Big Kid
And in turn, make yourself a more positive person, too.
Listen, life isn’t all rainbows and sunshine. We all know that. And if the past few months have taught us anything, it’s that optimism is needed more than ever. But it can be hard to put on a brave face for your family when you’re stressed out, too. Even if you’re having ups and downs of your own, though, it’s important to know how to raise optimistic kids, because we could all use some positivity right now.
“Optimism is much more about resiliency, overcoming struggles, and being able to hold a feeling of frustration, anger, disappointment or sadness,” Dr. Deepika Chopra, PsyD, a clinical psychologist tells Romper in an email. “At the very same time, it means holding space for hope that something better will come, which is so important especially now.” The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report that 3.2% of children ages 3 to 17 have been diagnosed with depression — which equals about 1.9 million children. (Of that, boys ages 2 to 8 were more likely than girls to suffer from a developmental, behavioral, or mental disorder.) And while you're not responsible for making sure your child is happy every second of every hour of every day, as a parent, you do need to equip your child with the tools and strategies (and in some cases, outside help) to ensure that they can look at life in a more optimistic way.
So if you’re looking for ways to have a more cheerful child, these tips can help your kiddo have a glass-half-full attitude.
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Practice Mindfulness
When your child is stressed out about school or other issues, it’s time for them (you included) to take a breath — literally. “Children who are feeling anxious should learn to focus on their breath,” Dr. Tonya Crombie, author of Stop Worrying About Your Anxious Child, tells Romper in an email. “When it’s done correctly, it truly works to calm a child (or an adult) in a matter of minutes.” But quick, shallow breaths won’t do here; you’ll need to take long, slow, and deep breaths, inhaling and exhaling slowly. Being able to breathe well can help a child readjust their thinking, relax them, and make them feel better about whatever was bugging them before.
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Learn How To Stay Calm
Keeping your cool is an integral part to raising an optimistic child. “Learning to stay calm in the moment is the foundation to optimism about the future,” says Crombie. “Without learning basic tools to calm an anxious mind, it is very difficult to feel OK right now, much less optimistic about the future.” And when you (or your child) are calmer, then you can open yourself up to planning positive things for the future.
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Adopt An Attitude Of Gratitude
If you’re looking to have a happier kid, you’ll need to find ways to build gratitude into your day. “Parents can create times to share things they're grateful for and to ask their children about the things they're grateful for as well,” advises Crombie. “Learning to practice gratitude is also a foundational skill for creating an optimistic outlook.” By practicing gratitude, you’ll be able to train your brain to find the good things and be grateful for them.
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Encourage Your Kid To Be Creative
A great way to open the doors to optimism is by allowing your child the room to be creative. “Art is a skill that shows up in many forms in life from singing, drawing, painting, building, or even creating with clay,” Dr. Elizabeth Jennings, a pediatric occupational therapist tells Romper in an email. “Parents should encourage kids by purchasing craft books or looking up creative and fun ideas to use their hands to create beautiful masterpieces.” And when kids tap into their natural talents, they’ll feel happy expressing themselves.
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Share Inspirational Stories
Sometimes, it feels like all doom and gloom everywhere, and that can unwittingly seep into your family’s collective psyche. But there are lots of good things happening every single day, too, and it’s important to show your child that. So take the time to show your child something inspirational and motivational to counterbalance any negative news reports they might be seeing, advises Jennings. “Parents can take time to look up or research inspirational real-life stories of kids or youth role models, share those stories with kids, and talk about them openly,” she says. “By allowing kids to freely explore options through exposure and open-mindedness, there are no limits to what kids can accomplish.”
While it’s OK for your kiddo to feel a wide range of emotions, it’s important for them to make their own optimism a priority. And while their feelings are entirely their own, you as the parent can still help them to hone in on happiness. And by helping your child adopt a more positive outlook on life, you’ll quite naturally start to feel happier and (hopefully), optimistic, too.
Experts:
Dr. Deepika Chopra, PsyD, a clinical psychologist, optimism doctor, and visual imagery expert
Dr. Tonya Crombie, author of Stop Worrying About Your Anxious Child
Dr. Elizabeth Jennings, OTD, OTR, c/NDT, a pediatric occupational therapist
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