Life
For some it was a bolt of lightning, and for others it took a steady erosion of doubt — the realization the person they were dating was "the one" who'd end up being the parent to their future (or current) children came fast and slow for the 10 moms Romper spoke to.
Like Emily, who met her husband at age 18 but didn't know he was "the one" until 10 years later. Or Laurel, who was adamant about never having children, but realized she could raise an offspring or two with her future husband after he took care of her during a bad case of the flu.
There was never a moment when I knew I was going to start a family with the man who became my husband. But from day one, there was very much a sense of, "If things go as well as they seem to be going I am for sure going to marry this dude." And — great news! — they did, so I did, and now —more than a decade and two kids later — things continue to go pretty well. He's an incredible partner and father; as good as he always seemed that he could be.
Here's how other moms decided they'd landed on the right person:
Tia
"I grew up with my husband but I always knew he would be a good dad. Even when we were just friends for years. He always interacted with kids and had a calming presence. I didn't realize he would be the father of my kids until I realized I reciprocated his feelings of love."
Char
"When I met my now-husband, I could tell right away that he was a special guy. He was caring, very genuine and kind. I had no idea the minute we met that we'd be married. I also had no idea if we'd have kids, although I did want kids.
After we dated for a few months, I knew we'd be married. We clicked. It was the first time I'd dated someone outside of my circle of friends from high school and college ... I knew we'd be together, which I suppose meant I hoped we'd have kids together. And here we are, married for 10 years as of September and have been together for 15 years with two kids."
"Poppy"
"I paid attention to how he treated his dog. Not that babies are dogs, ha! But he was playful and even though he roughhoused with her, he was protective. He had a really good 'dad voice' when he called her to come or she was doing something naughty. It was stern a commanding, but not angry or mean. Very paternal ... I knew he'd be a good father."
Allison
"When I bumped into my now-husband, who I had also known back when we were teens, I had already birthed my first born daughter who was only a couple months old. He was the only one I could date with a small child that wasn’t awkward around her. He simply loved her and was always there for her, despite not being her father. I knew we’d be making babies soon."
"Dani"
"[My husband] is a loud, boisterous guy with a huge personality and I think people often think of him as a party guy, man's man type. I fell in love with that guy but it didn't get serious until we were in for a few months and he sat me down and talked about how important having a family was for him and was that something I saw for myself because, if it wasn't, he didn't want to waste my time and he wanted to be able to part as friends. Until that moment I didn't know if I wanted kids, to be honest. But when I saw this funny guy get very serious and sincere I saw what a great father that would make him and for the first time I got excited about the idea of having kids."
Stephanie
"[My husband] coached middle school football early on in our marriage. Thinking back on the 'coaches' from my school days, I was dreading watching the male ego in action. But after watching him console a crying 12-year-old on the sidelines, I realized that he was the opposite. He was a great supportive father figure then to his 'boys' — and is now to our two kids!"