When I was in high school, college, and right up until I decided I did want to have a baby, I knew "for sure" that I did not want to have a baby. I have always been a proud, outspoken feminist and, unfortunately, I thought that I couldn't be a mother and fight for women's rights simultaneously. I saw motherhood as nothing more than a forced social standard that women were pushed to meet, whether they actually wanted to be parents or not (which is still true), and I didn't want to bend to the wills of the patriarchy by getting knocked up and pushing another human being out of my body.
Now that I'm a mom, I realize how wrong (oh, so wrong) I was. I wasn't wrong about the pressure put on women to baby-up or opt-out of having their womanhood validated by society-at-large; that's very much the case, and it sucks. But I was decidedly incorrect in my thinking that procreating would fundamentally undermine my status as a feminist, that it would someone dilute the strength of my conviction. Having a kid can be hugely beneficial to feminists. Becoming a mother has made me even more aware of how important gender equality really is. After all, being a feminist doesn't mean that you do what you think you should in order to fulfill a certain role. No — being a feminist means that you fight for the equality of all genders, so that women have the freedom to make their own choices with their own bodies. I chose to have a child, and now I am choosing to raise that child to be a feminist as well.
Having kids, I've come to realize, is indeed a feminist act that highlights many of the things feminist fight for. Here are just a few reasons why popping out a mini-you isn't anti-feminist, but rather a great feminist choice that supports the continued work of the feminist movement.
You Can Diversify Feminism
Unfortunately, many people associate feminism with misandrists who don't want children, don't shave, and don't want men to be part of their lives. Obviously, this stereotype is far from the truth (although some women definitely are all of those things, and that's rad), and feminist mothers can help others realize that being a feminist doesn't (necessarily) mean you hate men and tradition, it just means that you believe the sexes to be equal.
You Can Help Stop The Marginalization Of Motherhood
Unfortunately, mothers have been made to feel excluded from the feminist movement. Starting in the '60s, feminist considered motherhood a form of slavery, and believed reproduction to be another way to control women. Therefore, women who became mothers were often looked at as a working cog of the patriarchy; weak women who were unable to "fight the power."
Whether that was true then, I can't say, but I can say that a woman's choice to become a mother doesn't make her weak or any less of a feminist. Mothers contribute to the feminist movement on a daily basis, and can help more and more people see the need for gender equality.
You Can Redefine What It Means To Be A Mother
For far too long, being a mother meant that you didn't work. You only cared about your children, you were married, and your husband "ran the house." That is (thankfully and obviously) not the case, and feminist mothers have an opportunity to redefine what it means to be a mother. Being a mother means that you make deadlines and playdates, run business meetings and birthday parties, settle cases and settle down a crying baby, handle high level meetings and handle a toddler tantrum. Mothers are more than just their ability (and choice) to reproduce, and it's time for that to become common knowledge.
Images: Southbank Centre/Flickr; Giphy (6)