When my husband and I started trying to conceive our first baby, I remember feeling really weird about it. I had spent so many years trying not to get pregnant, and then, suddenly, it was a good idea? It was an odd shift to adjust to. I was giddily excited to see if this conception thing actually worked, after having barricaded myself against it with various forms of birth control since my teens. No doubt, trying to get pregnant is fun...for while. But if the collection of pee sticks without that plus sign is growing, feelings of frustration and disappointment can really take a toll. When you are having trouble getting pregnant, it can become hard to focus on anything else.
Talking to other women in similar situations can help, but not everyone knows how to be supportive. Both mom friends and child-free friends can be sources of comfort, if they are sensitive enough to realize that the struggle is real for the friend who is having a tough time trying to conceive.
The support we can offer someone is usually just listening. The most comforting words my friends have ever spoken to me when I was dealing with some heavy stuff were: “I hear you.” So don’t be so quick to come up with pearls of wisdom when you know she's is having a hard time. And maybe stay away from saying any of these things to someone who’s having trouble getting pregnant: