Entertainment

Ryan Reynolds' Top Dad Tweets Offer Plenty Of Hilarious Parenting Wisdom

by Laura Hankin

Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

Ryan Reynolds is a foulmouthed comedian hiding in the body of a conventionally gorgeous movie star, and thank goodness for that. He brings his particular brand of dark, irreverent humor to everything, from his record-breaking passion project Deadpool to his tweets about being a father. That's right — Ryan Reynolds' top dad tweets are freaking hilarious. Do yourself a favor and read them, pronto.

Reynolds and his wife, actress Blake Lively, have two young daughters, so Reynolds is very familiar with sleep deprivation, feeling overwhelmed, and trying to make your kids act like humans instead of demons on airplanes. Thankfully, he uses all the challenges of parenting as fodder for some amazing tweets. And even though he's hilariously honest about those parenting moments that cause you to think back longingly to your pre-baby life, he has also made it abundantly clear that he's thrilled to be the father of little Butternut Summer Squash — er, sorry, little James, age 2, and Ines, who was born back in September.

"I never admitted it out loud, to myself or my wife, but I really wanted a little girl,” he told People, back when his first daughter was born. “It’s the best." While fans are plenty happy for Reynolds and his lovely family, they're also happy for themselves, considering that they get to read all his one-liners about the family's life and mutter to themselves, under their breath, "Yes, Ryan Reynolds, you just get me."

On Babies Being Unpredictable

Sounds about right. Babies are changeable creatures. Sometimes they steal your heart, other times they turn into hordes of rabies-infested animals.

Ryan Reynolds/Twitter

On The Depths Of A Father's Love

Being a parent means making sacrifices, like getting a little sweaty. OK, OK, to be fair, Reynolds would also be willing to use his wife as a human shield to protect their daughter, telling David Letterman,

I used to say to [Blake], “I would take a bullet for you. I could never love anything as much as I love you.” I would say that to my wife. And the second I looked in that baby’s eyes, I knew in that exact moment that if we were ever under attack, I would use my wife as a human shield to protect that baby.

See? Sacrifices!

Ryan Reynolds/Twitter

On Responsibility

It's so great that having a baby made Reynolds realize how to be a truly good dad for both his families!

Ryan Reynolds/Twitter

On Car Rides

That's a tough one. I'm guessing we've also got to exclude cutting your hand while trying to slice a bagel, shark attacks, and letting your true love get away forever?

Ryan Reynolds/Twitter

On Self-Care

It's easy for babies to take over your life. But you've got to remember to be good to yourself, you know?

Ryan Reynolds/Twitter

On Fun Nursery Rhymes

Here's hoping he turns the latter into a picture book. It's sure to become every baby's favorite bedtime story.

Ryan Reynolds/Twitter

On Those Beautiful Quiet Moments

It sounds like a fun bonding experience! (But actually, thank goodness for this kind of parenting honesty.)

Ryan Reynolds/Twitter

On Your Kid's Dream Vacation

Aw, he is such a sweet dad!

Ryan Reynolds/Twitter

On Loss

What a truly moving alternative fact.

Ryan Reynolds/Twitter

On Supporting Other Parents

Parents have to have one another's backs. It's good to see that Reynolds is always there for his friends, when they're doubting themselves.

Ryan Reynolds/Twitter

On When The Kids Start To Grow Up

I'm here for you, Ryan.

Ryan Reynolds/Twitter

On How To Keep The Kids Entertained

Traveling with babies is fun!

Ryan Reynolds/Twitter

On His Best Parenting Advice

Sure, other parents may try to give you good advice on getting your child to sleep, or the healthiest foods to give your baby, but Reynolds has the real parenting wisdom. Get your baby booked on a diaper commercial, stat! Child stars always turn out well... right?

Thank you, Deadpool—I mean, Ryan Reynolds. You truly are a fountain of impeccable parenting wisdom.

Ryan Reynolds/Twitter
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