Life
This May 10, moms across the country will stand with their thumbs hovering over their phones, attempting to craft hilarious Instagram captions for Mother's Day to capture the bliss... the joy... the wonder that is maternal love.
Of course, this Mother's Day is also a bit different than others. With much of the country still under lockdown or slowly emerging from quarantine, there likely won't be the usual brunch at your favorite cafe with the kids screaming and throwing crayons while you attempt to eat a cold omelette. Your husband might not be able to grab a weird scented candle for you at Target that you will have to pretend to be delighted by. No, this year families might need to get creative. Which is slightly terrifying, I know. But I mean, who doesn't like a delicate dandelion bouquet? Or mimosas mixed from apple juice and Nyquil?
Jokes aside, this Mother's Day will likely carry even more meaning for moms, as recent events have sharply pulled into focus the things that really matter. Right now, I feel so lucky and grateful for every day I get to climb out of bed and wrap my arms around my kid and my partner. Sure, two hours later I might be hiding in the bathroom, pretending to take the world's slowest shower in order to have two minutes of peace, but that is neither here nor there.
Anyway, this May 10 is supposed to be a day of rest and celebration for mothers everywhere! (To which moms everywhere say, “Lol right.”) So allow me to help lighten the load that day by offering a selection of carefully considered Insta captions… captions perfectly suited to celebrating the glory of motherhood.
1
Hashtag Truth
Sure, I had to get an episiotomy... but look! Eggs Benedict and a mimosa! #MothersDayTreats
2
Pure Joy
"Please enjoy this heavily filtered moment of Mother’s Day perfection featuring my child bringing me a stack of pancakes in bed. Please disregard that I made the food myself, my child had to be bribed with M&Ms to hold the plate, and that shortly after the photo was taken he spilled syrup on the dog and now everyone... everyone... is screaming. #MommysSpecialDay"
3
Self Care
"This Mother's Day... rosé all day! And by rosé all day, I mean I would like to lie down in a bathtub of pink wine, not unlike Miss Hannigan in Annie."
4
This Wasn't In The Manual
"Mothers hold their children’s hands for a while, their children’s hearts for forever, and pick up LEGOs until they are dead."
5
It's The Little Things
"Motherhood brings with it so many tender little moments. Sticky hands tugging you onward... Chubby cheeks and gleeful giggles... Someone to sit and and stare at you when you're on the toilet while they eat Skittles and talk about the size of a shark’s brain..."
6
Mommie Dearest
"This Mother’s Day, think of all the times you didn’t maniacally cut down your rose garden at 2 a.m. while wearing a ballgown. And give yourself a little pat on the back. #WayToGoMom"
7
Postpartum Life Lasts Forever
"Help your partner understand what the magic of motherhood truly means: encourage him to wet his pants at a trampoline park. #MothersDayTruth"
8
A Real Gift
"Did you wake up this morning wishing you had an oversized plate with a handprint on it, or maybe a necklace fashioned from a knotted pipe cleaner, a single bead, and a random black hair? Well, you’re in luck! #MothersDayGifts"
9
Quarantine Confusion
"It's Mother's Day! Apparently? Quarantine has me so confused it might be Christmas. Jingle bells, everyone!"
10
The Sound Of Silence
"Silence is golden. Unless you have kids. Then it's deeply suspicious."
11
When The Kids Make The Waffles
"Is there anything sweeter than breakfast in bed? And syrup on your sheets? And the dog? And pretty much everything?"
12
Reese Gets It
“I always says if you aren’t yelling at your kids, you aren’t spending enough time with them.” — Reese Witherspoon
13
Precious Memories
"May my child never forget when I carried him in my arms, pressed close to my heart... And may he never remember the haircut I gave him during quarantine."
14
Chrissy Remembers
"No one told me I’d be coming home in diapers too.” — Chrissy Teigen
15
Pantry Staples
"This Mother's Day may be the first where after admiring our kids' handmade macaroni necklaces, we must later boil and eat their creations. #pastatooprecious #conservingfood"
16
Power Of Love
"Motherhood. Powered by love. And the Bogle Chardonnay vineyard."
17
The Key To Happiness
"If mom's not happy, no one is happy. And if mom is happy, hurry quick break something or lets maybe just start screaming for no reason!"
18
Bye Bye Baby
"Never thought I'd miss the days when I had spit-up oozing down my back, and yet... I weirdly do. #theygrowuptoofast"
19
Tina Gets It Best Of All
"Ah, babies. They're more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts." — Tina Fey
20
Shattering
"It can take a while to find your voice as a mom. And when you do, it's usually one that can break glass."
21
Preparation Is Key
"How to prepare for Motherhood: 1. Wake yourself up just before dawn to discuss what would happen if a robot had leeches for arms. 2. Scatter small bits of chicken around your home. 3. Have someone scream your name repeatedly while you are attempting to apply mascara. 4. Think of the thing you love most in the world. Now multiply that feeling by a gazillion infinity trillion billion. #WouldntTradeItForAnything"
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