7 Reasons A Slytherin Will Be The Most Thrilling Sex Of Your Life
byM. Esther Sherman
When it comes to sex, we all want the best. We
want the kind of encounters that can make the skin ache for more and the mind
reel with instant replays. We want heat, sweat, passion, and well, um, orgasms. Let's not beat around the bush (although sometimes that helps). Mostly, we want the best of everything when it comes to sex, and I'm here to finally make sure everyone knows that the best sex happens with people who are Slytherins. I
know, a myriad of objections exist to this fact of life, but sorry, guys, I don’t make the rules. All I know,
based on entirely unsubstantiated data and an exceptionally high opinion of my
own sexual prowess, is that Slytherins are better in bed.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m certain there are a
number of Hufflepuffs with the ability to break a bed. There may even be a few
Ravenclaws who leave a body marked and pleasantly broken after an intense romp. And most assuredly, there are some Gryffindors who can
leave you desperate and ruined for the rest of your goddamn life (yo, have you seen
Neville Longbottom these days?). However, as a whole and with my name as
collateral, Slytherins are better in
bed. To make it a tad more legit, I even have reasons: