate mopping small spaces with lots of obstacles in my way, and I really, really hate thinking about the germs lurking on the bathroom floor. Thankfully, my nesting phase made me immune to those disgusting thoughts. Well, immune long enough to whip out my heavy duty cleaning gloves and scrub every square inch of our bathroom with a toothbrush. It felt glorious for five whole minutes, until it got dirty again.

She Purchases New Bedding (Or At Least Thinks About It)

It's not just the nursery that is considered during the nesting phase. It's every room. I felt like I wanted every single room to be in order, and I wanted it to look exactly how I pictured it in my head before my baby arrived. I perused the aisles of Target and TJ Maxx multiples times a week in search of the perfect bedding, but never found it. Not that I could have forked over the cash to pay for it anyway, but looking still made me feel better.

She Cleans Out Every Closet

For me, clutter creates undue anxiety. Knowing that I wouldn't be getting much sleep, and that I wouldn't feel like cleaning or organizing anything after I had my son, I decided to use the energy of nesting to my advantage by cleaning out all of our closets. Then, I stood inside them and beamed with pride as I soaked in all the joy of being able to see the closet floors.

She Organizes Literally Everything

My desk is best described as "organized chaos." To some, it appears to be messy and unkept, but to me, it makes perfect sense. I know the exact contents of each pile of paper, and which messy drawer contains which particular pen or supply I need at the time.

However, my organized chaos wouldn't suffice when I was nesting. I had to organize ever corner of it. After I finished, I organized our kitchen cabinets (that were already in order), linen closet, basement, and coat rack. I basically made our entire house a card catalog.

She Pins A Bunch Of Recipes She'll Definitely Never Make

Not to mention purchases a crock pot for said recipes, but probably never actually gets around to preparing them before the baby comes. Oh well, everyone needs a good crock pot, right?

She Considers Planting Flowers For Reasons Unknown

I've never had a green thumb, but damn, I wanted a garden right before I had my baby.

She Makes Use Of Candles. Lots, And Lots, Of Candles.

One room of our house smelled like fresh linen. Another smelled like a beach, and others smelled like pumpkin spice. There was a mood altering, scented theme in every single room of our house, and it was awesome.

She Folds Tiny Baby Clothes That Have No Business Being Folded

Just don't bother. Trust me. It's satisfying for a few minutes, but it's completely pointless.

She Shops For Curtain Panels And Area Rugs

Because redesigning an entire house days before having a baby makes perfect sense, right?

She Changes Her Baby's Nursery's Theme 18 Times, Only To Circle Back To The Original Theme

I started off saying that I didn't want a nursery theme, but changed my mind at least 18 times once I started nesting. Suddenly, something that I thought I didn't care about started to consume me, and I didn't stop until I had every picture, diaper, and pillow perfectly placed.

She Puts Baby Swag On Display

I don't know why I love baby products so much, but putting them on display in my son's nursery made me feel like I had my life together. Even though I had no clue what I was getting myself into, having the baby swag organized at least made it appear as though I was capable of conquering the beast of parenthood. I mean, I probably didn't have to have my son's wash cloths rolled up and built into a tiny pyramid, but I did anyway.

She Makes Everything Smell Like Coconuts

Because, duh.

She Sterilizes Every Bottle. Twice.

This one is actually productive, so I feel less guilty about looking like I was manufacturing illegal drugs in my kitchen while sterilizing every single bottle and pacifier in our house.

She Pressure Washes Something If She Can Because, Yes, It Is Oddly Satisfying

Do yourself a favor and Google pressure washing videos. Seriously, do it. Also, you're welcome.

She Pretends She's The Next Martha Stewart

Suddenly, I wanted to bake cookies every day. Not just normal cookies, mind you; I wanted to bake organic, gluten free cookies shaped like pumpkins with icing faces and sprinkles on top.

I also wanted to iron and use starch and wear cardigans and jewelry and, well, it got out of hand.

She Cleans Literally Everything And Refuses Help

You can't go through a nesting phase and not scrub every square inch of your house exactly the way you want it cleaned. It's just not realistic.

She Prepares For Apocalypse, Just In Case

What better time to prepare for a potential world-ending event or zombie apocalypse than while nine months pregnant, right? I mean, you never know. There's no harm in getting prepared for zombies while also getting ready to take care of a baby. It's called multi-tasking. Duh.