Life
Honestly, where would we be without our friends? Whether a best friend is a sister or a neighbor, a bestie from high school or an old college roommate, these people help us through the ups and downs of life. Having a support system is vital, and nothing makes that more obvious than parenthood. Many of our friendships may dwindle as time moves us forward and toward those big life decisions, but there are always those who stick by us no matter what. It’s no exaggeration: our BFFs help make us better moms, so I asked a few moms to share just how their person helped them adjust to parenthood. Fair warning: their answers are going to hit you square in the feels.
I'm lucky, in that I can't say only one best friend helped me be the mom I am today. When I got pregnant for the first time, it was my bestie who held my hand as I struggled to figure out what to do and wrap my mind around the idea of being someone else's mom. She was the first one to buy me a baby book and take me maternity clothes shopping. She was also the first one to come to the hospital when I lost that baby. Her support, from the very beginning and through the worst scenario imaginable, is impossible to quantify.
These days, I mostly rely on another best friend for emotional support. She and I message each other on a daily basis, usually about the trials and tribulations of motherhood. She’s who I can complain to and celebrate with and I’m so glad to have her in my life. Chatting with her helps keep me grounded as a mom. I spoke to several other mamas on how their BFFs help them be better moms, too, and this is what they had to say:
Allison, 29
"By watching their endless amount of patience they had to give. It gave me hope to do the same with my own. And also watching their kids lose their sh*t from time to time reminds me how as mothers we all deal with the same crap."
Maya, 32
"One of my best friends doesn't have kids, but she's always willing to lend an ear. And she's been willing to use her expertise to help me advocate for my children. Another best friend is a fellow special needs mom. Our kids are similar ages, and with some of the same diagnoses. She is always willing to help me come up with ideas on how to address issues my kids are having, or talk through a hard day and help me find the silver lining."
Emily, 37
"She assured me there were no wrong thoughts, feelings, or things. Everything was OK to feel and express. She gave me a safe place to be honest with myself about this journey. Being honest with myself and knowing there is always someone I can be honest with makes me a better mom."
Tia, 34
“My best friend is always up for a girls' day. She loves my kids, but is always up for time ‘just us’ [sic] which gives me some much needed self-care.”
Janel, 45
"I'm not entirely sure that this qualifies because of the unusual nature of it, but during my [still happening] divorce, my best friend moved in with me. She provides a constant source of calm, so when I'm overwhelmed she gives me the energy to remember that my children are autonomous people worthy of having their voices heard and considered. I am a calmer, and happier, mother because of her."
Arlene, 23
"I had my husband’s family for support. And his cousin, who is now my best friend, was super supportive and helpful whenever I had a question. She is overall an amazing woman, mother, wife, everything. So she's been very inspirational in my life. My friends where supportive, but not really influential in my mom life."
Jamie, 34
“My best friend doesn't have children and when we get together mine are not usually present. So our dynamic hasn't changed too much and how he sees me as a person isn't dominated by the idea that I'm a mom. Having someone who has never stopped seeing me first and foremost as me (instead of solely or primarily as my children's mother) has enabled me to maintain a strong sense of identity which, in turn, has made me a better mother."
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