Ryan revealed that she co-parents with her ex quite successfully, and respects him as her child’s father. When Violet talks to Ryan about her dad’s good qualities, Ryan responds with nothing but compliments about him, but that leads to Violet wondering why they aren’t dating. “You have to think on your feet as a single mom,” she jokes. “I’m like ‘Great question...that is because he...is...too good for me.’”’ Violet is unsure about the response, and then points out that Ryan is on television while her father doesn’t even have a microwave.

After Ryan tells Violet about how wonderful her dad is and how she’s not good enough to date him, she knows that her daughter will do whatever it takes to get them back together. She knows that when Violet goes back to her dad’s house, she’ll tell him how much Ryan misses him and loves him. But Ryan and her ex have the whole situation worked out. He will also tell Violet that he loves her mother, but that he is just not good enough for her. “And so we’ve worked it out that Violet thinks she has two parents who are very much in love,” Ryan jokes. “But just with bottom-of-the-barrel self-esteem problems.”

Ryan joked that she dating one man that she actually considered allowing into her house, but when he moved to Japan, it broke her heart. When he called her and told her he expected her to pull her daughter out of school and follow him to Japan because he hoped she “needed” him, she told him she never really needed him at all. “No, I don’t need you, I liked you,” she said. “I enjoy your company, but you are a luxury item.” When he tells her he hoped to be her second priority after her daughter, she laughs, “Hah, second, no.”

When talking to two single moms in the audience, Ryan points out that single moms are often shamed into getting into another relationship, while single fathers are celebrated as “eligible.” “I just bought a house in Central London,” she jokes. “They would have made me the Bachelor two years ago.”

Ryan points out that if she was a man, raising a daughter with no financial help, there would be shirtless memes and viral Youtube videos lauding him for doing random things like housework. She goes on to highlight the viral video of a dad braiding his daughter’s hair which got 40 million views. “Incredible dad learns to braid his own child’s hair, how does he do it?” she jokes.

Ryan talks about how people are always telling her to find someone, but that she’s just happy doing her own thing. “Boys are taught to become somebody, girls are taught to find somebody,” she says. “I have chosen to do neither of those dog s**t things.”

Ryan talks about going to the funeral of her friend’s aunt, who was a 95-year-old woman who escaped the Nazis and started her own successful business. “As we saw her off, a man next to us said ‘Oh, so sad, 95-years-old and never able to find a man,’” she says. “I was like ‘How do you think she lived so long?’”

Ryan offers up a refreshing and much needed feminist take on single motherhood. For more laughs, you can check out her entire special, Glitter Room, currently streaming on Netflix.