Life
Ruts happen to most long-term relationships. Though a rut isn’t anything fatal, it can be uncomfortable and even miserable for some couples. Falling into a routine that becomes more mind-numbing than comforting, dealing with mounting stressors, acclimating once the initial rush of love wears off just a bit: not a few of our favorite things, but they can be surmounted with some effort and love. The ways to get out of a relationship funk all start with commitment.
Commitment really kicks in (or sadly, doesn't) when things get rough. That's when you need to make a decision that you are going to put effort and time into your relationship, not expecting it to last as a sex-soaked and secret sharing endless sleepover.
A rough patch doesn't have to be a total downer. This can be a time when you can really cement your relationship. Looking back on hard times that you weathered together and came out even closer is one of the benefits of a long lasting partnership. That kind of intimacy is special because it was hard-won. There are surely more than nine ways to get out of a relationship funk, because each relationship has its particular issues, but the below suggestions are pretty universal.
1
Go Away Together For One Night
Sometimes getting away from the domestic responsibilities is exactly what you need to reconnect. The daily grind can dull a sense of fun in your relationship. Going on a romantic getaway where the only focus is each other allows you to bring your whole self, relaxed, present and loving. Even snagging a hotel room in a different part of town can be the perfect setting. It's about the two of you together somewhere new – not necessarily somewhere fancy.
2
Start A New Activity Together
Boredom is a factor in unhappy relationships, and it's not hard to spice up a good but saggy relationship with a new activity that brings out the best of you as a team. Partners tennis, ink drawing classes, underwater basket weaving – whatever, as long as you are in it together.
3
Have Sex
I totally get it if you resist planned sex – despite being married with kids for quite a while, I don't like it. But I like it better than having no sex. So plan, make sure you choose a time of day that isn't the worst time for either of you and let those endorphins fly.
4
Do Something Unexpected
Some of the most memorable moments of my relationship have been the most unexpected, like when my husband threw me an elaborately planned surprise birthday party. I felt loved and thrilled that he did something so outside of his comfort zone, for me. Do something unexpected for your partner and make a memory they won't forget.
5
Write Love Letters
Writing a love letter doesn't just speak to the romantic, it also adds a thrill that translates to the bedroom. If you aren't a natural writer, try making a list of the qualities you most love about your partner, or get creative and make a list of times your partner turned you on, times you were impressed by them – use your imagination.
6
Work Out Together
Not only can working out lead to better sex, it also fosters a sense of camaraderie. Try some specific partner-exercises and start sweating as a team.
7
Work Toward A Goal
Setting a goal that makes both of you excited is an easy way to bond and create a sense of teamwork. A goal can be anything from traveling together, going on a run once a week, saving for a big party, or anything else you two cook up.
8
Laugh Together
Watching hilarious movies together or recalling shared moments that made you laugh. Laughing together can strengthen your relationship. Go out and do something slightly ridiculous (put-put golf, bumper cars, lazor tag) and make new funny memories.
9
Have A Few Sessions With A Couples Therapist
Sometimes you just need some outside help to identify what's going on. When the love is still there, but the relationship is sluggish or derailed, couples therapy is a huge help.
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