You need to be aware of your child's bowel movements before you start potty training. A child's poop should be mushy and plentiful, and on a consistent basis, before they start to learn how to use the potty on their own. If their poop is hard, or small, it most likely means that they're constipated, and potty training a constipated baby is, well, kind of awful. If your child is constipated and tries to go #2, it's probably going to cause them pain. They might associate that pain with using the potty, and trying to help a child unlearn a painful experience is an uphill battle.

Rome wasn't built in a day, and neither is your child's bladder control. How long and at what age a child learns how to use the potty varies greatly from kid to kid. Some kids catch on quick, while others might seem like they're never going to get it. Most experts don't recommend trying to potty train a child before they're two, but they also say that there is no magic number when it comes to potty training your child. Typically, between the ages of two and three is the ideal time to start potty training, but your child will give you potty training cues that will help you figure out when they're ready. Even then, it could take a while before they've mastered their new throne, so just try to be patient with them.

If your kid isn't getting it right away, don't worry. We all thought that we'd have our kids potty trained by a certain age, and in a certain amount of time, but that's just not realistic. Every kid and every situation is different. Some learn in a week; Some learn in a month; Some, well, some take even longer and that's not indicitive of their intelligence or your potty training ability. It really just depends on the situation. Don't burden yourself or your child with unrealistic expectations that might end up disappointing you both.

One of the most important parts of potty training is a parent's dedication to observing their child. Pay attention to potty training cues, like your child's coordination, their interest in the potty, and the physical signs that they're using the bathroom (faces, restlessness, "potty dance," etc). By the time your child is old enough to potty train, they will have learned to communicate with you to a certain extent, and you will have learned some of the patterns of their bathroom habits, too. If you're just vigilant in paying attention to what your child might be communicating physically and verbally, your potty training adventure will run much smoother.

When your child executes their bathroom business correctly, let them know how proud you are. Be their biggest cheerleader when they succeed, and their greatest source of encouragement even and especially when they don't. It's disappointing when their potty training gets derailed, but it doesn't mean that either of you failed. Encourage them when this happens, and always let them see your optimism. If you believe they can do it, they will learn to believe it, too.

I made the mistake of not being consistent when I first started to potty train my son. He would wear underwear for part of the day, a pull-up for another, and a diaper at bed time. The lack of consistency confused him. How did I expect him to get into a solid routine when there wasn't a solid routine in the first place? I was just so busy working and taking care of his brother and other people in my family, that I didn't give his potty training the commitment that it really needed. So, for several days in a row, potty training became priority. We did the same thing, the same way, every single day and it worked. He's not perfect at it, but during the day, he's got the potty mastered.

There's going to be urine in places where it definitely doesn't belong (read: the walls, your hair, your hands, the floor, your dog, the shower curtain, your bed, your couch, etc). It's gross, yes, but it's virtually unavoidable. Just keep plenty of hand sanitizer and bleach on hand, and you'll be just fine.

Trust me, you're going to need it. If you don't appreciate a glass of wine at night, find other ways to relax and make them part of your routine. Read a book or take yourself to a movie or just sit in silence, just do something that can help you find neutral and re-charge for the next pee-filled day ahead.

Yes, they will get it. I promise, you won't be sending your kid off to college or the military or their career with a package of adult diapers. It's going to take a little time, and a lot of patience, but eventually they're going to figure it out. Every kid learns at their own pace, so don't feel embarrassed or pressured or like a failure if your kid hasn't mastered the toilet by the time you think is right or around the same time as someone else's kid. It's your job to stay positive and to encourage them constantly and throughout the entire painstaking process. It's frustrating, sure, but that's just par for the parental course, right? Take the good and the bad, the pee with the potty, and celebrate the poop, because it's worth it.