Sometimes you have to approach a problem from every possible angle. But postpartum depression (PPD) is uniquely disorienting: the very symptoms you’re trying to manage — exhaustion, brain fog, hopelessness, irritability — can make it nearly impossible to do the things that are “supposed” to help. From my own experience, even after I connected with a psychologist who specialized in PPD and began building a real support system, I still felt paralyzed, overwhelmed, and too depleted to tackle the wellness routines that flood your feed.

At-home Pilates? Sure. Long, mindful walks in nature? In theory. Batch-cooking hormone-balancing meals? Please.

What I needed wasn’t a total life overhaul. It was small, low-lift supports that met me exactly where I was. And surprisingly, a handful of simple items — some practical, some comforting — made a quiet but meaningful difference as I worked through PPD. If you’re in it right now, these might be worth adding to your own toolkit.

1. A Completely Unhinged Sephora Haul

I was only a couple of weeks into motherhood when I felt a bone-deep, borderline urgent need to contour my face. Never mind that my nipples were raw, I hadn’t slept in days, and I barely recognized the person staring back at me in the mirror. A voice in my head guided me to toward Sephora, where I cathartically added-to-cart like my life depended on it.

Amid all the excitement and adjustment that comes with having a new baby, I remember this purchase because it was completely unnecessary. Everything else I bought in those early days was out of need: diapers (for baby and me), wipes, nipple cream, and nursing bras. Ordering some “just because” cosmetics was a lovely detour on the PPD highway. It reminded me that I was still a person with preferences and wants — not just a body keeping another human alive.

Merit Bronze Balm Sheer Sculpting Bronzer

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2. A Gorgeous Cookbook From Your Favorite Instagram Chef

My Instagram feed transitioned from recipes and fashion tips to all things New Mom Life. It became a fun-house mirror of my life — perfect moms perfectly feeding their perfectly sleeping babies.

But when a friend gifted me an assortment of beautiful cookbooks, they became the offline portal I needed to feel inspired without feeling overwhelmed. Was I cooking? No. But before my baby, I loved to cook, and paging through lush photography, insightful tips, and recipes provided a much-needed break from the doom scroll. It let me reconnect with something I enjoyed without the pressure to perform it perfectly.

By Heart: Recipes to Hold Near and Dear

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3. A Hairbrush That Won’t Rip Your Hair Out

A surprisingly helpful tool for anyone who’s dealt with depression. After days of “I’ll brush it tomorrow,” I felt dread at the thought of detangling my hair. But when a friend who’d been through PPD sent me what she dubbed her “Depression Stick,” I could finally check one thing off my list — even if it was as small as brushing my own hair.

Kitsch Detangling Flexi Brush

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4. A Sane Way To Prep Dinner

When I had my second child, the reality of juggling PPD and mom guilt felt like too much to carry. Since my knack for the kitchen went out the door with PPD, I outsourced what I could, and found that Little Spoon offered nutritious pre-made meals with clean ingredients that my 3-year-old would miraculously enjoy.

Taking this stress off my plate (literally) gave me room to breathe and simply connect with my 3-year-old at mealtime instead of quietly crying over burnt broccoli.

Little Spoon Ready-to-Eat Plates

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5. A Portable Laundry Hamper

There are a lot of issues I have with laundry — the amount of it, the time it takes, and the folding it requires. But one of the biggest hassles is simply moving it from one room to another. While this hamper (unfortunately) doesn’t solve every complaint, its nifty folding mechanism makes it easier to scoop up dirty clothes like a Birkin bag and haul them to the washing machine.

When you’re knee-deep in PPD, and everything is hard, anything that makes daily life a little easier is worth it.

Yamazaki Laundry Hamper

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6. A Pair Of Sneakers That Require Zero Effort

In the throes of PPD, even bending down (with a baby strapped to your chest) to tie your shoes can be reason enough to stay put. But what if you could slide into a pair of shoes that not only supported your fallen arches but also looked cute?

Kizik shoes are designed with hands-free technology that is truly hands-free without sacrificing support. No bending required.

Kizik Brooklyn Slip-On Sneaker

Kizik -

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If you’re experiencing postpartum depression (PPD), it can feel incredibly isolating — especially during a season that everyone tells you is supposed to be “the happiest time of your life.” The truth is, postpartum depression is common, deeply personal, and often misunderstood. It doesn’t always look like constant tears or an inability to get out of bed. Sometimes it looks like irritability, numbness, anxiety, or simply not feeling like yourself anymore. And because it shows up differently for everyone, it can be hard to recognize — even harder to talk about.

Here, three moms share what it really looked like for them.

The Mom Who Had Anxiety And Depression Pre-Baby

Rachel, 35, lives in New York and is mom to a 4-year-old son. Before getting pregnant, she thought she had a solid understanding of postpartum depression. “I knew a little bit about PPD pre-pregnancy, but I didn't really know the nuances of it — especially how it can manifest as rage,” she says. Because she had a history of anxiety and depression, she stayed in close contact with her therapist throughout pregnancy, continuing treatment and speaking candidly about the possibility of postpartum depression or anxiety.

Her pregnancy was smooth. Delivery was “breezy,” too. In those first days, she actually felt surprisingly good.

Then the baby blues came — and didn’t fade.

“Instead, the feelings continued and deepened,” she says. For Rachel, PPD showed up as postpartum rage. “I was beyond irritable and had a short fuse. I took a lot of it out on my poor husband, but it felt truly out of my control.” She felt constantly on edge, easily overstimulated, and trapped in what she describes as a “dark haze.” The intrusive thoughts she’d managed before motherhood intensified. “I vividly remember thinking I would drop my son any time I was holding him. It was awful.”

Even with a strong mental health foundation, she realized she needed more support. Alongside therapy, Rachel worked closely with her doctor and a mental health specialist to adjust her care plan for about six months. “It kind of gave me that extra push,” she says.

Now, with distance, she encourages other moms not to dismiss what they’re feeling. “Be gentle with yourself. Don’t convince yourself that it’s ‘only baby blues’ or that you can power through it,” she says. “It’s OK to ask for help — you shouldn’t feel ashamed.”

The Mom Whose PPD Was Tied To Birth Trauma And Feeding Struggles

Juliana, 40, lives in North Carolina and has two kids, ages 4 and 6. Her first birth was traumatic. “I had an emergency C-section with my first child, and my epidural wore off. I still have nightmares about it.” In the days after delivery, everything felt foggy and disjointed. “Post delivery, it was all a haze. I could barely move and I knew pretty quickly that something wasn’t right.”

Instead of joy, she felt irritated and completely depleted. “I remember my speech being very slow, almost slurred. And I barely moved, except if it was for the baby.” Most days, she sat on the couch or in bed, staring straight ahead, holding her daughter upright after feeds — no small task with a colicky newborn. The physical recovery was hard, but the emotional weight felt heavier.

Things began to shift around her daughter’s three-month check-up, when she learned her baby wasn’t gaining enough weight and the pediatrician suggested supplementing with formula. “It felt like the pediatrician gave me permission to stop breastfeeding and stop feeling like such a failure,” Juliana says. That moment — letting go of the pressure she had placed on herself — became an unexpected turning point.

When she welcomed her second baby two years later, she felt more prepared. She recognized the signs sooner, trusted her instincts, and reached out for support earlier. Now, she hopes other mothers hear this: “You can love your baby more than anything and still hate being a mom at first. It’s a rough transition. Give yourself time.”

The Mom Who Thought It Was Just Harder The Second Time Around

Jillian, 36, lives in New Jersey and is mom to two kids, ages 4½ and 3. Physically, her second pregnancy was “textbook and relatively easy.” Emotionally, it was more complicated. “I became pregnant a lot sooner than expected,” she says. “When I found out, I was overwhelmed with sadness — sad because I didn’t feel ready, and sad that I felt sad instead of elated.” The guilt of not feeling purely happy weighed on her from the start.

After delivery, she initially felt great. “I was immediately in love with this beautiful baby boy,” she says. Without the uncertainty of first-time motherhood, she felt present and capable. But around the second month postpartum, something began to shift. “It built over time,” she explains. “Going from one to two children was a big transition, and it was difficult to tell what was ‘normal’ hard or if it was something bigger.”

One afternoon, the tension bubbled over. As she struggled to get her toddler’s shoes on, frustration escalated until her daughter burst into tears and asked for her dad instead. “I went into my bedroom and just started sobbing. The words ‘I am such a failure’ kept echoing in my head.” Logically, she knew that wasn’t true — but in that moment, it felt undeniable.

“The voice in my head was extremely negative,” she says. She didn’t want to get out of bed. The things that once energized her felt unreachable. A close friend gently pointed out that she didn’t seem like herself and encouraged her to talk to someone. Therapy helped her put language to what she was feeling and reminded her she wasn’t broken — she was overwhelmed and struggling.

Now, Jillian wants other moms to trust their instincts. “Motherhood is hard — but it doesn’t have to be so hard that you feel like you’re drowning inside. If you feel even the slightest bit ‘off,’ talk to someone.”

Postpartum depression doesn’t follow one script. It can look like rage, self-doubt, numbness, or a heaviness that slowly settles in. What these moms share is this: naming it — and reaching for support — can make all the difference.

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Remember your six-week postpartum checkup? Your OB likely handed you a clipboard and asked you to fill out a screening for postpartum depression (PPD). It can feel like a milestone: You made it through pregnancy, delivery, and those hazy newborn weeks. You’re in the clear — right?

But what if the hard feelings don’t show up until later? What if the fog, sadness, or anxiety creeps in at three months — or even six? What if it happens well after the newborn stage?

According to experts, that’s more common than many moms realize.

Yes, PPD Can Show Up Months Later

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) technically defines PPD as depression that begins during pregnancy or within four weeks of delivery. But in practice, it’s rarely that tidy.

“Symptoms consistent with a major depressive episode may appear much later — some research suggests they can develop three, six, or even up to 12 months after delivery,” says Dr. Zachary Rubeo, a board-certified maternal-fetal medicine specialist at Pediatrix Medical Group.

Clinically, many providers consider postpartum depression to include depression that begins anytime within the first year after birth. And even beyond that window, symptoms tied to pregnancy or the postpartum transition deserve attention.

“We sort of say that it can show up anytime,” says Dr. Catherine Birndorf, a reproductive psychiatrist and CEO of The Motherhood Center. “As long as there are seeds of it from the pregnancy, delivery, or postpartum.” For example, if someone comes in years later describing depression that began after having children, “I’m like, you probably had untreated postpartum depression. We just don’t call it that when the kid’s four,” she explains.

In other words: If it began around the transition to motherhood, it counts — even if no one named it at the time.

How Common Is PPD?

PPD is both very common — and often misunderstood.

Research estimates that 10 to 20% of new mothers worldwide experience PPD, though many clinicians believe the actual number is much higher. Birndorf estimates it may affect as many as one in three women, with rates often higher among BIPOC mothers due to disparities in care and systemic barriers.

“It’s underreported, underdiagnosed, undertreated, and misunderstood. Often, we just suck it up because we’re women,” she notes.

Part of the issue is timing. After the standard four- to eight-week postpartum visit, many parents aren’t screened again unless they raise concerns themselves.

Why Symptoms Can Emerge Later

There isn’t one single cause of late-onset PPD. It’s usually a mix of hormonal shifts, exhaustion, and cumulative stress.

Rubeo explains that support often changes in the months after birth. Early on, there may be a flurry of family and friends dropping off meals and checking in, but by three months, that help often fades. Around the same time, many U.S. parents return to work, navigating separation from their baby while juggling childcare logistics and financial pressure. As families settle into a “new normal,” the demands of parenting pile up — and for parents who were already vulnerable, or whose earlier symptoms went unnoticed, that added stress can tip the balance.

What Late-Onset PPD Can Feel Like

PPD doesn’t always look like sobbing on the bathroom floor. Sometimes it looks like irritability, numbness, or the sense that everything feels heavier than it should.

That’s why Birndorf prefers the broader term “perinatal mood anxiety disorder” (PMAD), which includes depression but also anxiety, OCD, PTSD, and psychosis.

Rubeo says patients often report depressed mood, hopelessness, and a loss of interest in activities. Other symptoms can include fatigue, difficulty concentrating, agitation, guilt (especially around caring for the baby), and weight changes unrelated to dieting.

“Every patient’s presentation is unique,” Rubeo says. “If your mental health feels persistently altered from your baseline and it’s affecting your daily life or bonding with your baby, that’s worth paying attention to.”

In severe cases, some women experience hallucinations or thoughts of self-harm or harming their baby. These situations are rare but require immediate medical attention.

What To Do If This Sounds Familiar

Even if symptoms emerge months after birth, they are still valid — and treatable.

“The most important thing is not to keep your symptoms to yourself,” says Rubeo. “Too many women suffer alone because of stigma or feelings of failure as a parent.”

He encourages parents to reach out to their OB-GYN or primary care provider. Treatment is effective and may include therapy, medication, support groups, or a combination.

Motherhood can change your hormones, your sleep, and your identity. If your mental health shifts too — even months later — that’s not a personal failure. It’s a sign you deserve support.

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Bringing home a newborn can be equal parts awe-inspiring and overwhelming. One moment, you’re soaking in the weight of them on your chest; the next, you’re navigating sleepless nights and the enormous responsibility of caring for a brand-new human who depends on you for everything. Even under the best circumstances, the postpartum period is a profound adjustment.

Because exhaustion, emotional swings, and moments of self-doubt are so common in those early weeks, it can be difficult to recognize when something more serious — like postpartum depression (PPD) — may be at play. Many moms expect to feel tired or stretched thin, and may not realize when their feelings go beyond the typical challenges of new parenthood.

Misunderstandings about PPD can add another layer of confusion. But knowing the facts isn’t just empowering; it can help moms seek support sooner and feel less alone in the process.

Here are five common myths — and the truths that can help you or someone you love navigate this season with clarity and confidence.

Myth #1: PPD Is Rare

If a mom believes that PPD is rare, she may assume she doesn’t have it. PPD affects 1 in 8 women in the U.S., yet nearly half are never diagnosed by a health professional. That lack of diagnosis can reinforce the false belief that PPD is uncommon, and, even when she is struggling, make it easier to dismiss symptoms.

Myth #2: PPD Only Happens Right After Birth

In movies and TV shows, PPD is often portrayed as happening in the immediate aftermath of birth — either in the hospital or within the first few weeks at home. In reality, the postpartum period is typically defined as lasting up to six months, though emotional and physical recovery can extend beyond that, and the timeline varies for everyone.

With that in mind, PPD can begin immediately after birth or emerge months later. According to Dr. Sanam Hafeez, founder and director of Comprehend the Mind, a parent may seem to be doing well at first, only to develop symptoms several months postpartum. There is no set timeline for PPD, and just because a mother seems fine initially does not mean she’s immune.

Myth #3: A Mom With PPD Doesn’t Love Her Child

As a new mom (or any parent), it can be terrifying to imagine that someone might question your love for your child. That fear alone is a major barrier for women to acknowledge their symptoms or seek support.

To be clear: PPD does not mean that a mother does not love her child. “The idea of not loving your kid is simply not true,” says Hafeez. “Your hormones are running the show. You have such little say.”

Myth #4: Moms With PPD Want To Harm Their Babies

This is an area where there’s often confusion about what PPD actually involves.

“Postpartum depression does not come with a desire to hurt yourself or your baby,” says Hafeez. Some moms may experience intrusive thoughts, but those thoughts are typically unwanted and distressing — not reflective of their true feelings or intentions.

A separate and rare condition, postpartum psychosis, carries different symptoms and risks. It affects approximately 0.089 to 2.6 people per 1,000 births.

Most importantly: PPD is common, treatable, and does not define a mother’s love or her ability to care for her child.

Myth #5: There’s No Stigma Around PPD Anymore

In 2026, postpartum depression isn’t always whispered about behind closed doors. Many women share their experiences openly on social media, and celebrities have spoken candidly about their struggles. With so much conversation, it can seem as though the stigma has disappeared.

But Hafeez says that’s far from the full picture. “There are certain cultures that look down on a mom ‘making it about herself,’” she says. And she doesn’t just mean defined cultural groups. “I see people who say, ‘nope, we don’t go to shrinks in our family.’”

When it’s assumed that every mom who’s struggling will feel comfortable talking about it, a large subset of people can fall through the cracks. Not every mom feels able to admit to her loved ones, her doctors, or even to herself that she may be struggling with PPD. That’s why postpartum mental health can’t depend solely on moms raising their hands. Providers should proactively screen and revisit the conversation over time, recognizing that symptoms may not appear immediately. Consistent check-ins help normalize these discussions and make it easier for moms to accept support when they need it.

If you think you or someone you know might be experiencing PPD, reach out to a doctor or mental health professional. While it can feel isolating, know that you don’t have to go through it alone.

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For many moms, the newborn phase is painted as a happy one, even if you’re not getting much sleep. There’s a lot to marvel at, from tiny toes to a first real laugh. But those first weeks can also feel isolating. You might find yourself nap-trapped under a Velcro baby or unsure about nursing in public. Isolation is a major risk factor for postpartum depression (PPD), while research shows that strong social support can be protective.

That’s where community comes in. It’s not just a helpful extra — it can be foundational. In fact, “community support is one of the most protective factors against postpartum depression,” says Dr. Niyati Dhand, M.D., a double board-certified perinatal and reproductive psychiatrist at Alaire Psychiatry in Chicago. “It helps prevent isolation and provides parents with reassurance, encouragement, and validation.” But not everyone has easy access to that kind of village. Here’s why it matters — and how to build it.

How Loneliness Impacts PPD

The baby blues are common after childbirth, thanks to hormonal shifts, sleep deprivation, and the weight of new responsibility. The postpartum period can feel overwhelming, even if your baby eats and sleeps well. But PPD is more intense, and many of the signs providers look for involve withdrawal from daily life and a deepening sense of loneliness.

One red flag is pulling away from friends or family. It’s not just needing rest, but “isolation or distancing from loved ones,” says Dhand. That might look like ignoring calls or going weeks without seeing close friends. You might also feel detached from routines or activities that would otherwise ground you.

Other symptoms include losing interest in things that usually bring you joy. Letting self-care fall by the wayside can also signal something more serious, especially when it goes “beyond the typical demands of new parenthood,” says Dhand. “For example, skipping showers, teeth-brushing, or meals, not because of limited time, but due to low motivation or apathy.”

If you suspect you or a loved one may be experiencing PPD, support is available through Postpartum Support International, which offers a dedicated helpline and resources.

Why Community Counts So Much

Community offers tangible support. “Beyond emotional support, practical help such as assisting with childcare, meals, feeding, and laundry can be life-changing,” says Dhand. That help can give parents meaningful stretches of physical and mental rest — both essential for recovery.

Peer support can be especially powerful. Even if they aren’t experiencing PPD themselves, “they can still be empathetic and understanding,” says Adrienne Griffen, the executive director of the Maternal Mental Health Leadership Alliance.

But there’s another layer of support that can come with talking to someone who has experienced PPD firsthand. “Every mom who goes through this thinks that they are the only one,” Griffen says. “When you hear somebody else say that they’re having those same feelings, it’s extremely validating and normalizing.”

That shared understanding can also ease the pressure of trying to be a “perfect” mom. “Being around other women who are also struggling can feel like a relief,” says Dr. Marcie Weiner, Psy.D., a senior perinatal psychologist and clinical director at the Postpartum Stress Center in Philadelphia. “Motherhood is a huge adjustment.”

How To Build Your Community

Finding a community can feel daunting, which is why planning ahead helps. Before giving birth, find a few consistent anchors. “Individuals you feel emotionally safe turning to during moments of stress,” says Dhand. Your support system doesn’t have to be large — just reliable.

Dhand also recommends identifying professional support in advance, such as a lactation consultant, perinatal therapist, reproductive psychiatrist, pelvic-floor therapist, postpartum doula, or primary care physician. You may not need all of them, but having names and numbers ready can make it easier to reach out if you’re already overwhelmed.

That said, try to avoid relying on social media as your primary source of connection. “People look like they’re managing so perfectly, and all you see is all these ways that you’re failing,” says Weiner. Instead, she encourages moms to seek in-person connection. “Gravitate to places where there are other moms. Being around other moms who are doing what you’re doing is such a better option than sitting there scrolling on social media.”

Getting out the door can feel impossible — especially if you’re struggling with PPD — but even small steps toward connection can make a meaningful difference.

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If you are postpartum and your brain feels like spotty Wi-Fi, dropping words mid-sentence, forgetting why you walked into a room, or freezing over simple decisions, you are not alone. Postpartum “brain fog” is real, and it can feel especially unsettling when it appears alongside postpartum depression (PPD).

Clinically, brain fog isn’t a single symptom. “Women often describe a dip in memory, focus, and the ability to say the word they’re looking for,” says Lorain Moorehead, LCSW, PMH-C, a licensed clinical social worker. While it’s often brushed off as “mom brain,” cognitive symptoms are “very common in the postpartum period,” says Dr. Carlene Denis, MD, a board-certified OB/GYN. In one study, about 26% of first-time moms showed measurable cognitive impairment in the postpartum period.

“Between the hormonal changes and the sleep deprivation, feeling like your best self is difficult to do,” says Denis. There’s also the emotional recovery of pregnancy and birth (especially if someone experienced a traumatic delivery or is struggling to bond), which can intensify the fog.

The good news is that brain fog does not mean you are failing at parenthood or doing anything wrong. Experts emphasize the importance of working with your brain during this phase, rather than fighting against it. Understanding why this is happening is a powerful first step, and from there, there are supportive, realistic ways to move through it at your own pace.

Stop Trying to “Push Through” (And Lower Your Mental Load)

While mental clarity often returns gradually as hormones stabilize, Moorehead emphasizes that it is the in-between period where systems, not willpower, make the greatest difference. “Increasing brain clarity is a process that takes time,” she says. “In the interim, setting up systems and approaches that may not have been necessary before can be a huge asset, both now and in the future.”

Trying to simply “push through” this phase, experts warn, can actually slow progress. “It can increase stress, worsen fatigue, and leave people feeling even more overwhelmed, which may delay recognizing when additional support is needed,” adds Dr. Anushka Chelliah, MD, a board-certified maternal-fetal medicine specialist.

What to consider:

• Limit your daily to-do list to one or two tasks. “Do not put more than one or two tasks on the daily list,” Denis advises. Fewer decisions mean less strain on an already taxed brain.
• Reduce complexity wherever possible. Chelliah suggests breaking tasks into smaller, more manageable steps, such as doing one type of laundry at a time, to reduce cognitive load and conserve mental energy.
• Pre-load future tasks. Set thing ups now so your future self doesn’t have to rely on memory or motivation. For example, “put items you need to return or mail directly in the car so you don’t have to remember later,” says Moorehead.
• Externalize your memory. Phone reminders, notes apps, and written lists can help take the pressure off your brain so it does not have to hold everything.
• Let others carry the invisible work. If you have support, use it. “You take care of the baby, and everyone else takes care of you,” says Denis. As they say, raising kids takes a village.

It’s Not Just About How Little Sleep You’re Getting

If postpartum moms had a penny for every time someone told them to “sleep when the baby sleeps,” they could at least afford a decent cup of coffee. While sleep deprivation absolutely plays a role, it is far from the whole story. “Although sleep deprivation may be a contributing factor, the postpartum period involves many physiological stressors,” says Chelliah, including hormonal shifts, mood changes, physical recovery, feeding demands, and the constant vigilance that comes with caring for a newborn.

Denis points to the sharp drop in estrogen and progesterone that occurs after childbirth, explaining that these hormonal shifts can trigger physical and cognitive symptoms many parents do not expect. Anxiety, whether preexisting or newly developed, can further disrupt focus and memory. That is why, even when uninterrupted sleep is not realistic, small adjustments that support better-quality rest can still make a meaningful difference.

What to consider:

• Prioritize quality over quantity. Even short stretches of more restorative rest can help ease cognitive symptoms. Small adjustments, such as keeping the room cool (around 65°F to 70°F) or using a sleep mask to block blue light, which studies show can disrupt circadian rhythm, may help fragmented sleep windows feel more effective.
• Reduce constant input. “Removing unnecessary alarms or noise can help limit mental fatigue,” says Chelliah. When your brain is already juggling a lot, turning off your phone and muting notifications can help conserve mental energy and reduce unnecessary mental noise.
• Create default routines. Same breakfast, same grocery order, same walk route. “Predictability and simplifying decisions reduces decision fatigue,” says Chelliah.

Regulate Your Nervous System in Small, Doable Ways

Postpartum depression can alter how the brain responds to stress. Chelliah explains that changes in neurotransmitters and the body’s stress-response system can make focus and memory harder to access. The takeaway is simple. Supporting your nervous system, even in small moments, can make a meaningful difference.

What to consider:

• Engage your senses. Denis recommends a splash of cold water, humming, or playing a favorite song to interrupt overwhelm.
• Try gentle movements that don’t require motivation. “Stroller walks while the baby naps can improve circulation, mood, and stress levels,” says Chelliah.
• Use deep breathing as a reset. It increases oxygen flow and activates the parasympathetic nervous system, supporting emotional regulation and calming the stress response.
• Step outside or change rooms briefly. Even a short shift in environment can help your brain reset enough to get through the next task.
• Transition gently between tasks. “Before starting something that requires focus, spend a few minutes reading or listening to a podcast to bring the cognitive regions of the brain online,” says Moorehead.

Let Clarity Return Unevenly

“There is no right timeline for when someone should start trying to rebuild cognitive clarity,” says Denis. During this phase, she notes, even small tasks can feel insurmountable. Rather than focusing on “getting your brain back,” the goal is gentle re-engagement. In that process, Moorehead encourages curiosity over pressure. “Exploring interests in small doses, without the expectation of big deadlines, can be incredibly supportive,” she says. That may also mean adjusting expectations around what kinds of stimulation feel realistic right now.

What to consider:

• Low-stakes cognitive stimulation. Audiobooks during feeds, familiar music, or simple puzzles can gently reawaken focus without adding pressure.
• One anchor per day. Avoid trying to tackle a full list and concentrate on just one task that gives the day shape.
• Track without judgment. “Journaling just one good thing, when you can, may help you notice progress over time,” says Denis.
• Expect progress to be non-linear. Days when the fog lifts and then returns do not mean you are regressing. They are part of recovery.
• Let joy count as a win. “If something brings relief or interest, it’s doing important work,” says Moorehead.

Know When It’s Time To Reach Out For More Support

Some brain fog is expected postpartum, but symptoms that linger or worsen deserve attention. Denis notes that the “baby blues” typically ease within about two weeks as hormones stabilize. If sleep improves but cognitive or depressive symptoms do not, that is an important signal to reach out.

Chelliah adds that brain fog lasting beyond two weeks, interfering with daily life, or paired with intense overwhelm or distressing thoughts is a strong reason to seek professional support. And you do not have to wait until things feel unmanageable. “If brain fog is lowering mood, impacting joy, or interfering with daily life, that is a great time to reach out,” says Moorehead.

Postpartum brain fog can feel scary and isolating, but it is also understandable, and it is something people recover from. With the right support, fewer demands, and patience for a brain that has been through a lot, clarity often does return.

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First off, we see you. You’re doing so much right now, and you’re taking a moment to check in with yourself. With a new baby comes new routines, new responsibilities, and constant change. It is a major transition for both your body and your brain. In those early weeks, feeling tearful, anxious, overwhelmed, or simply not like yourself is very common, and for many parents, those feelings ease as hormones stabilize and sleep slowly returns.

Sometimes, that heavy fog doesn’t lift right away. The sadness lingers. The worry grows louder. Or you feel oddly disconnected from things that once brought you joy. You might wonder how you can love your baby so deeply and still feel numb, overwhelmed, or constantly on edge. When those feelings persist and begin to affect everyday life, it isn’t a personal failing. It’s a sign that something deeper may need care and attention.

For many new parents, that “something” is postpartum depression (PPD), a condition far more common than it is openly discussed. Research estimates that PPD affects roughly 10–17% of new mothers worldwide. But according to Lorain Moorehead, LCSW, PMH-C, a licensed clinical social worker, the reality may be even more widespread. “About one in five mothers are diagnosed,” she explains, “and it is estimated that 30%–50% are not diagnosed.” That disconnect between lived experience and diagnosis highlights how quietly PPD can emerge, and how many parents are navigating it without ever putting a name to what they are feeling.

If any of this feels uncomfortably familiar, know you’re not alone. Ahead, we break down the postpartum depression signs experts say are worth paying attention to and why early support can make a real difference.

When Symptoms Show Up — And Why They Can Be Confusing To Read

Many people assume PPD happens immediately after birth, but the signs don’t always show up right away. “Symptoms can start four to eight weeks after childbirth and may not show up until 10 months post birth,” says Dr. Anushka Chelliah, MD, a board-certified maternal-fetal medicine specialist. “Clinically, PPD is defined as depression that begins within the first 12 months postpartum,” says Moorehead.

And even when the calendar moves past that mark, the body and family system don’t snap into place overnight. If symptoms begin in that first year, they can linger as hormones, identity, and the division of labor continue to shift as the baby grows older. “Even the hormonal changes that come with weaning or stopping breastfeeding can throw things off again,” adds Moorehead.

Complicating things further is the whirlwind of early postpartum itself. Most new parents experience the so-called “baby blues,” which can include tearfulness, anxiety, mood swings, or feeling overwhelmed in the first two weeks. Postpartum depression stands out by its duration and its impact on daily life. “Symptoms of postpartum depression tend to be more persistent and intrusive,” Chelliah explains.

Moorehead notes that some anxiety or intrusive thoughts can be normal in newborn care, but PPD becomes more likely “when it interferes with daily life, when the parent does not feel they are able to bond with their baby, when they don’t have feeling toward their baby, or the baby consumes all of their thoughts to the point of having limited joy.”

What PPD Can Actually Feel Like

Postpartum depression doesn’t look the same for everyone. It often shows up as a mix of emotional, mental, and physical symptoms that vary from person to person. Below are some of the ways it commonly appears:

1. You’re Past The Point of “Sad”

Sadness is absolutely a valid part of PPD, but it’s rarely the whole picture. Chelliah lists anxiety, tearfulness, guilt, hopelessness, panic, and feeling overwhelmed as common experiences. Moorehead notes that parents may also feel “emptiness, numbness, loss of interest or pleasure, feeling guilty or ‘less than,’ feeling like a bad mom, decreased frustration tolerance, and fatigue.”

2. You’re Struggling To Focus

It’s easy to chalk up new-parent forgetfulness or mental fog to sleepless nights, but cognition is an area where PPD can take hold. According to Chelliah, postpartum depression can manifest as “inability to concentrate or focus on activities, feeling overwhelmed, and poor decision making.” Many people describe getting stuck in cycles of rumination, spending hours worrying, or feeling mentally frozen in ways that make even simple tasks feel hard to start.

3. You’re Feeling Different In Your Own Skin

Moorehead notes that “weight gain, withdrawing from family and friends, and low energy” are often brushed off because they look a lot like the regular new-parent life. You’re in survival mode, your body is recalibrating, and no one expects you to be the life of the party at six weeks postpartum. However, if these changes seem uncharacteristic of you or persist long after the newborn fog lifts, they may need further attention.

4. You’re Not Connected To The Baby

While hormones play a role, Moorehead says routine and identity upheaval play a part in how PPD affects bonding: “Feeling a strong ambivalence about loving the baby but missing the activities and life and body that existed before the baby can be very discouraging.” Chelliah adds that anxiety and sadness can “interfere with bonding and socialization,” even when love and care are present.

When To Reach Out (And Why It’s Not A Personal Failing)

Postpartum depression can affect anyone, though certain factors can increase the likelihood of developing it. These include a personal history of depression or anxiety, depression during pregnancy, thyroid disorders, high levels of stress after birth, neonatal complications, or limited social support. None of these risk factors reflect a parent’s competence or desire to care for their child. They are medical and environmental realities, not personal shortcomings. “With the right treatment and support, the majority of women move through this,” says Chelliah.

If you’re unsure whether what you’re feeling is “bad enough” to count as PPD, clinicians suggest paying attention to persistence and impact. Chelliah notes that if symptoms “persist after two weeks or become intrusive in the ability to complete activities of daily living or are involved with thoughts of hurting yourself or others, you need to seek medical attention.”

Even without a diagnosis, Moorehead stresses that support is justified: “It doesn’t matter if you have clinical PPD or simply feel like you’re ready to have support. You deserve to have support.”

What holds true for nearly every parent experiencing postpartum depression is this: it is common, it is treatable, and you are far from alone in navigating it.

Presented by BDG Studios

I have one gift hack, and it’s always worked well for me: When you can’t figure out what to give someone, go retro. A gift from their childhood, an item they say they always wanted but never got, a gift that gives them that warm vintage holiday vibe — you can honestly find a million things. Romper’s A La Cart this year is all about nostalgic gifts. Gifts that remind you of your childhood Christmas, gifts that you’re excited to give someone you love, gifts that just give you that warm happy feeling — and gifts that aren’t already on 8,000 other gift guides.

No matter what you’re looking for, from toys for kids to bikes and board games, this nostalgia gift list has you covered. Many of these would make a great family gift or a gift to give siblings to share, and if you’ve ever wondered what on earth to get your husband or dad (they do not want whiskey stones, I asked them), this list can offer some inspiration. Take a step back to the ‘80s and ‘90s Christmases, when you circled what you wanted in a Sears Wish Book and not one parent asked you to pose for a photo for Instagram. (They just set up the camcorder for the entire present-opening portion instead.)

A Handheld Blast From The Past

ModRetro Chromatic + Tetris Bundle

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Nothing filled me with joy more as a kid than my Game Boy, and ModRetro has created the ultimate blast-from-the-past gift with the Chromatic. Compatible with all Game Boy and Game Boy Color cartridges, Chromatic is pure dopamine in handheld game form. It charges either with a USB cord or batteries (bless) and the Chromatic also comes with some original Chromatic games, along with old favorites like Tetris. It’s honestly just such a great gift and perfect for the person who wants to spend less time on their phone.

A Competitive Guessing Game For Pokémon-Loving Families

Pokémon Trainer Expert Electronic Guessing Board Game

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If you grew up loving Pokémon and your kid is into them now, this Pokémon Trainer board game is such a fun one to play together. There are two modes of difficulty on the board so it can grow with you as you begin to learn the clues. The game master will call out clues, and the person who guesses which Pokémon it’s hinting at first scores the points.

The LEGO Set That Never Says Die

The Goonies LEGO Set

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Hey, you guys! LEGO never misses, and The Goonies LEGO set is such a great gift for any Goonies fan. The detail is absolutely incredible, with over 2,900 pieces and 12 minifigures. It’s intended for LEGO fans aged 18 and up, but it could also be an amazing family project to work on.

A Wi-Fi Landline To Connect The Old Fashioned Way

Tin Can

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My mom friends and I all want to get our kids these Tin Can phones so they can call each other and their grandparents without screens, just like in ye olden days. Can’t you feel the curly phone cord twirling around your index finger right now? Plus, they’re so cute and colorful, this is a “toy” I’d actually love to see around my house. Tin Can users can call each other for free, or it’s $9.99 a month to call other kinds of phones (but they can only dial contacts you’ve pre-approved — yay safety).

A Board Game Version Of Every Millennial’s Favorite Computer Game

The Sims Board Game

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There are few things more delightful than The Sims, so why not gift (with actual dollars, not Simoleons) your favorite Sims fan The Sims board game? For players ages 12 and up, you can jump right into the neighborhood and create a whole journey, with aspirations, iconic Sims characters, and more. This is perfect for a nostalgic family game night, and the artwork on the game itself will make you feel like a 15-year-old staying up late on the computer again.

A Modern Take On Twister

Twangled Game

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If you want screen-free, whole-family fun, Twangled looks like the way to go. Everyone’s hands will be occupied by giant rubber bands, and you kick the spinner with your foot to progressively tie yourself into a massive knot. Then, you’ll have to work together to untangle your human bowtie.

A Surprisingly Fun Sticker Maker

Educational Insights Shaker Sticker Maker

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My 4-year-old, my nieces (who are 5, 6, and 12), and I have all enjoyed playing with this sticker maker. You get to choose the size, cute animal backing, and confetti filler. It’s a great option for families with kids in a wide range of ages. The mechanics of sticker making are just complex enough to require their full attention, but easy enough to get the hang of in one or two tries. I love that it’s totally analog and requires zero batteries.

An American Girl With An Extremely Nostalgic Twist

American Girl Raquel Reyes — Girl of the Year 2026

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Gifting someone you love an American Girl doll is nostalgic enough, but if you gift the Girl of the Year 2026 Raquel Reyes? Well, you’re promising an added bonus of nostalgia. Raquel’s great-great-grandmother is none other than Samantha Parkington. Even Raquel’s dress is reminiscent of Samantha Parkington’s original look, and Raquel’s story includes a sweet dive into her family tree, giving you all the vintage vibes.

The World’s Coolest Watch

Casio G-SHOCK "Cool Eyes" Cool Watch

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You remember G-SHOCK watches? Well they’re back, and cooler than ever. With a retro analog watchface and fun bright colors, the G-SHOCK “Cool Eyes” Cool Watch is going to make you feel like you stepped right back in time. Built for sports and outdoor activities, this is a great gift for the live-fast-and-hard person in your life.

A Stretch Armstrong Version Of Your Favorite Alien

Stitch Stretch Armstrong

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Thanks to the live-action Lilo & Stitch movie, Stitch is totally back this holiday season. But you can give him even more of a nostalgic air by gifting the Stretch Armstrong version of Stitch. I vividly remember my little brother receiving his Stretch Armstrong on a perfect ‘90s Christmas morning, and knowing I can give my own nephew one of these — and we can pull it down the hall to see how far it actually goes before one of us gets smacked in the face — is kind of the best.

A Hair Styling Set For The Ultimate ~Kewl~ Girl

Make it Real: Snap 'N Glam Hair Styling Set

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Every cool girl I knew in the ‘90s had one of those twisty hair things that added jewels and gems and put their hair into perfect little twists, and now you can have some of that nostalgia back with the Make It Real: Snap ‘N Glam Hair Styling Set. With 100 different bead clips, from butterflies and gems to flowers, kids can mix and match and easily add them to their own hair.

A Boxed Set For Your Favorite Bow Girl

The Puffin In Bloom Book Collection

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Pretty books are always a win, but the Rifle Paper Co. In Bloom book collection is the perfect nostalgic gift for the Big Bow Girls in your life. Featuring Heidi, A Little Princess, Little Women, and Anne of Green Gables, each features a gorgeous cover and design that will make you want to crawl into a cozy cottage and relive your bookworm childhood.

A Revived Mini Skateboard For Sk8r Bois & Girls

Tech Deck Shred N' Blast Sk8board

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My little brother had millions of those tiny Tech Deck skateboards in the ‘90s, and I love the brand’s revived version with the Tech Deck Shred N’ Blast Skateboard. For sk8rs ages 6 and up, this toy can send your skateboard into tricks up to six feet high, and the ramp itself can be mixed into other Tech Deck accessories and playsets.

The ‘80s Night-Night Buddy

Pillow People: Window Rattler Plush

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The way my entire body responded to seeing that Pillow Pals are back — I’ll never have the words to fully explain. Pillow Pals were huge in the ‘80s and featured several different varieties, but I was always partial to Window Rattler, the plush both my sister and I (and D.J. Tanner on Full House) snuggled with.

A Build-Your-Own-Dollhouse For Miniature Lovers

Suite Spaces: Living Room Pack

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The minute I saw these Suite Spaces collections, I thought about the old American Girl Mini Rooms, where you could buy all the pieces to create your own little space. The Suite Spaces collection is a lot like that, featuring living room packs, bedroom packs, bathroom packs, and more. Each pack comes with everything you need to create your own little miniature room of your dreams, and then all of them can stack together to make your very own dollhouse.

A Baby Doll That Will Last Forever

BABY Born Princess Baby Doll

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I still have my BABY Born doll from when I was a kid, and oh how I fell in love with her the Christmas I opened her under the tree. I remember mixing the little packets of food — all that gritty orange stuff — to feed her and feeling like I had hit the lottery. Give back some of that joy with the new BABY Born Princess Collection. While this little one doesn’t eat any food, she does come with a bottle and the perfect princess outfit. Her eyes close when you lay her down, and it really feels like a callback to simple baby dolls and how much we all loved them. (Also, it’s BABY Born, so it’ll last forever.)

An ‘80s Movie Wrapped Up In An ‘80s Toy

Polly Pocket 'Back to the Future' Compact

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Great Scott! Back to the Future is a classic for a reason — it’s one of the best movies ever made — and is now forever immortalized in another classic, retro brand: Polly Pocket. These two fandoms combining is beyond good, and whether the Back to the Future fan in your life played with Polly Pockets or not, this is an ultimate nostalgia gift.

A Throw-Back Video Game

Mortal Kombat Legacy Kollection

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This is literally the only thing my 40-year-old husband (who never knows what he wants for a gift) has asked for this Christmas, so you know Mortal Kombat Legacy Kollection is going to be a smash hit. Not only does this edition include the arcade versions of Mortal Kombat, but it also includes the Sega and Super NES system versions, along with some rare Game Boy editions and more. It’s so fun for anyone who grew up getting video games under the tree, and it’s going to be a major walk down memory lane on Christmas morning.

The Perfect Pair Of Retro Nikes

Stranger Things x Nike Dunk Low 'Phantom'

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Vintage sneakers have been a thing for a while, but the new Stranger Things x Nike collection takes it to an entirely new level with the new Nike Dunk Low ‘Phantom’ pair. These look exactly like the ones worn in Stranger Things, down to the “dirty” and used vibe, and are a must for any retro sneakerheads or fans of the ‘80s.

An Iconic Board Game For The Whole Family

Don't Wake Daddy Board Game

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I can still vividly remember the commercial for the Don’t Wake Daddy board game, and I’m thrilled the game is still around. While Dad has had a bit of an upgrade — I do miss his sleeping cap — this is a great gift for the game enthusiasts in your family, or even to gift a sibling who remembers playing it with you.

A Toddler-Friendly American Girl Doll

My First Addy Doll & Board Book

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Truly, there was nothing like circling every American Girl item in the catalogue for your Christmas wish list, but now the brand is even making it so your littlest American Girls can fall in love with both the dolls and their sweet stories. The My First Addy Doll & Board Book set features Addy Walker, the historical American Girl who grew up in 1864 Philadelphia, as a plush and cuddly doll with her own board book version of her Meet Addy story. It’s a must if you have a little one in your life who needs to be introduced to American Girl, or if you know someone who would just appreciate a little squeeze from a soft friend.

An Updated Version Of Your Favorite Brain Teaser

Rubik's Pulse Cube

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Everybody had a Rubik’s Cube at some point, right? Whether you ever figured it out or not doesn’t matter, but the updated Rubik’s Pulse Cube is a fun, updated version of everyone’s favorite brain teaser. This one lights up, pulsing to a timer so that you can try and solve the puzzle before the lights go out. It’s super fun and a great gift for anybody who has ever given a little twist on a Rubik’s Cube.

The Ultimate ‘80s Rockstar Fashion Doll

Jem & The Holograms Fashion Doll

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I know, you can hear the theme song already. So many grew up with Jem and the Holograms on TV, so why not bring back some of that joy and nostalgia with the Jem and the Holograms fashion doll? Whether you’re going to keep it for your own personal shelf collection or want it to play with your kids, this is such a fun gift.

The Most Retro Feel-Good Bicycle

Beaumont City Bike

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There was nothing better than seeing a bicycle under the Christmas tree, and I am forever looking for that magical high. Retrospec has a ton of fun things that give similar vibes, but nothing hits it quite as well as the Beaumont City Bike. No e-bike stuff here, just a classic, 7-speed bicycle that’s built to last. With the rear rack, you can even have some storage for taking along whatever you need on the ride.

A Relatable Trivia Game For The Holidays

Brass Monkey Poorly Explained Movies — Holiday Edition

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I love playing trivia with family and friends, but so many trivia options feel a little too heavy. Brass Monkey’s Poorly Explained Movies - Holiday Edition is so ridiculously fun. It’s just a great guessing game, but the clues are things like “an orphan sings to a woman taking a shower,” and the answer is Elf. So fun to play in a group, and so fun to realize everybody else thinks about movies just like you do.

The Best Playset For Those Who Had Their Own Entrance Music

Mattel WWE Money in the Bank Cash-in Ring Playset

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I grew up with professional wrestling, so every new WWE playset makes me want to jump right back into watching some pay-per-view and falling for all those character storylines. The Mattel WWE Money in the Bank playset comes with everything needed to reenact some iconic WWE moments. (It would also look great just displayed on a shelf.)

The Perfect Retro Doll

Rainbow Brite 12" Plush Doll

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There have been a lot of Rainbow Brite variations and merch over the years, but I’m so obsessed with this classic, incredibly retro Rainbow Brite 12” plush doll. Created just like the doll from the ‘80s, the body is plush with a vinyl head and yellow yarn hair. It has no frills or fuss — just like the perfect Rainbow Brite doll.

There’s a good chance that if you’re a mom to young kids, you know who Jenni “JWoww” Farley is. Since her days fist-pumping on screen, the reality TV OG — now a mom of two — has traded club nights for bedtime stories. But her signature unapologetic confidence and trademark bling swagger are still front and center.

So, it only makes sense that she’s bringing that same energy to your closet with the launch of her SHEIN x JWoww Family Collection. With looks that are chic, practical, and made for all the moms who still love to serve, consider your fall fashion leveled up.

If this collab is saying one thing, it’s this: you can still be “that girl” even with a couple of tiny humans running around. From coordinating lounge knits to sleek coats, this collection is full of classic statement pieces that refuse to blend into the corn maze. And the looks aren’t just for mom. The collection boasts an array of tween boy and girl styles that will make the whole family look effortlessly pulled together.

So, grab your littles, bundle up, and check out this round-up of a few of our favorite pieces, from this ribbed long sleeve sweater for effortless layering to the faux leather skirt that adds instant edge — and even a few trendy pieces your kids are sure to wear on repeat.

Women’s Solid Color Mermaid Hem Fitted Knit Dress

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Women’s Brown Double-Breasted Wool Coat

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Women’s Barrel-Leg Jeans

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Women’s Ribbed Long Sleeve Sweater

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Women's High-Waist Pearl Embellished Wide-Leg Jeans

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Women's Fitted Knit Dress

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Women’s PU Leather A-Line Skirt

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Women’s Minimalist Wool-Blend Sweater and Knit Pants Set

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Women's Straight-Leg Fringe Trim Jeans

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Women's Ribbed Contrast Seam Lounge Set

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Women's Gingham Button-Front Pajama Set

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Tween Boy Distressed Denim Set

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Tween Boy Cotton Padded Baseball Jacket

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Tween Girl Polo Sweatshirt

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Tween Girl Asymmetric Flared Pants Set

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Tween Girl Cable-Knit Sweater Dress

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Tween Girl Star Hollow-Knit Sweater

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Tween Girl 2-in-1 Shirt Top

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Our kids’ school winter vacation schedule is a little wonky; they have a few long weekends off, but then we don’t get a real break till March. It’s not quite enough to go somewhere far away, but when you’re trapped inside with two active boys, those three-day weekends at home feel long. A few years ago, I went on a hunt to find a way to break up that interminable winter slog, to silence the ever-present voices of my sons: “Mom, there’s nothing to do!” (I know there’s nothing to do! It’s freezing out, most team sports are on pause, and by Sunday afternoons the siren call of the iPad becomes deafening to the point of no return.)

I researched. I asked around. Eventually, a friend recommended Mohonk Mountain House, a historic resort that’s about a two-hour drive from New York City. We decided to give it a go. We haven’t looked back.

The place has a kind of old school Catskills-vibe, like if Dirty Dancing met a haunted gothic novel. You can leave after school on a Friday and, after driving up an ear-popping mountain pass, arrive at the enormous, Victorian castle-esque building in time for dinner. The place was founded in 1869, and the aesthetic leans into that history (wood everything, old photographs of Mohonk lining the walls; traditional décor). It’s kind of like The Shining if The Shining was cozy instead of creepy, and the kids, in particular, think it’s very cool.

Mohonk is an all-inclusive resort, so the room rate covers food (but not alcohol). There are set times for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and the main dining room has lovely views of the mountain and surrounding area. The food is…plentiful. It comes quickly. Breakfast and lunch include buffets the size of a small country. You won’t go hungry at Mohonk Mountain House, that I promise. I’ve never been on a cruise, but I assume that it’s kind of like high-end cruise fare, which isn’t an insult. This is a place that’s best for families. In and out, I say! Let’s get it done with before the kids start asking to play games on our phones.

Most critically, there is a lot to do during the day. There is a heated indoor pool, which my kids love to swim in, and a soothing spa, where you can get facials and massages. There is snow tubing, which my sons enjoy almost as much as I do. There’s a private ice-skating rink with skate rentals included. You can hike up the mountain with spikes, or do cross country skiing, or snowshoeing as a family. The grounds are picturesque and winter wonderland-y and every afternoon there’s an open fire pit where you can roast a marshmallow (or five, if you’re my 7-year-old). There are evening activities, like movies and music and magicians. Last year, we tried indoor archery for the first time. I hit a bullseye. There is no more to that story. I just wanted to share. And the service is family oriented and helpful. A couple of years ago, my younger son got a horrible stomach virus the night we arrived at Mohonk. He was so sick that we ended up calling the in-house doctor at the hotel, who came right away and said we should go to the nearby hospital to be safe. So my husband sped our car down the dark mountain road while I held my little retching son in the front seat, our other son strapped into the back. Everything was fine, eventually — the hospital was great, our son got fluids, and we stayed until he finally stopped vomiting his brains out. We got back to Mohonk at 3am, exhausted and stressed, and saw that management had put lovely baskets in our room filled with get-better stuffed animals, fresh fruit and snacks, and an array of games for the kids. They continually checked in on us until we left the following day, and all things considered, we had an okay time! Oh, the wonders of traveling with children.

The best part about Mohonk, hands down, is that every time we go there it snows. There’s like some magical timer that knows we’ve arrived, and waking up to the mountain blanketed in white is such a treat for the kids. I can’t guarantee that it’ll happen for you, but if you’d like to coordinate dates with me, just let me know! It never fails.I feel lucky that our family found this place. It’s so good for kids. We usually arrive in a kind of winter funk and leave with a rosy glow, just enough to get me through until spring. Unsurprisingly, Mohonk has a kind of cult following—families return year after year, and we’ve now gone enough times to recognize people, giving them friendly nods on the trails or the ice rink or while going back for a third piece of cake at the buffet. Winter is coming, which as a mom feels daunting, but at least I have Mohonk to look forward to. Another bullseye is in my future.

Emma Rosenblum is the national bestselling author of Bad Summer People, Very Bad Company, and the upcoming Mean Moms (July, 2025). She's the former chief content officer at Bustle Digital Group, overseeing content and strategy for BDG’s editorial portfolios. Prior to BDG, Emma served as the executive editor of ELLE. Previously Rosenblum was a senior editor at Bloomberg Businessweek, and before that a senior editor at Glamour. She began her career at New York magazine. She lives in New York City, with her husband and two sons.

As much as I love the idea of a vacation with my family, it’s no secret that traveling with kids — even to a beachside destination — isn’t always as relaxing as the adults involved would like it to be. Many of my memories from tropical getaways past involve trying not to annoy the childless people at the pool with my splashing toddlers, or my husband and I struggling to watch a show without waking our kids, each using one ear bud and whispering as music wafted in from a party all the cool people were enjoying.

Well, my fellow parents: I’m thrilled to report that there’s actually a better way to vacay. Beaches Resorts has leveled up the game for parents and kids alike with lush, all-inclusive resorts on the most beautiful stretches of the Caribbean. At Beaches Negril and Beaches Turks & Caicos — plus Beaches Turks & Caicos’ all-new Treasure Beach village — everything from childcare to food to entertainment is fully covered, so you can focus on savoring each minute of your trip. With fun-filled activities designed for kids from tots to teens, grown-ups get to actually enjoy their own stays, too! And did I mention family suites with separate bedrooms and bathrooms? Now that’s what I call island paradise.

Here are just a few of the thoughtful features and one-of-a-kind details that make Beaches Resorts the perfect spot for an unforgettable family adventure.

1. Next-Level Care For Kids

The all-inclusive Kids Camp, which runs from 8 am to 9 pm (yup, you heard me) has non-stop activities tailored for five different age groups, from babies to teenagers. Beaches Resorts’ exclusive partnership with Sesame Street means that kiddos can take part in parades, see stage shows, and make unforgettable one-on-one memories with their favorite characters.

Your crew can expect dedicated game rooms and lounges for teens, waters ports like snorkeling, kayaking, and a special kids’ scuba diving program with certified instructors, private nannies available on call, and, oh yes, the all-inclusive Pirate’s Island waterparks at Beaches Turks & Caicos. Expect: kid-friendly pools, water slides, a lazy river, and a swim-up soda bar.

Beaches Resorts is also the first resort company in the world to be certified as autism-friendly. That means specialized service and custom dining and activity options so everyone can participate and make memories together.

2. 24/7 Pampering For Parents

As a local, family-owned business, Beaches Resorts takes incredible care to anticipate everyone’s needs, especially overworked caregivers in need of a little R&R. That means special perks for parents like luxury spa services, adults-only dinners, and local tours to indulge in while the kids have the time of their lives at camp.

There’s also private personal training if you feel like lifting a finger, and personal butler service if you don’t. Because not needing to get up from your cabana chair to run a decadent bubble bath is a vacation goal if I’ve ever heard one.

3. Thoughtful Touches For Every Guest

Beaches Resorts has enough food and drink options to tantalize everyone’s taste buds. With 20 restaurants, 3 food trucks, and 17 bars at Beaches Turks & Caicos, plus 13 options ranging from casual seaside snack shacks to fine sit-down dining at Beaches Negril, the culinary variety and creativity is unmatched. Picky eater? Don’t know her.

Getting to your island home away from home can add up — especially when you’re toting small passengers. The Tiny Traveler’s First Passport offer gives families a $135 resort credit per child traveling with a passport for the first time, essentially reimbursing the application fee so you can spend it on memory-making activities like a family photo shoot or private dining experience.

4. Suite Surprises

If you’ve ever had to share a king-sized bed with multiple children, Beaches Resorts’ family suites are about to be your wildest dream come true. Choose from spacious accommodations designed with bigger groups in mind, with separate bedrooms featuring bunk beds, or private villas available for larger family stays complete with your very own pool and a dedicated butler service committed to making sure all your families’ needs are met (think: reservations, room service, and more).

5. Holiday Magic

As if Beaches Resorts didn’t roll out enough red carpet for families already, it also happens to be the official Caribbean vacation for Elf on the Shelf, which means guests who book stays during the holiday season this year (and next year if you like to plan ahead!) can enjoy island-style celebrations with an extra sprinkle of festive fun. Think special soirees, holiday movie nights under the stars, turndown service for humans and elves alike, and a one-of-a kind Elf on the Shelf suite.

So if you’re looking for an idyllic, all-inclusive getaway at a place where guests are treated like family and kids are not only welcomed but celebrated, let Beaches Resorts make it easy. Your toughest choice? Which resort to explore first.

Picking the right holiday gifts for the kiddos on your list is a guessing game. Which ones are still into stuffed animals? Who only wants “big kid” stuff now in spite of their single-digit age? Even the most plugged-in grown-up can use a little guidance — whether you’re buying for your own kids, your nieces and nephews, or the little ones who call you Auntie even though you’re technically just mom’s bestie. Luckily, The Toy Insider just released their 2025 Holiday Gift Guide and it’s got all the recommendations you’re looking for.

The Toy Insider team tests the buzziest toys all year, and only the best ones make the cut. That means their Holiday Gift Guide is packed with toys that spark imagination, encourage creativity, and deliver the kind of instant joy that’ll make you the favorite adult of any tiny human. They’ve got interactive pets, snuggly plushies, epic play sets, and rideable dream machines will light up faces like a string of twinkle lights.

So, before you head to the nearest megastore to panic-shop, peep some of the highlights from The Toy Insider 2025 Holiday Gift Guide. It’ll make shopping so easy that wrapping will feel like a fun craft project instead of a chore.

1. Disney Princess 24V Princess Carriage

Get your little royal rolling around around in fairytale style with this motorized princess carriage. It runs for up to 45 minutes on one charge and can hit speeds up to 4.5 mph. “Dream come true” vibes!

Disney Princess 24V Princess Carriage

Dynacraft Wheels -

2. Bluey Mini Music Player

Invite everyone’s favorite four-legged friends to the dance party! This mini music player has four built-in tracks and a light-up Bluey graphic that flashes to the beat of the music. It also features “musical statues,” a game in which kids dance when the music plays, and turn into a statues when it stops.

Bluey Mini Music Player

Ekids -

3. Nano-Mals Interactive Pets

Discover a world of fashionable, pocket-sized pets with Nano-Mals. These interactive pets feature an electric heart meter that communicates their needs to their young caregivers. The more the pets are played with and cared for, the more interactions they unlock. It’s equal parts empathy training and style statement.

Nano-Mals Interactive Pets

Hasbro -

4. Squishpillow Firm Bed Pillow

Add a touch of fun (and maximum comfort) to any kid’s sleep space with these Squishmallow-inspired bed pillows. With six different Squishmallows patterns to choose from, this pillow and pillowcase line brings all of the snoozy snuggles.

Squishpillow Firm Bed Pillow

Jazwares -

5. Disney Ultimate Stitch Interactive Feature Plush

Meet your little one’s new favorite sidekick. Inspired by the live-action film, this Stitch plush has more than 100 sounds and movements. Kids can press Stitch’s belly, hands, tongue, and nose, then watch as he sings, dances, speaks, and more.

Disney Ultimate Stitch Interactive Feature Plush

Just Play -

6. LEGO Duplo Interactive Adventure Train

Playtime stays on track with this buildable train set featuring lights, sounds, and customization options. Toddlers can drive the train, and parents can find new ways to build with the LEGO Duplo Interactive Trains app. All aboard!

Lego Duplo Interactive Adventure Train

The Lego Group -

7. Hot Wheels City Ultimate Dual Dragon Transporter

Turn every floor into a high-octane speedway. This dual dragon hauler transforms into a two-lane racetrack and includes two dragons that eat, launch, and race Hot Wheels cars. Each one also comes with a 1:64-scale vehicle, plus stores more than 20 cars.

Hot Wheels City Ultimate Dual Dragon Transporter

Mattel -

8. Melissa & Doug Sort Stock, And Select Beauty Kiosk Play Set

For the little beauty content creator in training. This vending machine play set dispenses wooden beauty products for kids to organize and shelve. Using matching and recognition skills, kids can sort the beauty products by color in the machine and dispense them with buttons and matching coins. It includes 24 pieces, from wooden cosmetics to a reusable activity card.

Melissa & Doug Sort, Stock, And Select Beauty Kiosk Play Set

Melissa & Doug -

9. Bratz Stylin’ Dolls

Your childhood fashion icons are back and bolder than ever. These articulated fashion dolls feature bold new outfits, matching jewelry, and long, brushable hair. Each comes with an oversized kids’ T-shirt, featuring the same graphic design as the doll’s top.

Bratz Stylin' Dolls

MGA Entertainment -

10. Bluey Supermarket Play Set

This play set has everything: three stories, four play areas, special sounds from the show, 15 play pieces, and exclusive Bluey and Bingo figures. Your kid can restock shelves, beep through checkout, and recreate their favorite episodes! Big Bluey energy, one adorable play set.

Bluey Supermarket Playset

Moose Toys -

11. Sonic The Hedgehog - Sonic Racing Crossworlds R/C Monster Truck

No one knows speed like everyone’s favorite g-force groundling! This remote control car takes fun to the next level with working lights, all-terrain tires, and an epic flame paint job. Whether zooming around the backyard or doing donuts in the den, this monster truck rides fast, smooth, and interference-free.

Sonic The Hedgehog - Sonic Racing Crossworlds R/C Monster Truck

NKOK -

12. Paw Patrol Fire Rescue Rapid Reload Fire Truck

No job too big, no pup too small! Marshall’s firetruck comes with a built-in projectile launcher for rapid-fire water spurts. Kids can drop down the ladder to quickly reload the launcher, and the rear door opens to release a mini vehicle.

Paw Patrol Fire Rescue Rapid Reload Fire Truck

Spin Master -

13. Winx Club Fairy Fashion Doll

Magic, friendship, and fashion take flight with this set of Winx Club Fairy Fashion Dolls inspired by the new TV series. The pack features six 10.5-inch dolls: Bloom, Stella, Tecna, Aisha, Flora, and Musa. Perfect for fans old and new, these fairies are ready to inspire imaginative play and magical storytelling.

Winx Club Fairy Fashion Doll

Playmates Toys -

14. Marshmallow Madness

Game night just got sweeter… and a bit stickier. This game challenges players to pick up and eat marshmallows using a pair of tiny hands. The player who eats the most marshmallows during their turn wins the game.

Marshmallow Madness

Playmonster -

15. Booksy: The Disney Edition 1-Pack Window Box

Bring story time to life with Booksy: The Disney Edition. Each Booksy figurine holds a tiny 40-page mini storybook for young readers to discover. Kids can collect or choose from Disney’s Stitch, Moana, Elsa, and Simba.

Booksy: The Disney Edition 1 Pack Window Box

PMI Kids' World -

16. Ms. Rachel Spin Along Learning Wheel

Learning gets a playful and positive twist with the familiar voice of Ms. Rachel. Toddlers can turn the wheel to practice mouth movements and color recognition, discover animals and their sounds, and more. The toy features three play modes and interactive prompts guided by their favorite overall-clad buddy.

Ms. Rachel Spin Along Learning Wheel

Spin Master -

17. Blast And Roar Toothless Mask

Get fired up for the live-action How to Train Your Dragon with this interactive mask! Kids can become the fearsome Night Fury with plasma blast lights, sounds, and even a water mister. Perfect for some playful surprises.

Blast And Roar Toothless Mask

Spinmaster -

18. Pokémon Trading Card Game: Mega Evolution Elite Trainer Box

Whether your kid is a serious player or just starting their collection, this box delivers hours of excitement. Mega Evolution Pokémon like Mega Lucario ex and Mega Gardevoir ex return in this Trainer Box. Players and collectors can expand their sets with powerful Pokémon, new artwork, and more.

Pokémon Trading Card Game: Mega Evolution Elite Trainer Box

The Pokémon Co. -

19. Pets Alive Polly The Magic Bird

Complete your magical menagerie with Polly the Magic Bird! At the tap of a wand, this interactive bird flutters to life, singing, moving, and even repeating what you say. The set includes Polly in her curtained birdcage, a hatching baby bird, a magic wand, and a guidebook containing lots of enchanting magic tricks.

Pets Alive Polly The Magic Bird

Zuru -

20. Chompsaw

This kid-safe power tool makes cutting cardboard easy. Kids can use it to transform cardboard scraps into forts, DIY costumes, educational dioramas, and other creative projects. It gives them hands-on control over their projects and the satisfaction of saying, “I made that,” no grown-up tools required.

Chompsaw

Chompshop -

For more hot toys for kids of all ages, check out The Toy Insider's 2025 Holiday Gift Guide and follow @thetoyinsider on social media!

Leading up to the birth of my first child, I remember having two main things on my mind: the fear of childbirth and dreading sleepless nights. And, let’s be clear — those were both valid concerns. However, along with the feedings and diaper changes to interrupt my sleep, I also found myself lying awake with another sense of dread: realizing just how much money you end up paying for a newborn baby.

A recent BabyCenter survey found that parents can expect to spend $20,384 on baby-related costs in the first year of their kid's life (which, in “no, duh” news, also contributed to 89% of moms saying finances impacted their mental health). It’s a stress I was reminded of all over again as we welcomed our second kid this year.

The cost of bringing a newborn into the world goes far beyond baby gear. You’re looking at things like insurance, hospital bills, college savings, and more. According to the experts, these are the major financial things to plan for when you have a newborn.

Budget for essentials: hospital bills, health insurance, and basic needs

Budgeting for the essentials is key when it comes to not going into sticker shock when your newborn arrives. According to Michelle Paiva of The Finance Therapist, some of the basics worth saving for are "health insurance costs, hospital bills, and a little cushion for unexpected doctor visits." You'll have 30 to 60 days after your child's birth to register them for health insurance during a Special Enrollment Period (because you didn't have enough going on, right?).

From there, diapers, clothing, cribs, car seats, and feeding supplies will make up the core of your first major purchases. "If you can, start a small savings account for your baby’s future — it doesn’t matter if it’s $10 at a time; the habit itself builds confidence."

Paiva recommends saving up for three to six months of basic expenses as a goal. However, if that seems high, something is always better than nothing. "Even $1,000 tucked away can give you breathing room,” she says. “What matters most is not a magic number — it’s having a plan and knowing you can adjust as you go."

All the insurance

Life insurance for yourself and your partner can help protect your family, putting financial resources in place if (knock on wood) anything were to happen to either of you.

Disability insurance is another consideration, as it provides financial support if one or both parents are unable to work due to a severe illness or injury. Depending on your plan, this can help cover essentials like mortgage, childcare, and household expenses for a certain period of time.

Legal stuff: savings account, a trust, updated will

Sophoan Prak, a certified financial planner at Vanguard, shared the importance of estate planning and guardianship when welcoming a newborn to your family.

“Estate planning entails the creation of legal documents to specify your wishes for your assets in the event of your passing or inability to make decisions for yourself,” Prak shares. “It can involve setting up a trust, selecting beneficiaries for retirement accounts and life insurance policies, and how you transfer ownership of your assets. For underage children, it’s crucial to designate a guardian who can raise your child if you’re unable.”

Childcare costs

"Childcare is often the biggest shock, sometimes costing as much as a mortgage,” Paiva explains. I know for my family, having two working parents required finding childcare options early — and I’m likely not the first person to stress how expensive it can be. The cost of our daycare for two kids is not far off from the majority of my salary, something my husband and I had to account for and plan for when deciding whether I should stay at home or not.

College savings

While not all kids may choose to pursue college after high school graduation, it’s never a bad idea to have money set aside for if they do.

"Start investing in your child’s future goals now,” Prak advises. “While school might feel far off, it will be here before you know it. Opening a 529 savings plan, which is a tax-advantaged savings account, can be a great way to get a head start on saving for your child’s education. These accounts offer tax benefits, high contribution limits, easy gifting options, and flexibility — in fact, you can utilize a 529 for K-12 expenses, trade school tuition, college expenses, including room and board, and even for studying abroad.”

Unexpected costs

According to Prak, more than half of parents report spending $1,000 or more annually on unexpected costs. In my personal experience, that number has probably been even higher. From unexpected hospital visits to supplies we didn’t know we needed (who knew an infant could be so picky with a bottle type?), we spent a lot more in our first year than we had planned to.

“Consider saving a minimum of $2,000 or at least half a month of expenses for spending shocks, and 3-6 months’ worth of expenses — if you can swing saving a larger sum — in case of income loss,” Prak recommends.

The hidden cost of convenience

Along with unexpected costs, there’s what Paiva calls the “hidden cost of convenience.”

As for what this is, it includes “...ordering meals or paying for help when you are exhausted,” Paiva explains. “These are not failures; they are part of adapting to life with a newborn. Don't forget that meal planning, accepting dinner from friends and family, and budgeting are all ways to cut food costs.”

If you’re ever trying to get to the bottom of something, enlist the help of a preschooler. After all, they’ve mastered the art of asking questions — mainly the one-worded (and sometimes dreaded) “Why?” — and their curiosity has no limits. In the right preschool environment, that endless curiosity isn’t just indulged, it’s celebrated and channeled into confidence, problem-solving, and a love of learning that stretches far beyond ABCs and 123s.

And according to Dr. Lauren Loquasto, senior vice president and chief academic officer at The Goddard School, those skills don’t just happen overnight. “Knowing how to manage emotions, communicate effectively, collaborate, and persevere during frustration are all critical life skills that need to be fostered,” Dr. Loquasto says.

That’s why it’s fundamentally important to provide your child with a preschool curriculum that allows them to discover these key character traits. Ahead, Dr. Loquasto dives deeper into how preschool helps instill these essential life skills in children.

They Design Their Curriculum With Your Child In Mind

It’s essential to look for a preschool that goes beyond the usual preset themes of farm animals, the five senses, or favorite foods. That’s where The Goddard School’s Wonder of Learning program comes in. “It’s an inquiry-based educational program, which means it is built from the questions children ask and their natural curiosity,” Dr. Loquasto says. The program enables children to explore a big question and the many questions that grow from it through authentic, hands-on experiences.

Dr. Loquasto stresses the importance of designing a curriculum that meets individual kids where they are from a skills and interest perspective, and personalizes it to challenge each child. “This ensures maximized academic learning, but also places equal emphasis on developing each child’s social-emotional skills, namely confidence, communication, problem-solving, and creativity.”

They Help Develop The So-Called “Soft Skills” That Really Matter

Preschool isn’t just where kids learn how to take turns playing with toys or sharing crayons. It’s where traits like resilience, collaboration, and independent thinking really begin. “These skills used to be referred to as ‘soft skills,’ which couldn’t be any further from the truth, as they’re the very skills that help your child build a strong foundation,” Dr. Loquasto explains. Take those everyday classroom moments for example: a block tower crashes down, and a child rebuilds it. A zipper won’t budge, but they keep tugging until it clicks. Each time they push through the frustration, they’re practicing a skill for bigger challenges ahead. And remember: development isn’t linear. Skills will mature at different times and in various ways.

How To Build Confidence & Curiosity At Home

To raise a confident, curious child, it helps to recognize what type of personality your child has. Do they become immediate best friends with other kids on the playground? Or do they prefer to hang back and observe from the bench? Depending on their unique personality and temperament, it will require a different kind of nurturing.

For example, if your child is introverted, Dr. Loquasto suggests finding ways to encourage them to engage with their peers in small groups until they are more comfortable. “Not all children are outgoing and extroverted, and that is OK. No child should be made to be something he or she is not,” she says. And as always, if you are concerned about your child’s development, it’s best to consult with your pediatrician. “Remember that child development is optimized when their ‘village’ is working together, so partner with your child’s teacher, pediatricians, and others to support your child,” Dr. Loquasto recommends.

As kids grow, you can also encourage communication by asking open-ended questions, like “What was your favorite part of today?” or “How did you solve that problem?” Giving them time to think and respond not only builds patience but also shows them their thoughts are valued, which boosts confidence in their ability to express themselves.

At the end of the day, preschool is about more than kindergarten prep. It’s about giving children the tools they’ll carry into every part of life. By nurturing curiosity, building confidence, and fostering resilience, preschool lays a foundation for children to grow into adaptable, thoughtful, and engaged learners. And while teachers play a big role, parents and caregivers are also partners in the process. Every “Why?” your child asks is an opportunity to explore the world together and a reminder that those small everyday moments are shaping the confident, curious person they’re becoming.

Whether you’re a first-time mom or a seasoned pro, a lot of feelings come up when it’s time for your baby to expand their very limited menu of breastmilk and/or formula. Chances are you didn’t stumble into this stage blind — your internet history probably proves you’ve been deep-diving forums and blowing up chats with every baby-led weaning (BLW) question under the sun. But never fear, mama — we’ve got the nitty-gritty.

So, what is BLW? It’s a method of introducing solids that fosters independence at mealtime. Instead of spoon-feeding purees, your baby takes the lead, learning to feed themselves. To build the skills needed to bite and chew, babies need practice with real food, which makes BLW a great way to promote oral-motor development along with hand, arm, and eye coordination. And bonus: Since baby eats what you eat, you’re not stuck making separate meals (and you save cash by skipping prepackaged baby food). Plus, it boosts social interaction and exposure to new flavors.

Most babies are ready for BLW around six months, but every child is different. Look for signs like sitting upright with little or no support, reaching for objects, bringing hands to mouth, and solid head control. To start, serve your baby what you’re eating — just be sure to cut it small enough to minimize choking risks.

If you’re ready to give it a go, it’s time to stock up on the non-negotiables, aka the OXO Tot baby-led weaning line. Each piece is extensively tested to withstand the messiest meals, making the transition smoother for both you and your tiny diner. Here are our favorites.

1. The Best-Of-The-Best Grape Cutter

It’s all fun and games until you almost slice your finger while trying to keep up with the amount of grapes one tiny human can consume. This grape cutter is an absolute game-changer for your food prep. Quickly and easily quarter grapes, small tomatoes, and even pitted olives in one simple push.

OXO Tot Grape Cutter

2. The Crinkle Cutter That Serves A Purpose

Yes, crinkle cut food is fun, but it also makes a big difference in BLW — the jagged edge provides a better grip on slippery foods like fruit or soft veggies. This crinkle cutter has a familiar knife grip position, so it feels comfortable when chopping, and it’s dishwasher safe.

OXO Tot Crinkle Cutter

3. The Restaurant Bag Necessity

Cutting food on the go can be tricky and time-consuming, but not with these travel food scissors. Measure markings can be used to help check for even pieces and portioning, and the blades separate for thorough cleaning.

OXO Tot On-the-Go Food Scissors with Case

4. Utensils That Fit Perfectly in Little Hands

Having the proper utensils for your baby’s BLW journey is key. This spoon and fork set’s unidirectional handle encourages correct orientation, plus the handles are made of grippy silicone for easy holding. The best part? There’s a dimple on the back to prevent them from rolling away.

OXO Tot Mini Fork & Spoon Set

5. The Must-Have Dipper Duo

Akin to a honey dipper, these nifty spoons are designed to help baby learn to self-feed without the need to scoop and balance. Purees and soft solids will easily cling to the head of the spoon, so baby can explore new flavors and textures with ease.

OXO Tot Dipper Spoon Set – 2-Pack

6. The All-In-One Placemat

Be prepared to use this suction placement at every meal. It’s got everything: a low bowl that aids in scooping and lets baby see what’s inside, a rainbow texture to help them practice grasping food, a two-zone approach that encourages interaction, and a raised outer wall to keep food from spilling over the sides.

OXO Tot Textured Suction Plate

7. A Compact Bib That Provides Coverage

Bibs are tricky — what’s better, fabric or silicone? These guys are the best of both worlds — a waterproof fabric upper section that provides ample coverage and a silicone pocket that catches crumbs. It even rolls up neatly into a compact design for easy portability and storage.

OXO Tot Roll-Up Bib - 2 Pack

8. Containers That Can Do It All

Portion, store, heat, and serve baby food in one container? Um, yes, please. Made of thermal shock-resistant glass, these containers can go directly from freezer to oven or microwave. The easy snap lids are leakproof so they’re ideal for a diaper bag and they’re stackable. *Adds 100 to cart*

OXO Tot Glass Baby Blocks Food Storage Containers

9. The No-Spill Transition Cup

Finding the perfect straw cup requires a lot of trial and error (and money...). Stop your searching and reach for this one — the almond-shaped, spill-proof straw conforms to baby’s mouth and only opens as soon as they start sipping, which means no unnecessary water drips. Toss the entire cup in the dishwasher and call it a day.

OXO Tot Transitions Straw Cup with Handles Set

Whether your family has always been a matching holiday jammies fam or this is a brand new tradition, you already know — Old Navy Jingle Jammies are some of the best. The brand always has a wide range of choices, from more traditional holiday pajamas like buffalo check to brighter, bolder jammies featuring fun characters and punchy colors, so you always get a chance to show off your family’s personality. And this year, the Old Navy Jingle Jammies x Disney collection is really going to put your family in the holiday spirit.

Romper can exclusively reveal three new Old Navy Jingle Jammies x Disney collections coming this holiday season, featuring nostalgic and classic Mickey, festive Star Wars, and bright Stitch prints. From Christmas Eve to family photos to holiday pajama day at school, any of these new Old Navy Jingle Jammies x Disney looks are going to be the perfect holiday option.

And yes — there are options for each print, so if you’ve got a kiddo who loves to match, but wants a different kind of top or a parent (it’s always a dad, let’s be honest) who doesn’t love a button-down shirt, but will gladly wear a pair of seasonal pajama bottoms, the Old Navy Jingle Jammies x Disney collection have you covered.

Old Navy Jingle Jammies x Stitch

The Stitch jammies might be some of my favorite ones out of the line this year. Featuring everyone’s favorite Experiment 626, the jammies are pink with lots of festive icons in the print. You can choose between a long-sleeve graphic tee top or a more traditional pajama top, so even kids with different preferences can still have a matching holiday look.

Old Navy Jingle Jammies x Star Wars

If you’re not saying things like, “Luke, I am your Father Christmas” over and over while wearing these, then what are you doing in Star Wars holiday jammies? I’m obsessed with these prints, featuring funny graphic tees and cute patterned two-piece sets, and I think this might be your best bet in getting Dad fully outfitted for a Christmas Eve matching moment.

I mean, the Stormtrooper hot cocoa helmet? I can’t. It’s too perfect.

Old Navy Jingle Jammies x Disney’s Mickey & Friends

And of course, you can’t have Disney jammies without the Head Mouse in Charge. I love a classic, nostalgia-inducing Mickey Mouse, and this year’s Mickey print really feels ‘90s-coded. These are the jammies you wear when you’re watching Mickey’s Christmas Carol or Mickey’s Once Upon a Christmas and remembering all of your own holiday memories.

The entire Old Navy Jingle Jammies x Disney collection will be live on OldNavy.com and available in stores, with the products ranging in price from $5.99 to $54.99. Go ahead and lock in which festive theme you want and check holiday jammies officially off your Christmas to-do list.

It’s that time of year again: Backpacks are in, flip flops are out. As the year kicks (back) into high gear, there are new school schedules to wrangle, seasonal colds to deal with, and your own self-care routine to maintain — which is why being prepared is everything. That’s where Alison Havens, motherhood guru and mom of three, really shines. To keep herself and her family healthy all fall and winter long (hi, cold and flu season), she makes one stop at CVS to stock up on her essentials. “As a busy mom, my main goal is to take as few trips as possible,” she says.

And this time of year, there’s extra incentive. The CVS Big Fall Wellness Sale is one to add to the shared calendar, especially if you’re stockpiling wellness products for the whole family. From September 14 through September 27, you can get $10 ExtraBucks (a.k.a. money to spend at CVS) when you spend $30 on wellness support products and use your ExtraCare card. Then, CVS continues with Hot Deals from September 28 through October 11.

To help round out your shopping list, Havens shared some of her go-tos for surviving the fall season. But consider it a starting point. After all, “I always end up finding at least one new favorite when I go in for ‘just one thing’,” she says. With that, here’s what’s in her cart.

Children's Tylenol

Buying children's pain reliever in bulk is pretty much a rite of passage for parents — and it could save you a last-minute trip to the drugstore when your kid comes home with a fever. “Back-to-school season basically means back-to-germs season,” says Havens. While she does what she can to get ahead of sniffles, she also relies on this cherry-flavored classic.

CVS -

Nature's Bounty Magnesium Tablets

Like calcium, magnesium is an essential mineral to help keep bones strong and muscles working their best. With back-to-school germs and busy schedules in full swing, the Nature's Bounty Magnesium Tablets make it easy to stay on top of your wellness. They’re third-party lab tested so you can feel confident about what you’re taking.

CVS -

Bausch + Lomb Lumify Redness Reliever Eye Drops

Havens always has these eye drops on her CVS shopping list, and for good reason. They reduce redness in 60 seconds and help your eyes look whiter and brighter. The effect lasts up to eight hours, making them her reliable everyday essential. If eye redness worsens or lasts more than 72 hours, be sure to contact your healthcare provider.

CVS -

Mucinex Fast-Max Severe Congestion and Cough & Nightshift Cold and Flu Combo Pack

Even with the best immune support out there, colds happen. “I try to remind myself not to panic over every sniffle — it’s all about doing what we can to stay ahead of the sicknesses,” says Havens. “I’ve got a stash of sick day products ready to go because no one wants to run to the store mid-fever meltdown.” One staple is this Mucinex combo pack, which makes it easier to manage cough around the clock, helping you power through the day and get the rest you need at night.

CVS -

Bloom Greens & Superfoods Powder

When life gets hectic, Havens still finds space for her own wellness routine. “I always make time to hydrate with water first thing in the morning before my much-needed caffeine,” says Havens. She sometimes adds this powder, which includes a ton of good-for-you ingredients like prebiotics, probiotics, antioxidants, superfoods like spirulina and chlorella, and, of course, fruits and veggies. Together, they help support gut health, promote energy, and ease bloating.

CVS -

The Honest Company Sanitizing Alcohol Wipes

Havens is a big fan of The Honest Company’s sanitizing essentials. She loves their hand sanitizer because it “smells good, doesn't dry my hands out, and my toddlers actually like using it,” she says. She also keeps the brand’s fragrance-free sanitizing wipes on hand — made with ethyl alcohol and a touch of aloe — which are perfect for quickly cleaning dirt and grime off little hands.

CVS -

Liquid I.V. Sugar Free

Liquid IV is a staple in Havens’s medicine cabinet. It’s “a must when colds are going around or you just need to catch up on hydration,” she says. The citrusy powder boosts water with electrolytes, vitamins, and nutrients to support hydration. Plus, the single-serve packets are easy to stash in your bag for rehydrating on the go.

CVS -

e.l.f. Hydrating Satin Camo Concealer

Havens has a trick for getting some time to herself — and that’s waking up before anyone else does. “Even just 10 minutes makes a huge difference,” she says. But because she’s an early bird, she usually reaches for this satin-finish concealer in her makeup routine. The hydrating formula delivers full coverage, resists creasing, and is long-wearing, which is essential since “no one needs to see how tired I actually am,” says Havens.

CVS -

Dr Teal's Melatonin Sleep Foaming Bath,

Havens’s end-of-day routine is just as important as her morning regimen, since it “sets the tone for the next day and makes me feel one step ahead,” she says. After straightening up the house and kitchen, she reaches for Dr. Teal’s melatonin-infused body-care line, which “smells dreamy and helps me wind down,” she says. This foaming bubble bath is infused with relaxing essential oils — think lavender and chamomile — and epsom salts for a super-restorative soak.

CVS -

Among the seemingly endless costs that parents take on upon expanding their families, there seem to be some lingering misconceptions about how much it costs to feed an infant.

In fact, if you’ve ever browsed a comment section wherein a mom claims that “breastfeeding is free” or otherwise extremely low-cost, you’ve probably wanted to shoot daggers through your fingertips. Because not only is it not true, it neglects to account for the many economic and racial disparities in breastfeeding — and that’s without mentioning the complications so many breastfeeding parents encounter along the way.

So, we did a little digging to determine, definitively, whether breastfeeding or formula feeding is more expensive. Turns out the answer might surprise you.

From the jump, it’s worth noting that this is (as always!) a shame-free zone, so this is not a debate over whether formula feeding or breastfeeding is “better” — each family’s circumstances are unique, and ultimately, fed is best. Another inarguable truth: Parenting a child is expensive, and so many parents are relying on multiple income streams just to barely scrape by.

Dr. Laurie Jones, chief medical officer for Willow, echoes that sentiment. “Modern parenting has extraordinary costs no matter how you feed your infant since most parents financially must return to paid work,” she notes. Oftentimes, that return to work comes within weeks of welcoming a baby, making round-the-clock feedings an enormously challenging responsibility.

“The perception is that breastfeeding is more affordable; however, that is only if it goes well from the start in a country with adequate maternity leave,” she adds. Given that the U.S. is the only wealthy country in the world without any guaranteed paid parental leave, even parents who are able to exclusively breastfeed find themselves having to juggle feeding with returning to work quickly after delivery.

Jones cites the many tools possibly needed by breastfeeding parents as another factor. Some might include:

• Nursing bras
• Breastpump and replacement or extra parts
• Nursing-friendly clothing
• Visits with a lactation consultant
• Nursing pads
• Nipple cream/ointment and/or silverettes
• Nursing pillow
• Nipple shields
• Milk collectors and/or milk storage bags
• Costs associated with healthcare visits to treat any issues that might arise (such as mastitis or nipple thrush), as well as prescriptions
• Increased grocery costs to sustain higher caloric input for the breastfeeding parent

Of course, not every breastfeeding parent will require each of these items, but the assertion that breastfeeding is free is a gross miscalculation, no matter how you slice it.

Infant formula, however, isn't exactly a budget-friendly item, especially if you try a few different kinds before finding the right one for your baby. Specialty formulas (such as soy-based or hypoallergenic) are typically even costlier — a 13-ounce can of Enfamil's infant formula priced at $4.97 is $2 cheaper at Walmart than the same-size can of its soy-based counterpart. Then, add in costs incurred from bottles, bottle sanitizers and warmers, and any additional parts, and things can get pricey.

Research in this area is inadequate (surprise, surprise!), but one 2023 study published in the Journal of Perinatology calculated the many costs associated with breastfeeding in comparison to a year's supply of formula and extra parts/supplies. The formula estimate came in between $760 and $2,280, while breastfeeding for one year may cost upwards of $10,500.

"The number one opportunity cost of breastfeeding is the parents' time," says Jones. Caregiving labor is woefully underappreciated — feeding parents are given little to no financial support, often expending hours per day pumping or breastfeeding. Then, there's the time and energy spent cleaning and caring for equipment. If a parent uses both methods, they're likely to incur costs for both.

"In addition, the societal costs of formula feeding have been well studied and contribute to increased health care costs and disease burden for both infants and women," adds Jones. "The Mother's Milk Tool quantifies the value of human milk produced by the world's breastfeeding parents. There is also an online calculator that shows the impact at a national level of sub-optimal breastfeeding — meaning the families intended to breastfeed, but barriers led them to need to use formula."

No matter your method, infant feeding is a tremendous financial burden, one that disproportionately affects low-income and marginalized families in the U.S. Thankfully, Jones recommends some solid tips for saving money on feeding expenses.

"First and foremost, check your insurance coverage," she says. "Under the Affordable Care Act, tools such as some lactational consultant services and breast pumps are fully covered by health insurance or require a small out-of-pocket cost, which can be covered with FSA/HSA funds. I do encourage moms to do their research, as the insurance process can be complex and you'll want to know exactly what is covered and the reimbursement rates for services and products."

"Also, consider generic alternatives to expensive formula brands to save thousands of dollars," she adds. "Moms probably don't need to buy large-sized bottles and multiple bottle nipples with various opening levels, which can actually put your infant at risk of guzzling so quickly that their stomach receptors don't realize they are full. An intuitive-paced feeding of expressed breast milk or formula will typically stay in the same volume range from month 1 to month 6."

Jones notes there are also some no-cost resources available that can help without adding to your already growing expenses.

"There are several free services and events that moms can tap into, including local WIC offices' breastfeeding peer support, hospital breastfeeding support groups, as well as national and state-offered breastfeeding hotlines and community events," she explains. "‘Fourth Trimester Arizona' is a great example of an organization that hosts events to support feeding options for all families."

Lastly, Jones says to "never underestimate the power of online parent groups," adding, "Many members sell and trade items such as breastfeeding pillows, bottles, and pump accessories. Just make sure the items can be sterilized."

Of course, until state and federal policy changes work to provide adequate support and savings to feeding parents, there is sadly no way to eliminate costs associated with formula or breastfeeding. New parents deserve so much more, especially as inflation continues to rise nationwide and wages remain stagnant. No parent in a country as wealthy as ours should ever have to choose between feeding their child and other essentials, and it's a failure of policy that so many do.

Dear GEP,

I am trying for my first child, which is both exciting and making me anxious. I thought babies didn't need much, but the more I talk to other people, the more I realize that having a child will be as expensive as it is wonderful. What do I actually need to support a kid? And is anyone ever financially ready to have a baby?

There is a saying widely repeated in my family, that all you really need to have a baby is “a towel, and a drawer.” My father, who has had five children and eight grandchildren, is the origin of this statement – and I don’t doubt that when he had his first baby in the early seventies, at the age of 27, they didn’t have too much more than those advised essentials.

As I folded hand-me-downs last month with my younger brother, whose first baby is now just a few weeks old, we chuckled about our dad’s perhaps apocryphal advice. What did he know, anyway? What’s so wild about it, though, is that, a decade into parenting, the “towel-and-a-drawer” maxim feels both completely absurd and refreshingly wise.

A lot has changed since the seventies. When I was pregnant with my first child, my dad’s perspective on parenting preparation felt as silly as giving a colicky baby a finger of whiskey. First, the cost of living for families in this country has grown astronomically. My parents, for example, could afford a home in a diverse city on two therapist’s salaries. Now, the house I grew up in has been divided into luxury condos that I could only dream of affording. Childcare costs are real, and overwhelming: My husband and I calculated when our last child started public kindergarten that we had spent almost $200,000 on the first five years of care for our two children. Children need medical care, and medical care in this country is becoming more expensive and elusive by the day.

And, of course there is the stuff. Fifty years ago, my dad, who I promise you did have a legit crib for my oldest sibling, had few options and little pressure to make baby-related purchases. Now, new parents like my brother and his partner are bombarded with ads and suggestions from other parents to buy high-tech strollers, specially designed tummy-time mats, and smart bottle-warmers. Even with older children, I find it difficult to turn down this constant thrum, the promise that if I just shell out a few more bucks, some aspect of life that I perhaps hadn’t even considered as a danger would be made easier for myself or my kids.

But what do our children, what do we really need??? Don’t get me wrong – the social and political structure of many places, the U.S. in particular, make the financial burden of childrearing fall on individual parents in ways both avoidable and cruel. Reading Abigail Leonard’s Four Mothers, which tells the story of four women becoming pregnant and navigating their children’s first year across four continents, this fact could not be clearer. Having children is less expensive when you have paid leave (the US is the only industrialized nation without it), or universal health care, or state-funded childcare.

But, though many of our financial parenting woes are systemically-created, we do have choices within in that crappy system. Some purchases – like a comfortable breast pump or a carrier that won’t break your back – really can make parenting easier. But most of the actual expenses you may be dreading are either not essential, or readily available, used or free from parents who are dying to get rid of the gear their children so quickly age out of.

Patricia Johnson, a financial planner in the Bay Area and solo-mother-by-choice of a 10-year-old, agrees. “There's a lot of consumerism built into modern parenting that just isn't necessary,” Johnson explained. In her parent clients, she sees patterns of spending that don’t really benefit children, like classes, weekend activities, and the biggest culprit, restaurants. “The kids are fine just at the park,” she told me. “Your kid doesn’t need variety, you do.”

In terms of preparation, Johnson mostly believes that parents will make the adjustments they need to make once they understand their parenting priorities, and that this “make-it-work mentality” is a natural byproduct of raising kids that isn’t all bad. She’s had parents change jobs, for example, in order to afford dyslexia interventions. “THEY JUST DO IT,” she says.

For those in your position, thoughtfully ruminating on the best case scenario for a future with children, Johnson’s pre-baby advice is the same she’d give any clients. She recommends tracking spending for a period of time to get clear on what your habits are, and doing it before you have a child so you’re not having to do that work during the first year of parenting.

“It allows you to prioritize, and then you'll have a better sense of what you're willing to let go of if you have to make trade offs as a new parent.” She also recommends worrying less about college savings and more about retirement, as you can borrow and scheme for the former but not the latter.

I would also add in that flexing your communal and collaborative muscles – getting to know your neighbors, sharing responsibilities with friends, getting comfortable asking for and offering help– will be enormously beneficial to you when you realize that even a teenaged babysitter can charge $25 an hour and if you only need one car if you can arrange a daycare carpool. This, of course, takes work, but it is worth it. And it’s not only for your mental-health – childcare swaps, shared meals, and pooled resources can end up saving you money in the long run.

Who is ready to have a baby? No one. And also, mostly everyone. I’m sure you can find a towel and a drawer somewhere.

The Good Enough Parent is an advice column for parents who are sick of parenting advice. Let Sarah answer your questions about the messy realities of parenting! Send her your questions via this anonymous form or by emailing her at goodenoughparentcolumn@gmail.com.

When Bobbi Dempsey’s oldest son was born in 1989, her insurance did not cover the entire cost of the birth—something that was unfortunately common in her small Pennsylvania town. The hospital, accustomed to patients without wads of cash on hand, offered a payment plan that many families eagerly signed up for. Month after month, Dempsey ran into friends at the hospital cashier’s office as they made in-person payments towards the balance of their birth expenses.

“We would just laugh and be like, ‘See ya next month, same time, same place," she recalls. It took two years of eye rolls and jokes with other local moms before their debt was paid. “It seemed wild and ludicrous at the time.”

Walking into a hospital to pay a bill in person these days is rare, but Dempsey’s experience remains shockingly common. According to the Centers for Disease Control, Medicaid funds 41% of births in this country, while private insurance pays for about 52%. The remaining births are either self-pay or become medical debt. Many American families cannot cover a large unexpected expense, but setting up payment plans or negotiating to lower bills is confusing and stressful, leaving parents with more questions than answers. Extenuating circumstances, such as NICU stays, complicate matters and result in astronomical bills that regularly surpass $1 million.

“Medical bills are so confusing because the U.S. healthcare system was never purpose-built; it has grown and mutated over time,” says Chris Severn. He’s the CEO and cofounder of Turquoise Health, a platform focused on bringing transparency to medical pricing for patients—a tricky job. “All of the administrative systems we use today were created in silos, resulting in a disjointed and inefficient healthcare system. As a result, prices vary wildly between hospitals, insurers, and even patients with the same coverage.” Despite his expertise, even Severn and his wife faced unexpected costs after the delivery of their son in 2024.

“My wife and I were fortunate that she had a complication-free delivery of a healthy baby boy, for which you would expect a standard billing process and set of costs,” says Severn. Despite a textbook birth, bills full of codes, jargon, and lists of small charges added stress to an already busy time. “I thought it was ironic that while I have more niche knowledge on the cost of healthcare than most people, it is so complicated that even I struggled to anticipate the costs.”

Severn did negotiate with their insurance company to reduce their costs, and says this should be standard procedure for new parents hit with a surprise bill. They were charged $6,200 for an epidural, though the final negotiated cost was $2,680.

“Ask providers for an itemized bill, and compare prices across hospitals,” says Severn. “Knowing the fair market price for a service is the first step toward avoiding overpayment and holding the system accountable.” If there’s a code on your bill with a price amount attached, Severn says to just Google it—these codes are standard nationwide. Turquoise Health has a database of healthcare costs across the country that can be useful for negotiating, as well. There are other healthcare cost estimators available, such as this resource from Fair Health Consumer.

I’m not the first one – and I won’t be the last – to tell you that the way insurance is set up in this country is fundamentally broken. Private insurance is often tied to employment, while Medicaid eligibility is based on income or disability. This leaves parents relying on a slapdash mashup of programs that may or may not cover the costs associated with adding a new family member—and little clear guidance on where to start.

Louise Norris, a health policy analyst with Healthinsurance.org, says birth expenses are particularly stressful because they are often the first time someone has to battle with insurance. Someone with a chronic illness may be a pro at arguing down the cost of a medical procedure, but that’s often not the case for new parents. “Birth is an example of a perfectly healthy person having their first real experience with significant medical bills and the claims process,” says Norris. “But the nice thing about childbirth is that you have some time to prepare.”

Norris urges parents to contact their insurance well before birth to gain an understanding of their potential out-of-pocket costs. “They cannot give you an exact number, as they can’t predict if you will need a NICU stay or other care, but it’s a starting point.” Parents should also find out if they qualify for Medicaid and apply before birth, even if they have private insurance.

That’s because private insurance plans have complicated deductibles and copays, while Medicaid often covers the bulk of medical services for an individual. The government-backed insurance will function as secondary insurance, covering what private insurance denies and greatly reducing the remaining balance.

The income guidelines for pregnant women and infants are much higher than standard Medicaid thresholds, and many women do not realize they qualify while pregnant. Nationally, the income threshold is 138% of the Federal Poverty Level [FPL], though many states have expanded access—Pennsylvania uses 215% of the FPL as their cutoff, for example.

Norris also warns new parents to pay very close attention to timelines. Missing the enrollment period to add a newborn to private insurance can result in denied claims, and Medicaid will only backdate payments for three months. That timeline is reduced to only two months under the recently passed One Big Beautiful Bill, though that change will not take place until late 2026.

For Jessica Harper*, excitedly anticipating the birth of her twin boys in 2018, million-dollar medical bills were not on her radar. She and her husband were thinking about double strollers, matching onesies, and introducing their young daughter to her two new brothers.

That all shifted quickly when the unimaginable happened—the couple lost one of their sons, and the surviving twin faced significant complications that required a NICU stay. “It was awful,” recalls Harper. They were planning a funeral, grieving, and dealing with their son’s uncertain prognosis. The chaos and grief meant the couple nearly missed the window to add their son to their family’s private employer-sponsored insurance. “We dragged our feet, but it was just like ‘one more thing,’ and it also felt like acknowledging the enormity of what had happened,” she says of that time. “

The Harpers managed to find a few moments to apply before the 30-day cutoff, and their private insurance did cover the nearly seven-figure bill. They also had to apply for Medicaid, which covers ongoing medical costs for their surviving son.

Many children born with complications qualify for Medicaid based on a permanent or temporary disability, even if their family is above the income requirements. This is the most common way large NICU bills are covered in the United States, with Medicaid paying for about half of preterm births annually. “If we did not have Medicaid today, my son would not continue to get the services he needs. His ongoing care is all covered by Medicaid,” says Harper.

The Harpers’ experience is sadly far from uncommon, says Norris. She urges parents to be proactive and contact their insurance carrier, but not panic. “There could be an error; something as simple as a typo can mean the plan does not get processed,” she says. Most hospitals have a social worker on staff, and Norris says these professionals are skilled at breaking charges down into plain language for parents. Many hospitals also offer no-interest payment plans, which often makes sense versus struggling to pay a bill in full. A Biden-era ruling removed medical debt from credit reports, but a recent Trump-era action reversed that protection, so ignored medical bills can affect your credit.

The key, says Norris, is to review everything carefully, seek expert advice when needed, and develop a workable plan (all while recovering from birth and caring for a newborn, of course).

“Don’t ignore a bill and assume it can just be fixed or will disappear, but do not just write a check without asking some questions.”

Meg St-Esprit, M. Ed., is a journalist and essayist based in Pittsburgh, PA. She’s a mom to four kids via adoption as well as a twin mom. She loves to write about parenting, education, trends, and the general hilarity of raising little people.

I used to make good money. In fact, when I got engaged to my now ex-husband, I was making more than he was. Yes, he was a hard worker, but I was a few years older than him, had been in the workforce longer, and had been on my own for a while. We still split everything down the middle when we moved in and he never complained or told me I should contribute more because I made more.

Then after we got married and had babies right away, we decided together that I’d stay home with the kids. It was something we both wanted and were equally excited about. He started a company and did really well. He made more than enough to support our family, and we were both smart with our money. No credit card debt, didn’t live above our means, and neither of us were really extravagant.

But even in that situation we still fought about money. I was used to contributing and going shopping to get a new outfit when I wanted. I also love going out to eat and we did that regularly when we had two incomes. After we had a baby, though, and I went out to eat, my ex would make a comment about how it wasn’t really necessary and we should save as much as possible.

I agreed with the saving thing, but I didn’t want to stop living my life. We weren’t going out and doing things as much. I only shopped during sales, and as much as I wanted a new car, I didn’t push it because the one I had was fine.

I felt like I was making adjustments, but we still had arguments about spending. My ex was not a controlling man by any means, but he only enjoyed spending money on certain things. He didn’t care as much about going out to eat or staying up on the latest fashion trends. But those were two things that made me so happy. And frankly, they made me feel alive. We all need an outlet, something to look forward to, and those were my things.

In a way, I felt like he was trying to take that away from me and I would not let that happen.

I started asking him for permission to spend money to avoid fighting about it. That didn’t work, as he’d say we should use any extra money to save for college funds or retirement. Even if I really wanted something, he’d come back with “You don’t need that.”I’d usually reply with something akin to “Just because you don’t care about how you dress doesn't mean I have to live that way,” or “you get to leave the house every day and go to work, so going out to eat is something I really look forward to. I don’t want to make all the meals and it’s not like you help.”

Needless to say, it brought out an ugly side in both of us. We had previously made such a great team, so I never expected for that to happen. Neither of us were right, of course. But there was a shift, a change. We both had to make sacrifices, and that’s hard. No one wants someone to tell them what they can’t and can't do with money. My husband was under a lot of pressure starting a business and going from supporting himself to supporting me and a child. I didn’t have enough empathy then, and he didn’t have empathy for the fact that I had lost some identity and freedom.

Yes, this was a sacrifice we both agreed to make not knowing how hard it was going to be.

I had always worked, knew my budget, and treating myself to things was how I loved myself. And I felt like that was being threatened.

You may roll your eyes, or you may completely understand. All I know is that I’ve never talked to a couple that didn’t go through growing pains over money after they had a baby. Every situation is unique, is hard, and requires some tough talks and sacrifices.

It took a bit, but my ex and I finally got on the same page. It required both of us to make some changes because ultimately, the most important thing to us was for me to stay at home with the kids.

If you’re going through this with your partner, be gentle on yourself but also gentle on them. It’s likely that neither of you have been through this before and there’s a learning curve.

Nobody really talks about the money fights you’ll have after the baby comes. Be prepared, and more importantly, remember that the faster you come to a comfortable place for both of you, the faster you can enjoy this new life. You’re allowed to change your mind about working. You’re allowed to get another job, or a different job. And letting go of some luxuries can actually be freeing.

There will always be sacrifices to make when you become a parent; this might just be one of them.

Mandy Moore understands the pressure to be perfect. From her start as a teen pop singer to the matriarch on one of TV’s most-watched series (she’ll forever be Rebecca Pearson from This Is Us in our hearts), she’s had to become a pro at filtering out endless expectations and opinions. But, as anyone with kids can attest, doing that as a mom is easier said than done.

Lately, though, in the aftermath of what has been one of the most difficult years of her life, Moore has resurfaced in a surprising place: calm.

When we caught up with her fresh off a family trip, she candidly told us that, yes, having three young kids can be chaotic — and there’s no shortage of unsolicited advice from others about how to raise them. Yet, there’s a confidence that comes with experience, and as a third-time mom, Moore feels better equipped than ever to tune out all the noise. The result: She’s leaning into her own intuition and embracing that motherhood is inherently imperfect.

“There’s no ‘right’ way” to be a mom,” she reminds us. “The right way is what works for you.”

To that end, well, let’s just say Moore is a big fan of making motherhood easier wherever you can — whether that’s on travel days (snacks and iPads FTW), with feeding (a ByHeart partner, she’s raved about their portable Anywhere Pack), or leaning all the way in to cohabitating with what sounds like the world’s best in-laws.

You recently came back from family trips to Montana and Mexico. What felt different about traveling this time around — with three kids in tow?

It's tough on one hand, but I also feel like we're in this sweet spot where our travel hack is anything goes. You can eat whatever you want, you can have screen time, do all of the things that are just going to make your life and our life inherently easier during a travel day.

We're not a big screen time family at all, so the boys are very excited to travel because it means they get to use their iPads and watch whatever movie they want. And we make sure we have plenty of food, because you never know what you're going to find in the airport, and you never know what's going to be on an airplane. So, we come prepared with sandwiches and crackers and string cheese and all of the things.

But they're just at that good age where they're pretty self-sufficient once you slap that in front of their faces. And Lou is 10 months old, so she's super sweet and easy and just wants to have books read to her, play with crinkly toys, and have some milk and some little yogurt snacks. It's that before-she's-running-around toddler phase and wanting to not sit still. We're kind of in this easy spot of my husband has both boys, I've got the baby, we've got it all figured out.

That also works for me — promising myself little treats.

Right? Yeah, having something you know you can look forward to is a game-changer.

Baby Lou’s first birthday is around the corner. How are you feeling about hitting that big milestone?

I'm in actual disbelief that we're almost to a year at this point. It’s hard to wrap my head around. But I'm excited to keep getting to know who she is and seeing her relationship with her brothers. They're just so sweet with her; they're so doting and so gentle … No one is funnier to her than her brothers, and they're obsessed with trying to make her laugh and smile. It's the best.

I'm very much savoring this particular chapter, because, as you know well, it changes on a dime. Someone's going to have a sleep regression or teeth coming in or God knows what, so it's like let's just own this beautiful time right now and really lean into it.

We’re all bombarded with parenting opinions these days. Was there a turning point for you in being able to tune that out?

It's interesting. I just feel like there's not a ton of substitute for the opportunity to do something over again. Being on my third go-round, motherhood just feels a bit calmer, so I'm able to tap into my intuition a little bit easier than maybe I even expected and trust my instincts. You don't know what to expect the first go-round, so it's really a bit more of a challenge to do that.

Living on social media, it's helpful to find a community, to have some sort of point of reference. But sometimes, it's just completely unhelpful — there are too many voices and too many opinions. As a parent, the biggest journey for me was realizing that, a lot of times, I had the answers to begin with. I just had to tune out the noise, step away from my phone, take in all the information, let that absorb in me, by all means, but then really just lean into what I inherently knew in my gut was going to work for me… and realizing that what worked for me wasn't going to work for everybody.

There's just confidence in embracing the imperfection and the messiness of parenthood, and letting yourself let go of that pressure.

One thing moms definitely hear a lot about is how we feed our kids. What would you tell a new parent who’s putting pressure on themselves to “get it right”?

I absolutely understand it … I went back to work with my oldest when he was a month old, and my middle guy when he was 6 weeks old, and I was very, very lucky and grateful to have a job that allowed me to bring my baby to work so I was able to nurse. I think what was different for this third go-round was that I didn't have anything on the docket; I was super excited to just soak in all of this time with Lou.

With each baby, I let them lead the charge in terms of how long they wanted to nurse, and I was really fortunate that all worked well in my life and worked well for my milk supply. Things were thumbs up, and I know that's not the case for everybody.

But when Lou was 3 ½ months old, the fires happened here in LA. It was incredibly stressful and traumatic, and my milk supply dropped immediately. I was freaking out, so I went to my pediatrician and was like, ‘Do I try and find breast milk on the black market? Do I ask a friend who is nursing if they have extra supply?’ He was like, ‘No, no. You take that off your plate entirely and supplement with formula. Nurse her and then supplement with formula when needed.’ And I was like, ‘OK.’

So in about four months, I started supplementing with ByHeart. Then, at six months, Lou was just done entirely with me and didn't want to nurse anymore, so we transitioned to ByHeart full-time. I loved that the formula really mirrors breast milk in its structure and benefits; breast milk is really the blueprint for ByHeart. I wasn't going to compromise anything by switching over full-time to formula.

Do you feel like that shift had a surprisingly big impact on your mental load?

I think, when that time period entered our life of supplementing, being able to take that one extra stressful thing off my plate made me a better parent. Knowing my mental health and being able to show up and be present for her and for Gus and Ozzie was the greatest thing I could have done for all of us.

I'm so glad I was able to hear my pediatrician and tap into my own intuition. He was echoing what I knew in my gut as well: This is what's going to be best for me. Once I let go of that expectation — Am I doing the right thing for me? Am I doing the right thing for my baby? — and knew that everyone was going to be OK, it just made it so much easier. There was no looking back for me.

So, I guess that's just what I would impart to women: However your feeding journey looks, there is no ‘right’ way to do it. There is no perfect feeding journey; that doesn't exist. The right way is what works for you.

You’ve been open about the loss of your home in the LA fires, and we’re so sorry you guys went through that. One thing I’ve noticed in your journey since then is the way you’ve talked about your mother-in-law, Kathy. It’s so rare to hear that dynamic in such a positive light. What are some of the ways she shows up for your family that are really meaningful to you?

I'm going to get emotional. I just don't know what I would've done in these last eight months without her. My mother-in-law and father-in-law lost their house too, and so we were able to find a rental that we could all live in together.

This season of our life, to be able to all be together … it's everything. I never would've dreamed of it. I just would've never expected that we would've had this time all under one roof, but it's been beautiful for all of us. It's been so healing.

We were able to put the kids down and then make some tea for ourselves and talk about navigating insurance and all the adult conversations you don't want the kids privy to, especially in the beginning. We were able to live that together and have each other to lean on.

Just the simple fact of putting the kids down and not having to have a babysitter! Kathy's like, ‘I'll watch the kids. You and Taylor go out and have dinner; you guys need a date night.’ Having that built-in babysitter, oh my God, I never ever want to give it up. I'm like, ‘You realize you're never going to leave, right?’

It's just been the best thing ever … she’s a dream.

This interview originally ran on Scary Mommy. It has been edited for length and clarity.

My elementary school in my breezy, beachside Florida hometown was quaint and familial. Seagulls squawked over the pavilion during P.E. class, and you could smell the ocean anytime you walked from the cafeteria to recess. All the classrooms opened up to little courtyards with picnic tables, and our parents would gather outside the doors for us to be released at 2:30 each day. I still remember walking out in the afternoon and knowing exactly which of my classmates each mother was there for, their first names, and the cars they drove home each day. I remember the way my mom chatted with everyone at first, then, over the course of the school year, gravitated toward the other mothers who’d been through divorce — those women, especially, were kind and caring toward me even when I wasn’t necessarily close with their kids.

Today, parents are lucky when they get the opportunity to set foot on campus. There is no waiting in the courtyard together each day; schools are fenced in, badge entry protected, and battened down to prevent any kind of violence or tragedy. While I obviously appreciate the protection for my own child, it comes at a cost. It is harder than ever to find community with other parents at our kids’ schools.

Recently, I mentioned this feeling of disconnect to a coworker — that I wouldn’t know how to get in touch with another parent in my son’s class without asking his teacher for their information, and I didn’t even know if she was allowed to give it to me. She said her son’s school had a directory that parents could opt into, which shared their phone numbers, email addresses, and children’s names so things like birthday and playdate invitations, and rides to and from school, could be arranged easily. That seemed wild to me, and my other colleagues, as we all so rarely see the other parents in my kids’ classes. And asking for such information feels inappropriate, like prying, when it’s not made readily available.

During my son’s first year at his new school, I felt totally lost when it came to meeting and connecting with other parents. We don’t congregate at any point during the week to drop off or pick up, and when my son asked if he could have a classmate over to play, it felt awkward to even ask for their parents’ info. Teachers do so much already — should I really pester them about this sort of thing? “No” is the answer I always settled on.

Instead, I tried to make myself known any chance I could. When my son points out another child he knows at pickup, I go out of my way to greet their mom. Birthday parties for other students? We’re there, and I’m chatting you up between pizza and cake. My husband and I went to all the open houses and school events. I volunteered in the classroom. I chaperoned a field trip. Doing these things is a privilege, obviously — I am lucky to work for people who value parents and are super flexible with allowing me to attend daytime events. Not everyone is so fortunate. But by finding ways to bump elbows with other parents whenever I could, I kind of got to recreate the courtyard crew I remember from my own childhood.

This year when we returned to school, we followed our usual routine: We parked in the grass lot across from the school, got out, and gathered our things. Before even crossing the street, the mom of one of my son's classmates — a mom I’d befriended at a birthday party, and again on a field trip — rolled down her window as she passed by. “Hey! So good to see you!” she said, and it genuinely felt that way to me too. We said good morning to the school resource officer directing traffic. Another mom friend who had just dropped her son off saw us and gave me a big hug. My son’s wonderful music teacher was at the front gate, greeting everyone. After he went to class, I strolled to the cafeteria for the first day “boohoo breakfast” thrown by our PTA, and quickly found a table full of parents from my neighborhood all munching on croissants and talking about their kids’ first-day feelings. Some were new, and the parents I was already acquainted with made introductions.

I walked back to my car, smiling inside, and texted my mom, glowing that all the times we’d shown up the previous year had indeed resulted in a sense of community. Cultivating that is no longer as simple as showing up to pick up my kid every day. It was inconvenient and sometimes simply not possible to make it to everything. But by going to the things I could, making conversation even when I normally wouldn’t, and giving my time when I had some to spare, I finally feel grounded in the network of parents at my son’s school. And yes, he knows many of their names and what they drive too.

Whether you feel like your child’s personality matches their zodiac sign or not, it’s so fun to think about how their different character traits are affected by new situations — like back-to-school season. Some kids may be more sensitive, and some may be more excited; some may feel that this is the time of year to tackle their goals, and some may just be ready to go with the flow. But no matter what, using their zodiac signs as a starting point can help you figure out how your child might react to the new school year — and how you can help them along.

Aries

Your Aries babe has probably been ready for school the minute the first pencil went up on Target shelves. They’re ready for a challenge, they’re ready to tackle goals, and they really, really want to pave their own way this school year. Maybe they’re still feeling adventurous from summer, but because Aries kids are so determined and passionate, it won’t take but a minute for them to shift all of that fiery energy into having the best school year of their lives. (They also might get in trouble for talking too much.)

Taurus

Be honest: Did your Taurus child plan their own back-to-school outfit? Did they have it out on their dresser the night before, reminding you that they wanted waffles and blueberries for breakfast? A Taurus is known for being steadfast and practical, but they are also known for liking what they like, for choosing comfort and luxury when they can, and for really leaning in on the things that make them feel best. Maybe your little Taurus was a little meh about the change in routine and a new school year, but they’re also not going to let a school year run them over — they’re the bull of the zodiac signs after all. And no matter what, they’re going to make sure they’re getting out of their school year exactly what they want and need.

Gemini

Oh, sweet little Gemini. Chances are they’ve already made three best friends within the first week of school — but then they come home and are ready to decompress. Your Gemini could be getting in trouble for talking too much and being too social, or they could be hanging out in the library during lunch, helping restock books instead of chatting with friends. I wouldn’t be surprised if your Gemini babe is already being given extra jobs so that they stay engaged and don’t get bored when they find the day’s assignments too small for all of their energy.

Cancer

Your sweet little sensitive Cancer child will be a mix of excitement and anxiety. They might cry — everything feels too big, everything’s changing too fast — and they will definitely be worried about how you’re handling everything if they see you sad. Keep a nice, happy, normal routine at home with their favorite little rituals. They’ll be so happy to come home at the end of the day and find their comfort zone, but they’ll eventually get into the swing of things and find their new routine.

Leo

Did your Leo child walk right into Meet the Teacher day and immediately share every detail of their summer and then show their teacher how they can do a cartwheel? Got it. Leos are big and bold and courageous, and they can often be found right in the middle of the room’s brightest spotlight. They are so much fun and have such good energy! In school, that could mean your Leo is the class clown, the social butterfly, and/or the leader of the classroom... who has to be reminded sometimes to sit back down. Leos are also pretty intuitive, so if you’re getting reports from school that your Leo is a good friend and eager to help anybody in their classroom, that tracks.

Virgo

I need you to give your big Virgo kid a squeeze. These little perfectionists can sometimes feel overwhelmed by all of the things, and as practical and organized and meticulous as they are, sometimes it can get so loud that it clouds their ability to have fun. Remind your Virgo that they are allowed to enjoy things, even if it’s not as perfect as they hoped it would be, and that sometimes a different result is just that — a different result. On the extremely plus side, your Virgo has had all their school supplies organized for weeks and probably read the syllabus at least twice.

Libra

Libras are balanced and steady, forever seeing both sides of every story, so a little Libra getting ready to go to school? They are already analyzing all the things, preparing themselves for anything to happen. They’re social and outgoing, tactful and diplomatic, and they will be the peacemaker in a classroom any chance they get. They’re probably eager to see their friends and find their comfort zone in school, but also excited about all the unknowns that come with the year.

Scorpio

The intensity of a Scorpio truly can’t be matched, and as your little scorpion babe heads into a new school year, chances are they are already making grand plans, hyper-focused on their ideas, and thinking ahead to the things they want to accomplish — whether that’s some new sport or activity or just upgrading their social life. But your Scorpio can also be stubborn, and if they feel out of control with the start of a new school year, they might react poorly.

Sagittarius

Man, I hope your spontaneous, adventure-loving Sagittarius hasn’t completely lost their mind over the routine of school. Hopefully the first few days are still fresh and new, but a Sagittarius thrives on freedom and independence, and being stuck in a classroom all day can really do a number on them. With their love of knowledge and curious nature, however, they may be able to squeak through the school routine with more joy than angst.

Capricorn

I bet your Capricorn kiddo has already earned a spot at the top of their teacher’s list for the type of kids who can be trusted to deliver items around the school or run to the front office for something. A Capricorn loves structure, is overwhelmingly realistic and practical, and loves to feel on top of their game. You won’t hear that your Capricorn got overwhelmed in class and cried, no. They’ll save that for when they’re home, where hopefully nobody ever has to know that they had a moment of weakness.

Aquarius

Your water baby Aquarius has probably proven to you that they do things their own way, and that definitely goes for back-to-school season, too. Maybe you thought they’d be excited, but they’re more practical than that, or maybe you thought they’d be nervous, but they’re just too busy analyzing everything. No matter what, you can trust that your little Aquarius is engaging in big conversations at school, raising their hand to ask deeper questions, and sharing their extremely honest opinions. They’re not going to get too emotional with you about how they feel — but they will give you a detailed play-by-play of the day (if you ask the right questions).

Pisces

Pisces are daydreamers, and they are extremely intuitive and insightful. But this can also mean they feel too many emotions at once and get moody and overstimulated. So, if your Pisces babe has been coming home feeling a lot less excited than they were when they first left for school, don’t panic. They’re loving all the good energy and vibes, but the minute they feel something negative on the outside, they can quickly lock down and feel like they’ve lost their footing. Your Pisces kid may just need a little reminder that they can control how things affect them, especially at school.

There is nothing like back-to-school anxiety... for parents. I mean, I’m sure kids are nervous, too, but parents know way more about what’s to come, and we can really let our brains spiral when we want to. The problem with all of this anxiety is that as much as we encourage our kids to talk about theirs and ask for help and reach out to people around them, it feels a little scary to let our own anxiety flags out into the wind for everyone to see — especially your kid’s new teacher. You want to be the chill, calm, collected parent, but what if you’re anxious about your kid using the bathroom at school or unsure how the pick-up line works or want more information on school supplies? Should you email your kid’s teacher before the first day of school? Or is that going a little too far?

I didn’t talk to your teachers, but I know what they’d want me to tell you: just take a deep breath. Whether this is your first kid in school or your first year in a new school, it’s easy to get overwhelmed and anxious about all that’s to come. And they understand that. Many teachers are parents themselves, and they know exactly what you’re worried about. Even the brand new teachers know that it’s a lot to send your kid off to school every day and relinquish some control over their day, and they want your kid — and you — to have the best year possible.

So, emailing them before the first day of school? It’s not a completely inappropriate action. But there are some things to consider.

Why do you want to email your kid’s teacher?

This might be the most important question: Why do you want to email your kid’s teacher before the first day of school? Anna Hall, an elementary school teacher in North Carolina, tells Romper that she has no problem with parent communication — she encourages it — but before the first day of school is a chaotic time, and she really wants parents to consider what it is they want to talk to her about. “In general, you should’ve already met with your child’s teacher before the first day of school at an open house or even just a chat on the phone when you get their teacher assignments. So if you still need to follow up with an email, it’s worth thinking about how important this question is. Teachers get a lot of emails, and honestly, some of the things you might be anxious about and want to email the teacher for are things that are going to be solved in the first 10 minutes of the school day,” she says.

If you didn’t get a chance to attend an open house or "meet the teacher" event and just want to introduce yourself, Hall says this is a great reason to email your kid’s teacher before the first day of school. “Just a simple email saying, ‘Hi, sorry we missed the open house, our kid is so excited,’ or something similar is totally fine. You should get a response from your child’s teacher before school.”

If you have a question about the supply list, some kind of school policy or procedure, or transportation, she recommends going through all of the emails and paperwork you’ve already received from the school. “Schools are incredibly thorough — we want you to have all the information you need — so chances are the answer to your question is already available to you.”

Give your teacher a chance.

If your email is centered around something specific about your child, like your fears or worries about them in the classroom or a concern you have, Hall says it’s best to bring those up at the open house or meet-the-teacher event. “If you couldn’t chat then, dropping an email is fine, but please really think about how important it is. If the email is more focused on you sharing all of your kid’s likes and dislikes or the best ways they respond in a classroom, please just give teachers a chance. We work with kids every day. This is our literal job; let us have a chance to show you how we teach before you email us with what you need us to do.”

Hannah Turner, a high school chemistry teacher in Michigan, agrees and tells Romper that she’s had high school parents email her before the first day of school, insisting that their child is going to struggle in class and will need lots of extra credit. “I always respond with something like, ‘Thank you for this email, but please give your child and our class a chance to see how we do first!’ I’m a parent, too, so I understand wanting your kid to succeed and jumping for any chance they get, but trust your kids’ teachers.”

However, Turner says that if you have a deep concern or worry about something specific, such as a medication for your child or a food allergy, she's not going to be bothered by a reminder email. “But keep it light and easy. Please don’t assume your child’s teacher was planning on giving them a peanut butter sandwich the first day of school even though they have a nut allergy. We all have systems in our schools and classrooms for information like that, and I promise we do everything we can to keep your kids safe and healthy and happy in our classroom. Please trust us.”

Ultimately, how well-received an email to the teacher will be before the start of school depends on the teacher, the topic, and your approach. “I get emails from parents before the first day of school all the time, and most of them are a simple introduction, telling me how nice it was to meet me at Open House, and sharing that their kid is super excited. Those are lovely and have a really festive mood for back-to-school. And even better is a parent who emails me to say they’d love to help out in any way they can, or asking if they can drop off extra snacks or something for the classroom,” Hall says. “We love parent involvement, and we encourage open communication — just don’t come at us like we’re idiots who weren’t going to be able to figure out that your kindergartner is struggling to read.”

Emailing your kid’s teacher before school? Not a bad idea.

Emailing your kid’s teacher before school because you’re just sure they’re going to mess something up? Step away from the inbox.

There have been 1,333 cases of measles nationwide in 2025, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). While that doesn’t sound like many, it’s significantly more cases than the 285 confirmed in 2024. The majority of this year’s cases happened in Texas, but cases have been reported in 40 states. Of those 1,333 people, more than half were children, and 92% of them were unvaccinated or had an unknown vaccination status.

We’ve been hearing about the rise in measles cases since last year, but the numbers just keep climbing. And as we prepare to send our kids back to school this August, infectious disease experts are concerned.

“Pediatricians are worried about declining vaccination rates in general and those leading to increased cases of measles and outbreaks, as we saw this past year. Vaccination rates for MMR, which is the measles, mumps, and rubella vaccine, have been declining. We need about 95% of the community to be vaccinated to have that community immunity, but in many places, those rates are much lower. And nationally, when we look at kids entering kindergarten who are fully vaccinated, it's a little less than 93% of kindergartners,” says Dr. Katie Lockwood, a board-certified pediatrician at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia and associate professor of pediatrics at the Perelman School of Medicine.

So, if you’re sending little ones off to school this month, here’s everything you need to know about measles, exposures, and yes, vaccines.

Are pediatricians worried about more outbreaks as everyone returns to school?

In short, yes. This is because, naturally, “outbreaks are a concern when vaccination rates fall below what's recommended,” Lockwood says. But it also has to do with all the traveling families do over the summer. Many of the measles outbreaks in the U.S. in the past year resulted from unvaccinated individuals traveling, being exposed, and returning home carrying measles.

“Many cases that we’re seeing are in people who are recent return travelers,” Lockwood notes. “A lot of people take end-of-summer trips right before they return to school. If your child has a fever, stay home and make sure that they’re OK before you send them back to school. We really don’t want sick kids going to school in the beginning and sharing their germs with everybody else.”

Dr. Liz May, a board-certified pediatrician at Texas Children’s, adds, “Starting school is a time we worry about disease transmission in general. There is some worry with kids going back to school. We’re seeing more spread in communities, and a lot more cases overall. Measles is actually the most contagious disease we have. If we have 100 unprotected people in a room and one person has measles, 90 to 100 of the people in that room are going to be infected.”

With all of this in mind, I ask Lockwood how likely it is that any of our children actually come home having been exposed to measles, and her answer is reassuring: “There’s no threat to you when it’s not in your community. It’s a potential threat, but not an actual threat in most places. This is something very important to vaccinate against to prevent this as a possibility.”

Why does the measles vaccine matter so much?

The best way to prevent your child from getting measles is to vaccinate them, according to May, Lockwood, and all major medical authorities. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that babies receive their first MMR vaccine at 12 months of age and a second dose between the ages of 4 and 6 months. The first dose of the vaccine is 93% effective at preventing measles, May says, which increases to between 97% and 99% with the second dose.

The vaccine is crucial to preventing the spread of measles because, really, there is nothing else anyone can do. Unlike other illnesses we worry about our children catching at school, from strep to colds to the flu, measles is airborne. Washing their hands and not sharing food or drinks is not enough to keep a child from catching it, Lockwood says. “Measles is airborne and can be in the air for two hours after an infected person was there. There’s nothing that your individual child can do to prevent them from getting measles if someone in school has measles.” So if one child in the cafeteria has measles, everyone else who enters for lunch within the next two hours is now powerless to prevent infection unless they are vaccinated.

If you’re sending a child off to school but have a baby who hasn’t been vaccinated yet or a toddler who’s only had one of their two shots, what then? As long as the family members old enough to be vaccinated are, Lockwood says you’ve taken all the right steps to protect younger children in the home.

Earlier this year, some Texas parents made headlines for giving their children vitamin A in hopes that it would protect them against measles, resulting in liver damage. It is worth noting that this is not recommended by any medical authorities as a safe or effective way to prevent measles. Only the vaccine is.

“Vaccination is the most important way to prevent getting measles. Nine out of 10 non-immune children will get infected if they’re exposed. Most American children are not deficient in vitamin A, and therefore taking extra vitamin A is not going to help prevent them from getting sick, and in many cases can cause harm because this is something that you can take too much of,” Lockwood says.

If you’re looking for evidence-based information about vaccines, Lockwood directs parents to the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia Vaccine Education Center website or the AAP — and away from social media and unscientific sources. Measles infection can also cause secondary neurodegenerative illnesses that may not take hold until seven to 10 years later in a child’s life, and May encourages parents to weigh this when considering vaccination.

What should you do if your child has been exposed or if there’s an outbreak in your community?

There are steps you can take to help your child fare better if they are exposed to measles.

The vaccine isn’t just a method of prevention; it’s really the only “treatment” available, too, May points out. “That is the way to stop spread and prevent children from getting measles. There is no treatment for measles, and the main post-exposure intervention is to get the vaccine if you have not had it.”

While it’s incredibly unlikely to happen, what should you do if a measles outbreak does begin in your area? If you hear about a measles case in your community and your child may have been exposed, Lockwood advises calling your pediatrician right away.

“If you’ve been exposed but you’re not sick yet, these are ways that we can try to help boost your immune system so you potentially won't get it. If you’ve had an exposure and it’s within the past three days, you can get the MMR vaccine as a post-exposure kind of prevention. And if it’s longer than that, and it's maybe four to six days ago that you had the exposure, there is an immunoglobulin that you can take.”

If you have older children in school and a baby or toddler at home, having the older child and adults in your home fully vaccinated is “protective and life-saving” for the younger siblings, May says. “You would just be monitoring for symptoms, because it is rare but technically possible for them to contract measles. Have that discussion with your pediatrician about what to look for and if a patient qualifies for a vaccine or additional preventive care.”

In the event of an outbreak in your community, you can talk to your pediatrician about vaccinating babies as young as 6 months. “You can get the MMR vaccine early, and that's something that, if there becomes an outbreak in your community, your pediatrician may recommend,” says Lockwood. The reason infants younger than 12 months usually don’t receive an MMR isn’t because it’s unsafe. Their body simply doesn’t mount the same immune response as it does when they’re older, and so that shot doesn’t count toward the two-shot series needed to ensure immunity. So, it’s just an extra poke for the baby that doctors generally try to avoid unless there is a real risk of measles exposure.

Ultimately, there is a very, very slim chance that measles plays any part in your child’s return to school this year. Hopefully, this information helps put your mind at ease, knowing that there are things you can do even during an outbreak to protect your family, and serves as a reminder that prevention is quick, easy, and uncontested among medical experts.

Sight words, writing his full name, addition and subtraction — there’s a lot I know my 4-year-old son, Cooper, will learn at school this year. And because he truly loves to learn, I know he’ll nail it all. When he decided he wanted to write his numbers, we spent hours over one weekend practicing until he could scribble every digit almost as neatly as my own. When the kindergartners in his class of 3- to 5-year-olds began learning to read, he asked me for nights on end to teach him, too. I have no doubt he’ll gobble up every lesson his teacher gives him this year. But it’s not his academics I’m most excited for him to master.

You see, my little guy is exactly like me when I was his age: introverted, terrified of conflict, and at times cripplingly risk-averse. I’ve been prone to anxiety my entire life, afraid to put my face underwater when learning to swim or to ever take my training wheels off. It wasn’t until I was an adult that I learned to stand up for myself, and if we’re being honest, it still takes a major slight to prompt it. I see all of that same hesitation in my son. As the person who never learned to ride a bike or swim underwater, the grown woman who still feels a burning unease inside while struggling to speak up, I want to do everything in my power to change his trajectory.

Cooper has always been shy, and he isn’t one to stand up for himself or say anything to another kid who wrongs him (in the way little kids can “wrong” one another — snatching a toy, wiping a booger on his arm, you know). We’ve always told him the same thing: “Use your words and tell them no. If they don’t listen, ask your teacher for help.” For years, my husband and I have repeated the same refrain, until his first year in Montessori school.

In true toddler fashion, he wasn’t a fan of trying new foods, so I was elated when Cooper asked to eat lunch from the cafeteria on Fridays when they serve chicken nuggets or pizza. Then one day, on the drive home from school, I asked how his lunch was... and somebody had stolen his chicken nuggets. So, I messaged his teacher to let her know, and she assured me she knew the likely culprit and would sit that student with the kindergarten girls who she knew would give him hell.

Then she shared her insights: Cooper hadn’t said a word to anyone about it. It rang true for me that not only did my little shy guy not feel confident standing up for himself, but he also wasn’t sure how to ask for help, or when it was warranted. Maybe this is just being 3 or 4, but I’d seen all our friends’ children be ready and willing to speak up, bicker, and even throw hands if necessary. I imagine he feels a lot like I did in the face of conflict: dwarfed, intimidated, and just wanting it to end more than wanting it to be made right.

His teacher assured me it was fine for him to bring any conflicts to her until he got older and a little more confident, and said we should instruct him to do just that. And there I had it — something really life-changing his teacher could help me get across to him that my husband and I just haven’t been able to communicate the right way yet.

I had seen all the fruits of her labor throughout the school year: the easy way our son began counting to 200 by ones, fives, and tens, the songs about friendship he’d sing to himself as he played, and the confidence to get up on stage and perform a traditional Mexican hat dance with his classmates for the school’s heritage night (yes, it was precious). It hadn’t yet occurred to me that his teacher was also willing to coach him through some equally important life lessons, like how to work out a conflict with his classmates, speak up, or ask for help.

We’re lucky that at our son’s Montessori school, they have the same teacher from ages 3 to 5. His teacher, already well-versed in his strengths and hurdles, has two more years with him. He grew so much in his first year, and I could never have imagined how much he would learn. I know that when he walks out of his second year in her classroom, he’ll be unrecognizable in more new and wonderful ways. Maybe he’ll have neater handwriting, color entirely inside the lines, or even be starting to read. But honestly, my biggest hope is that he’ll know it’s OK to ask for help, say no, and talk to his friends about hard things. Knowing we’ll get to watch the slow bloom of his confidence, to me, is just as much a part of the magic of a new school year.

The world needs its homeroom moms, the ones who are handing out snacks at every class party and cleaning up behind every field day. And maybe you are that parent in your heart, but your 9-to-5 means you rarely (OK, never) get the opportunity to help out during school events. You love your kid’s teacher and know they’re not getting paid the very large sum they deserve. So, how can you best support your child’s teacher if you don’t have time to volunteer during the day?

If you’re wondering, just ask. There might be opportunities outside of regular school hours to pitch in, like helping decorate for special events in the evenings or joining the PTA. Don’t assume you can’t be helpful at all just because you can’t volunteer in class to help serve Thanksgiving lunch or chaperone the zoo field trip. Even if the teacher doesn’t have any needs right now, they will remember your kindness and your offer, and they’ll probably take you up on it before long. And if you’d like some concrete ideas to work with, say no more.

Supplies are always welcome.

There’s a big influx of new supplies at the beginning of the school year and then...crickets. You can message your child’s teacher to see what they need specifically, but there are some supplies that are a forever need.

“Definitely supplies, always. Expo markers, pencils in bulk, tissues, hand sanitizer, and whatever that specific teacher uses. Also for bigger or individual supplies, send an extra. I request scientific calculators and sometimes kids will come in with an extra to have for the room or to give to a kid who doesn’t have one or forgot theirs. That’s the best,” says Martha O’Brien, a middle school math teacher in Virginia.

To be maximally helpful with minimal effort, you could also just set some supplies to auto-ship to your child’s teacher.

Check in to see if the teacher could use a reward for their class.

“I have a parent who emails me periodically and asks if there’s anything I want to incentivize my kids with if they’re not turning in homework and stuff and she’ll get donuts or pizza for them and that’s so helpful,” says Anna Morgan, an English language arts teacher in Florida.

Ask if there are tasks you can help with at home.

Especially for elementary school teachers, they may be putting together projects that require a lot of cut-outs or sorting of supplies to be handed out in packets, O’Brien says. If so, the teacher can send everything home with your child for you to cut out or put together while you binge a show after dinner. It’s a great way to volunteer some time and elbow grease in the evenings when you’re available, and free that time up for your child’s teacher to do one of the other 20 tasks on their plate.

Dedicate some time to making sure your kid is actually excited about school.

Yes, this does make a teacher’s job easier.

“The biggest help is making sure every parent is fully involved in the learning process. Also they can be verbally encouraging to their child’s teacher and make sure their child knows school is a responsibility but is also a fun place to be. This can be as easy as telling your child that you wish you were still able to go to school and about some positive experiences you had,” says Staci Pendry, a K-8 music teacher. “Message the teacher once every few weeks just to check in on them and say a specific thing you noticed that the teacher is doing well. That little note is worth all the volunteer hours.”

Bring in snacks. They will be put to good use.

Teachers all over Reddit say they often end up buying classroom snacks out of their own paychecks. A Costco-sized carton of Goldfish will never not be appreciated. As one middle school teacher posted, “Classroom snacks make all of the difference. I provide them to every child, every day. The kids are hungrier than they have ever been in my nearly 20 years of teaching, and inflation is making this an expensive commitment. Help a teacher get snacks for the classroom.”

Help with upkeep of special areas around campus.

If you can spend some time there on a weekend occasionally, maybe there’s an opportunity to help on the school grounds. My son’s school has chickens — does their coop need any repairs or improvements? Last year our guidance counselor asked for donated planters and flowers to beautify the school’s entrance, and parents provided the necessary items. One Reddit poster shared that a friend of theirs “took over a school’s abandoned gardening program. He fixed up the garden and kids come once a week to learn about how plants grow. He would be tending a garden at home anyway.”

Communicate with your child’s teacher if something is wrong.

Pendry also encourages parents to check in and keep teachers up to date on what their child is saying about their school experience at home. They’re one person overseeing a classroom full of kids, but you have special insight on your own child and what happens during their day. Again, helping your child want to be at school and removing any negativity keeping them from learning is a big help to teachers.

“If anything comes up that is bothering your little one, make sure you reach out to the teacher. We know a lot, but can’t always know everything. Letting us know what’s happening is a way to help make sure your child feels safe and heard and wants to come back to school,” she says.

Attend school board meetings to advocate for funds and resources your teacher needs.

Voicing your support and showing up to evening meetings shows school board leadership what really matters to parents and teachers. You may not be able to judge the science fair during the day, but you can be vocal in your support of more funding for crucial programs in your district.

Back-to-school season has such an air of joy about it. Not only is it a fresh start to a year full of milestones and memories, but it kind of feels like a legit new year for moms. You’ve got this whole new routine to get in line, with a lot of moving parts. And setting everyone up for success — whether it’s a brand-new kindergartner in your household or a seasoned high schooler — is so important. That’s why there are some back-to-school must-haves you really need to throw on your list — yes, even if you really don’t think there’s a difference between lunch boxes.

Because look, things are about to get real. Summer was a blast, and letting your children live like feral beings who survive off of Cheetos and Capri-Suns and count swimming as a “bath” was fun. But now you’ve got to start thinking about all those baseball games and cheerleading practices and gymnastics meets. There are piano lessons, play rehearsals, and club meetings. There are a million things happening every day, and the last thing you want to hear is that your kid’s backpack broke on their third week of school or that your child can’t find their shin guards. You want everyone — you, your partner, your kids — to feel fully confident heading into another school year, and this back-to-school list will do just that.

From the perfect coffee thermos for those early morning chorus drop-offs to lunch boxes that can be easily cleaned when someone forgets to throw out a ketchup packet, we’ve got you covered.

The Backpack That Will Actually Last

Jansport Cool Student Backpack

Jansport -

Whether your kiddo’s headed off to kindergarten or middle school, they’re going to need a backpack that actually lasts through the school year. So many of the “budget-friendly” ones end up being ruined by the time Thanksgiving break comes around, and who wants to buy more than one bookbag per year? The Jansport Cool Student Backpack has a water bottle pocket, a sleeve inside the bag to hold a 15” laptop, and a reinforced leather bottom so it can stand up to anything. It also comes in tons of cute patterns and colors, and these straps sit beautifully on even the tiniest shoulders.

The Best Name Labels

Mabel's Labels Ultimate Back-To-School Bundle

Mabel's Labels -

Preschool, fourth grade, college — it really doesn't matter what grade your kid's going into; you'll need to put their name on some stuff. Mabel's Labels won't let you down! These bad boys hold up to dishwashers, washing machines, and yes, a full day of elementary school. This bundle comes with 126 durable labels in various sizes and shapes, and you can customize them with whatever design and color you want. Trust me: They last forever.

The Only Calendar Your Family Needs

Skylight Calendar

Skylight -

I was always a paper calendar girly and really detested any kind of app or digital calendar — until I tried the Skylight Calendar. Not only can you input *everybody’s* plans and commitments and events (and color-code them!), but the biggest game changer has been the chore lists for our family. The ability to see what our kids need to do each day and then check it off themselves has been a huge motivator. I’m also enormously pleased with the dinner plans I can add in — no more “What’s for dinner?” at school pick-up — and the list section where my kids can add things to the grocery list themselves (and then I can just access it at the grocery store later). This is like a personal assistant.

The Ultimate Hygiene Bundle For Big Kids

Tubby Todd Kids Bundle

Tubby Todd -

Tubby Todd has been a beloved baby brand for a long time, but if you’ve got little kids heading into elementary school or, you know, starting to have a certain scent, consider buying the Tubby Todd Kids Bundle. Created for kids ages 6 to 12, this set includes a face wash, deodorant, toothpaste, and bar soap to help combat the skin issues commonly faced by kids of that age. Plus, they all come in really fun scents.

The Perfect Basket For Uniforms

Brightroom XL Curved Storage Basket

Target -

It took me roughly six months of having three kids in about six different activities before I got smart about uniform storage, and these Brightroom XL baskets are perfection. Now, when I dry soccer uniforms, ballet leotards, practice jerseys, swimsuits — whatever they need for their activities — instead of folding them to go upstairs where we’ll be struggling to find them five minutes before we have to leave for practice, I toss them in this basket on top of the dryer. Then everyone knows where they are, everyone can grab their own stuff, and we always know what’s clean. Even shinguards and other sports accessories go in there. Get one for each kid.

An Easy-To-Clean Water Bottle

Owala FreeSip Water Bottle

Owala -

There are few things worse than a water bottle that has a million parts and gets all gross and dingy inside — except maybe a water bottle whose parts don’t even come out, so you can never really get them clean. If you want to make sure your kiddo has a water bottle that’s easy to clean, doesn’t spill, and can take a beating at soccer practice, recess, and the lunchroom, then you want the Owala FreeSip water bottle. With just one little rubber piece inside to remove to clean, and a straw that’s easy to keep from getting gross, this is the ultimate little kid water bottle. Kids can also decide whether they’d rather sip or use a straw, and it comes in tons of different fun color combinations.

A Lunchbox That Can Literally Handle Anything

Mackenzie Puffer Sage Daisies Lunch Box

Pottery Barn Kids -

I’ve bought many lunch boxes over the last decade, but nothing lasts like the Pottery Barn Kids Mackenzie lunch boxes. These things are not only gorgeous and come in a bunch of different designs and colors (which you can obviously monogram), but they are solid on the inside and incredibly easy to clean. There’s also a pocket for water bottles on the side, and the inside features a little mesh zippered section to store utensils, napkins, or even sweet notes. These will literally last you years.

A Fun Pack Of Markers For Studying

Yoobi SmileyWorld 5-Pack Double Ended Stamp Markers

Yoobi -

Listen, sometimes you just need a fun marker or highlighter to keep you focused while you’re studying, and that’s exactly what the Yoobi SmileyWorld Double-Ended Stamp Markers are. Not only do they come in bright, fun colors with a nice fine marker tip, but the other end of these markers acts as a smiley face stamp for five different little faces. Kids can use them to decorate their notebooks, doodle while listening to lectures, or stamp around their study guides to help them remember key facts. These are also especially helpful for encouraging kids to fill out their agendas and planners.

The Perfect Size Refreezable Ice Packs

Kids' Refreezable Ice Packs 2-Pack

Target -

You’re always going to need ice packs, whether it’s for a boo-boo or someone’s lunch, so you might as well have some perfectly sized ones on hand. These Cat & Jack refreezable ice packs are not only a fun shape, but they’re just the right size — and won’t break your toe if they fall out of the freezer — for anything your kid needs when heading back to school. They also keep things much colder than you think they would! I especially love having them on hand for sports injuries.

The Best High-Protein Snack To Throw In Your Kid’s Bag

Snack Mates Chicken Pizza Mini Meat Sticks 8-Pack

Walmart -

Everyone’s always looking for a super-easy snack to drop in their kid’s book bag or sports bag for after school, and the Snack Mates Chicken Pizza Mini Meat Sticks are a personal favorite. With 8 grams of protein and only 1 gram of sugar in each stick, these are not only nutrient-dense but also absolutely delicious. I mean, pizza-flavored chicken sticks? Come on. They’re super easy to just toss to your kid as they run out the door, or you can keep a stash in the car so that they can have one as soon as you head off to soccer practice. Buy in bulk to keep everyone happy and full.

The Coolest Pair Of Tennis Shoes

Adidas Marvel Iron Man X_PLRPATH Shoes

Adidas -

Nobody deserves a new pair of tennis shoes like a kid heading back to school, so why not make them feel like a legit superhero with the Adidas Marvel Iron Man X_PLRPATH shoes? Not only does Adidas know how to make shoes that can live up to the elementary school playground, but these are also easy for kids to put on themselves and have such a fun design.

The Perfect Cardigan

The Children's Place Metallic Stitched Open Cardigan

The Children's Place -

Every kid needs a good cardigan or sweater for those chilly classrooms, and this metallic stitched open cardigan from The Children’s Place is a great choice. It’s nice and thick, but the knit is still light enough for them to wear even in the warmer months when it’s just the A/C giving them the chills. Plus, it goes with anything and can even dress up the most casual of back-to-school outfits. Pair it with a cute dress and tights or even jeans and a tee with sneakers — it’s perfection.

The Most Adorable Hand Sanitizer

Game Controller PocketBac Holder

Bath & Body Works -

Listen, hand sanitizer is a must during back-to-school season, and the PocketBac holders from Bath & Body Works not only make it convenient for your kid to fight back against germs, but they might even get a little excited to do so. These are easy to clip onto lunch boxes, book bags, or whatever you need a little extra germ-fighting help on, and they come in all kinds of designs. Snag a bunch — Bath & Body Works offers plenty of sales.

The Lunch Container That Actually Keeps Things Cool (& Warm!)

OMIEBox Insulated Bento Lunch Box

Target -

There are a million different lunch containers available out there, but there’s nothing quite like the OMIEBox insulated bento lunch box. It features lots of compartments to pop in all your kid’s snacks and lunch favorites, and the main center of the box is an insulated thermos to keep their favorite warm lunches hot until they’re ready to eat (you can also pop it out for more room). The entire box itself is insulated to keep things cold. There’s no spillage or leakage either, so it’s a major win for everyone — and they’re extremely heavy-duty, so they last forever.

The Sweetest DIY Stickers

DIY Initial Stickers

Claire's -

Claire’s has a whole new line of the most adorable DIY things right now, and my favorite are these DIY initial stickers. They have water bottles, bags, clear pouches — all kinds of stuff for your kid to customize and personalize — and these stickers genuinely hold up well. So far, they’ve lasted through a few dishwasher rolls as they stick to my girls’ tumblers, and they really help set apart their favorite (and most personal) items from everybody else’s in the class.

The Safest Smartwatch For Kids

Bark Watch

Amazon -

Every year, I hear from fellow parents who just want a smart, easy way to track their kid — but they don’t want their kid to have a phone yet or readily available access to the internet. Enter the Bark Watch. A sigh of relief for parents, this watch is known for keeping kids safe while navigating technology. With talk and text available, as well as GPS tracking and the security you expect from Bark, the Bark Watch is a great choice for families who want their kids to have some freedom while still maintaining peace of mind. Plus, the monthly plan is only $15 a month.

The Cutest Snack Bag For On-The-Go

Varsity Letter Snack Bag

Amazon -

Go ahead and get this adorable snack bag, fill it up with snacks that won’t go bad in your car, and congratulate yourself every time you pick a kid up from school and the first thing out of their mouth is, “I’m starving!” Once you have it stocked, just take it to sports practices and errands with you or leave it in the car so that there’s always something easy for them to grab.

The Best Travel Mug

Contigo Byron Vacuum-Insulated Stainless Steel Travel Mug 2-Pack

Amazon -

Back-to-school means a lot of time running around for you, so you’re going to need a coffee thermos to keep you going. When I tell you these Contigo Byron insulated mugs will keep your coffee piping hot for hours, I mean it. I have dropped them so many times with zero spillage, and they are incredibly easy to clean. I’m obsessed with them and give them to people all the time — this is the only travel coffee mug you need.

No matter what, your little one’s bound to be prepared for the back-to-school season because they know they have you in their corner. (But cute back-to-school supplies always help.)

In any family, there are different ideas of what constitutes “fun.” Throw into the mix kids of different ages, interests, and dispositions, and the puzzle gets even harder to solve. But aboard the Disney Destiny, the all-new ship from Disney Cruise Line, every family member can become the hero (or anti-hero) of their own legendary adventure.

On the Disney Destiny, awesomeness awaits you and the whole family in new spaces and experiences inspired by the iconic characters of the Disney, Pixar, and Marvel universes — whether you root for the good guys or the bad guys. From epic quests for the youngest adventurers to sophisticated escapes for adults embracing their inner villain, complete with character encounters, a water coaster, Broadway-style shows, and world-class dining, there's truly something that will speak to every member of the family — plus countless opportunities to come together and share in the magic.

In November 2025, the ship begins sailing from Ft. Lauderdale for a series of four- and five-night cruises to the Bahamas and the Caribbean. Ready to plan your trip? Read on to learn all about the one-of-a-kind experiences the whole family will enjoy on your core memory-making Disney Destiny vacation… heroes and villains style.

Looking for the perfect getaway for all your main characters? Book your voyage on the all-new Disney Cruise Line Ship, the Disney Destiny, setting sail from Ft. Lauderdale November 2025.

We’re all bracing for the end of summer, sure. More pressingly, though, we’re bracing for the end of The Summer I Turned Pretty. Season 3 of the wildly popular hit Prime Video series drops on July 16, meaning it’s time to say goodbye to Cousins Beach and the characters we’ve come to know and love. Among them? Laurel — best friend to Susannah, mother to Belly and Steven, messy mid-adult woman just out here trying to live a whole-ass life without imploding. (Relatable!)

I would go so far as to argue that it’s Jackie Chung as Laurel that anchors viewership of the series for moms like me. We see Chung’s complex portrayal of midlife womanhood in a YA-tinged world, and we realize we’ve reached that point where we see more of ourselves in her than we do in Belly. The scales have tipped, and you know what? We’re OK with that.

As the series reminds us, life goes on, and soon, it’ll go on without the characters from Cousins Beach, too. But for now, Chung is reflecting on her journey — from steamy car scenes to the romantic advice she would give to Belly — and what fans can expect from Laurel in Season 3.

SM: Here on the precipice of the final season, how do you plan to say goodbye to Laurel?

Jackie Chung: We shot last year, so I sort of feel like I’m saying hello to her again before I say goodbye, and it’s just been really lovely. I think I’m just going to watch in real time with everyone and then see what all the feelings are.

SM: As a fan, there’s this natural inclination to want the characters we love to stay with us as long as possible. Would you say this is a final goodbye to Laurel for you, or would you be open to revisiting her in a future… maybe a movie adaptation?

JC: Oh, wow. I feel like I would be open to revisiting Laurel. I have such a good time with this cast. We have created our own family, and I would love to have a reunion with them at some point in my life.

SM: That’s good to hear! We are living in the age of reboots, so I feel like it could happen...

JC: Yeah, we’ll just send postcards to Jenny.

SM: I’m already bracing to have my heart broken, as I’ve been a staunch supporter of Team Jellyfish. Were you surprised to see just how passionate fans have become about their relationship loyalties, duking it out left and right on social media?

JC: Oh, yeah! I think if you do any show, even when it’s based on a popular book series, it’s impossible to anticipate what the reaction is going to be or how much people are going to like or not like it ... the incredibly passionate responses when it comes to Belly’s relationship choices have been really surprising.

I was just thinking about this the other day. I went to see a friend in a play — this was a couple of years ago — and I sat down before the play started. This woman turned, and I could feel her looking at me, and then she just started talking to me. But it wasn’t like, “Hey, I recognize you from the show.” She just went, “Hi, what team are you? I’m Team Jellyfish, what about you? These are my reasons, what do you think? Nice to meet you.” (Laughs.)

SM: Everyone talks about teams primarily in terms of Conrad or Jeremiah and Belly, but I feel like the dark horse here for me is Team Staylor. I was really happy to see Steven get to step into his own stan-dom. Did you feel a sort of maternal pride or protectiveness in watching Sean, who plays your son, make this shift?

JC: I feel a lot of pride with all of the younger actors on our show. I do feel very close to Sean [Kaufman, “Steven”] and Lola [Tung, “Belly”] because they do play my children. I check in on everyone, because there’s a year where I don’t see them, so I like to check in on everyone and just see how they’re doing. But I’m happy to see any and all of them step into any light that is shining on them because I think they’re all really wonderful actors and people.

SM: We know Season 3 picks up with a major time jump. ... What, if anything, can you tell us about where the time jump finds Laurel?

JC: Yes, it’s been four years, and Laurel is in this new place because she is now an empty nester. Belly is in college and Steven has entered the workforce, so she has a bit more time on her hands to figure out, I feel like, who she wants to be. Because she’s also without this huge relationship that was part of her life, that being her friendship with Susannah. So, she just has a lot of room to grow.

SM: Honestly, she’s been arguably my favorite on the show for this very reason: I feel like, for mid-adult moms like me, she’s just the most relatable character. She’s complicated and sometimes messy, but fiercely loving and just out there trying to do her best. Was that something, as a mom, that drew you to her?

JC: I mean, thank you for saying that, because we do have a lot of mothers or just women who are in their 30s or 40s who relate to these characters because they enjoy watching these young adult shows. I think they enjoy the romance and the nostalgia, but I feel like they also love seeing these adult relationships.

What initially drew me to the show was Jenny [Han], because I’d seen the To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before films, and I feel like she just has such an incredible way of capturing this time in your life where emotions run so high and everything feels life or death, and your heart is just bursting. There’s so much that you’re trying to figure out. So, I was excited to work with her.

Then, once I read the script, I really loved seeing the relationship between Laurel and Susannah. Rachel [Blanchard] and I talked about it a lot, how lovely it was to see a long friendship where the women just support each other. They don’t ever try to take each other down. They’re always there to hold each other up. It was really lovely portraying that.

SM: Before we get into that more, we have to talk about *that* scene with Laurel and Cleveland in the car in Season 1. It’s spicy, and I was here for it. Let’s please normalize stories like this for women over 35! Were you a little nervous about that scene?

JC: I was not nervous about that scene actually! ... Any of those scenes are kind of weird. Like, Hey, just got to go bounce around in the car for a while. I’m friends with Alfredo Narciso, who plays Cleveland. We’ve done a couple of plays together, so I knew him before. That was very helpful because I already felt comfortable and safe with him, and I didn’t necessarily feel nervous about it.

It’s maybe not the most comfortable scene to be in, but I do think what you said is true — that it is important to normalize being women over 30, 35, whatever, having intimate relationships and people who are mothers and who are divorced, like Laurel, still exploring relationships and their sexuality... that it doesn’t end at a certain age.

SM: Yes! You mentioned the friendship between Susannah and Laurel, which was so very special. Is it safe to say that Laurel’s grief over losing Susannah will still be bubbling up in Season 3?

JC: You’ll see that Laurel is always thinking about Susannah and that, in this season, she’s channeling that loss and that love for her friend into her relationships with all of the children, particularly Susannah’s children. I think she really feels like a lone adult in the room and wants to be there for her best friend and soul mate’s family.

SM: I read an interview where Jenny said some of Laurel and Belly’s scenes in Season 3 are the ones that made her cry. This love triangle is coming to a head, and that will affect Laurel as well. If Belly were your real-life daughter, what advice would you give her?

JC: My advice would be to listen to your heart and focus on yourself. I actually have said this to friends before. When we were in our 20s, I had a friend who was looking for someone, always looking, and I’m like, Just look at yourself. Develop the person that you are, the interests that you have, the career that you want to build, and someone interesting that matches you will appear. Stop looking outwards and look inwards. I feel like I would tell that to Belly. She’s at a big transitional time in her life, and there’s so much to explore in the world and in herself. I would hope she would just do that.

SM: Love that. Well, being a working mom is obviously not new to you, but the series has exploded; it’s part of the zeitgeist. Do you feel like it has changed your day-to-day life as a mom?

JC: I definitely get recognized when I’m out, and sometimes I’m with my kids, so I feel like I’ve had to create boundaries when I’m with my family versus when I’m out by myself. I feel like I owe it to my kids to explain what this attention is. So, I just try to articulate to them that this is part of my job, and it’s lovely that people respond to the show that I’m on, but receiving attention is not something that I’m seeking or something I want to stress that they try to attain.

SM: I’m sure that’s something that will just be evolving constantly for you now! Which, speaking of, what’s next for you?

JC: I’m waiting for the right, interesting role to come along. I’m enjoying the summer with my family, enjoying some downtime with them, and then just open to seeing what’s next.

This interview originally ran on Scary Mommy. It has been edited for length and clarity.

When I think about the best parts of my childhood, a few things come to mind. First, I remember the friendships — the kids who really knew me, who I could be goofy and ridiculous around without worrying that I was doing something uncool. Then I get to the tactile parts: the way I was satisfied when my feet were calloused by the end of the summer, or how it felt to sit inside a snow fort I’d built myself, shivering but proud. Finally, I think of what I learned and how it stimulated me — finishing a book in one sitting for the first time, or mastering a challenging new skill.

As a parent, I want to give my kid opportunities to create memories like these. That’s where Scouting America comes in. Far from being just an excuse to take camping trips, Scouting America aims to prepare young people for lives of impact and purpose. They do it by teaching life skills — like social and emotional learning, self-confidence and strength, and curiosity about the world around them — that will help children become kind, knowledgeable, and community-oriented people as they grow.

Sounds pretty good, right? Here’s a bit more about the skills and values that Scouting America instills in its members, and here’s a link you can follow to get your kid started on a Scouting journey of their own.

Social & Emotional Skills

When kids start Scouting at young ages, they learn early how to make friends, develop empathy, and be helpful to others. Scouts are also taught to respect differences and resolve conflict, and they develop skills like honesty and responsibility that will serve them well in social relationships throughout their lives.

A Sense Of Community

From Cub Scouts, which is for kids in kindergarten through fifth grade, all the way up to Venturing, Sea Scouts, and Exploring (programs designed for pre-teens through age 20) Scouting has a huge community focus. The whole family is encouraged to get involved, and Scouts regularly volunteer locally. As an added benefit, this helps kids learn about their neighborhoods, community centers, and schools.

Creativity

Scouts do arts and crafts, perform skits, and sing. And rather than pushing perfection, Scouting shows kids that doing their best is rewarding and fun.

Sign Up For Scouting America

Resilience

Through everything from outdoor adventures like camping, fishing, and hiking to indoor learning projects, Scouting focuses on self-sufficiency. Kids who join Scouting learn early and often that they can do challenging things, and they grow as people when they learn to set goals and achieve them.

Integrity

At Scouting America, regular character development activities teach kids to act on their convictions with strong values and a sense of responsibility.

Future-Facing Skills

Today’s Scouts don’t just have fun in the outdoors — they also take on areas that will propel them forward as adults like rocketry, robotics, and coding. As they get older, they participate in programs like Exploring, which includes mentorship and helps Scouts discover and learn about possible career fields.

Leadership Skills

Through volunteering, outdoor adventures, and team building games, Scouts learn decision making, communication, and organization — all things that will help them grow into strong leaders.

Well-Roundedness

Being involved in Scouting is enriching and fun, but Scouting America knows that their members are always balancing a mix of school and other extracurriculars. For that reason, Scouting America works hard to ensure their programs fit seamlessly into your family’s schedule so your kid can shine on the field, in the classroom, or anywhere they love to spend their time.

A Positive Outlook

A childhood track record of setting and achieving goals — plus helping others do the same — gives kids an inherent sense that they’ll have a bright future. That’s not to say that Scouts are entitled; rather, they believe they’ll be successful because they’ve already seen themselves work hard and achieve positive outcomes.

As a parent, the thought of my kid imbued with that sense of possibility as he prepares to head out into the world is enough to make my eyes well up. If you feel the same, learn more about Scouting America. Here’s to the next generation.

Sign Up For Scouting America

While the excitement of back-to-school season is real (routines! child care! earlier bedtimes!), it's easily quashed by the reality of prep. The registrations, the budgeting, and the inevitable shopping can leave you feeling overwhelmed before the true chaos even begins.

But if there’s one thing that can bring you a little extra solace in the thick of the new-school-year rush, it’s saving money. And sure, hacking your shopping list with Amazon (especially if you’ve got that sweet, sweet Prime subscription) is already a smart move, but it’s possible to stretch your savings a little further with some savvy strategies.

In 2025, your mission is to shop smarter, not harder. While that could mean scoring deals on stuff you’d buy anyway, it could also mean rethinking what you do and don’t add to cart.

So, without further preamble, let’s get into the tips that will help you spend less in all senses of the phrase. Less money, of course, but also less time and less energy. Instead, let these tips do the work for you. Here we go!

1. Look For Deals On The Things That Spark Joy

If you’re still traumatized from your parents denying you the sneakers everyone was wearing in middle school, this one is for you.

Your kid’s clothes may feel like an obvious place to cut back on spending, and while that’s true, it’s also an opportunity to (say it with me!) shop smarter, not harder. Connect with your kid to decide on a couple of items that make them feel good. The latest sneakers? A fresh new backpack? That name-brand water bottle? Whatever it may be, start scouring for sales, deals, or price drops on Amazon so you can score the best possible price on a few key pieces. Then, round out the rest of their back-to-school haul with affordable versions of wardrobe and classroom essentials.

Shop Back-to-School Essentials on Amazon

2. Stick With The Classic Styles

While back-to-school shopping, thinking long-term can make a big impact for you, the earth, and your budget. Take backpacks for example. Chat with your kiddo about styles they might still like next year (or even two years from now). Maybe it’s a classic solid color, shape, or brand with staying power. Same goes for lunchboxes. Finding a look they won’t get sick of can save you lots down the line.

3. Use Reviews For Long-Lasting School Staples

Speaking of long shelf lives, consider investing in quality supplies that outlast your kid’s school year. While that box of crayons or colored pencils won’t stand a chance, stuff like scissors, calculators, rulers, or any other hardware can stick with you for the long haul.

But how does one find quality gear without a road test? Behold: The Amazon review. Scope out the comments for what’s outlasted the competition and what didn’t. Once your investigation is complete, add to cart.

Shop Back-to-School Essentials on Amazon

4. Put Those Girl Math Skills To Use

Girl math went viral for a reason, folks. When you think of your purchases in terms of cost per use, it can help you calculate whether or not it’s worth it. Maybe a $200 jacket doesn’t make sense for your ever-growing fifth grader. But $400 on a tablet they can use for homework for the next three years does. The math maths!

Another facet of girl math worth exploring is investing in products that make your quality of life (or your kids’) easier. That could mean grabbing those cute cookie cutters and using them to make lunches from home a little more special. Just a thought!

5. Get Realistic About Your Kids’ Day-to-Day Routine

Yes, you need to get all the items on the teacher’s school supply list, but the other stuff — like lunchboxes, trendy new clothes, and after-school snacks — is all optional. Before you buy, consider whether your kid actually prefers eating school lunch, loves neon green, or digs those dried fruit treats. Their past behavior is the best predictor of future use.

Shop Back-to-School Essentials on Amazon

6. Stock Up On Personal Care Essentials

Saving Future You some time is a big deal, too. While you’re in the thick of school shopping, there’s no better moment to get your kids’ bathroom stocked up with deodorant, period products, and other personal hygiene items you know they’ll need all year long. It’s one less thing to worry about once the school year is in full swing and your schedule is packed.

Baby Shark knows a thing or two about virality, and its latest partnership with SHEIN is sure to follow suit. The thoughtfully designed collection celebrates the 10th anniversary of Baby Shark with colorful characters and oceanic motifs decorating baby and kids' clothing, coordinating adult pieces, and even a few accessories. Inspired by the internet's catchiest fish in the sea, the fun swimwear, cozy lounge pieces, and cute flowy dresses are graphic in color, easy to wear, and practical for all the excitement that summer brings.

For outdoor playdates, a logo tee livens up a pair of athletic shorts, while a splashy button-up, worn with khakis, offers a creative take on dressing for a backyard BBQ. Unsurprisingly, the collab is heavy on swimwear. Think: one-pieces with shark fin hoods, rash guards with cool cutouts, and a Mommy Shark two-piece complete with ruffled bottoms, all of which deserve a spot in the suitcase for your next getaway. On the loungewear side, graphic matching sets are comfortable and cute for just hanging out — and for coordinating family pics — while rompers make the debate over getting changed into something cozy easier than ever.

From hot beach days to afternoon poolside hangs, these eye-catching pieces are guaranteed to make a splash with the little ones in your life. See our favorite picks from the collection below, and shop the full Baby Shark x SHEIN collection here.

Pink Print Baby Shark Short Sleeve T-Shirt

A colorful tee for the littlest members of your family.

SHEIN -

Pink Baby Shark Print Hooded Short Sleeve Dress

What kid doesn’t want a shark hood dress? This piece is fun personified.

SHEIN -

Summer Blue Baby Shark Print Romper

Rompers are a summer go-to, especially when decorated in your family’s favorite family.

SHEIN -

Baby Shark One-Piece Zipper Swimsuit

A tropical take on Mommy Shark, this colorful rash guard is a vacation-ready staple.

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Baby Shark Print Casual Matching T-Shirt And Shorts Set

No need to play favorites when the whole gang’s included on this cute T-shirt.

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Yellow Baby Shark Print Tank Top And Navy Blue Shorts Set

This tank says what every little one wants to hear: “Let’s go dance!”

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Hooded Blue Baby Shark Short Sleeve Romper

There’ll be no fighting to get your kids in their swimsuit with this fun hooded option.

SHEIN -

Navy Blue Baby Shark Short Sleeve T-Shirt & Shorts Pajama Set

A comfy outfit is made even more fun with Daddy Shark decorations. This is a look they can play and lounge in.

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Rainbow Yellow Baby Shark Pattern Dress

Baby shark all wrapped up in a bow — literally. What more could your little one want?

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Baby Shark Polo Loungewear Set

Waves as stripes and graphic pops of color make this matching set a cool option for poolside hangs and summer playdates.

SHEIN -

A few months ago, I took my annual pilgrimage to The Runway Sample Sale Boutique in the Atwater Village neighborhood of Los Angeles. I don’t live in Los Angeles, and I am not in a line of work that requires me to be fashionable. In fact, I spend most of my days at a desk in my bedroom closet. I’m not dating – the man I’ve been with for twenty years thinks my rattiest sports bra is sexy. And my two children do everything in their power to destroy nice things.

And yet, I find a way to make it there, with whatever I’ve put aside to spend, to take a few hours to try on the dozens of delights I always find amongst the eclectic, locally-sourced designers whose discount merchandise they peddle. Why? For me, just for me.

A surprising phenomenon has occurred in the past few years – after my children started going to one free and local school and I turned forty and started to slip from the male gaze. It’s that my style is, I believe, only just peaking. More days than not, I am looking at myself in the mirror before I go out the door and thinking “damn, she’s fine!” I am putting in just the right amount of effort. I have started wearing my “New York” outfits at home because, who cares if everyone else is in hoodies? Despite not having a flat stomach, I am wearing crop tops.

It’s not that I feel young again, it’s that I feel, finally, like myself.

It’s not that I feel young again, it’s that I feel, finally, like myself. When I was in high school, I painstakingly picked out my outfit for the next day each night. I would sit in my cranberry-red room, talking to Mae or Jeannie, the cordless tucked under one ear and Portishead blasting on my boombox, while I painted my fingernails to match. Butter yellow to go with my shell-toe Adidas. Deep pink to match the accents on the sheer blue top I “borrowed” from my brother’s girlfriend for years.

Of course I am nostalgic for those nights – having the time and attention span to devote to decking myself out like a new bride each day. But if I really return to the feeling, it wasn’t luxury, it was fear. Of being judged and rejected. Of never, ever, being loved back. The effort was a cover, a wild scrambling for something to control. My ex’s best friend was rumored to have said back then, “What do you get when you slap Sarah Wheeler in the face? A handful of make-up.” It was true. And the make-up served as armor against the sentiments in that joke. If I was going to be slaughtered, I decided, at least it would be in my prettiest dress.

Since then, my relationship with my body, my self-image, and of course, with fashion, has charted a complex course. Trying to get pregnant forced me into therapy for my disordered eating and body image. Pregnancy and birth and postpartum forced me to get comfortable with not having much control over how I looked. And perimenopause, or the adjacent space my body currently inhabits, has forced me to ask, if there are no more hoops to jump through to prove myself as a woman, can I just have fun??

These days, this is my idea of fun: Sephora with my seven-year-old, despite my anxieties about her shifting girlhood. Instead of asking “do I look good in this lipstick?” I model for her “I feel so happy with this purple eye shadow!” Sharing custody of an LED face mask with my buddy, because we are too self-obsessed not to be intrigued by the promises of better skin, too frugal to buy our own, and too wise not to pass up an opportunity to make a silly game out of our vanity.

I even stay up late in my bedroom sometimes, Facetiming with my bestie and applying nail stickers, my latest obsession (this is my favorite brand), which last longer than one day, cost far less than a trip to the salon, and give me a little thrill every time I gaze at my hands.

At the end of the day, I want to use the time I have left in this body to adorn it – to treat it as a canvas for artistic expression, for humor, for happiness. That is what I feel when I rock the hard-shelled silver mirror clutch I picked up on my last LA visit, something I would have questioned, a decade ago, whether I could “pull off.” So if you’re pushing 40 or 50 or have lost the thread on what your image means, I’m here to encourage you to make it your own. You can pull it off, trust me. Don’t be afraid, luxuriate in yourself.

The funny thing about becoming a parent for the first time is the way it shows you just how little you know about parenting. An example: when I was building my registry, I went for big ticket items like my stroller and crib along with novelty finds like fun outfits and toys. I didn’t even know to factor in the fact that diapers were the one item I would be using more than anything else. The truth is, at the time, diapers just didn’t seem like something to ask for, but when my daughter arrived (and I realized she would require 10 to 12 diaper changes per day), I wished I would’ve.

If I were building my registry today, things would look a bit different. In place of cutesy newborn outfits and pricey crib sheets, you’d see more practical items like diapers of different sizes and plenty of wipes — both of which are included in the Millie Moon Luxury Diapers Newborn Gift Box. The full-fledged newborn starter kit comes with a trial pack of their cloud-soft, derm-tested Luxury Diapers for newborns and the next size up so new parents can find the right size for their little one. Plus, it comes with a full pack of their popular Sensitive Wipes for complete diaper duty prep.

Alone, those would’ve been enough for me to jump for joy, but Millie Moon also rounded out the gift box with bespoke newborn extras: a super soft hooded towel, an owl plushie, and a full collection of three Millie Moon storybooks. I’ve already picked up one of these gift boxes for a shower at the end of this month, and I can’t wait to give the mom-to-be the best of both worlds — essentials she’ll really need and precious gifts that are heartwarming to receive. Ahead, learn more about each of the items in the gift box before grabbing one for the new mom in your life.

Size Newborn Diaper Trial Pack

The first thing your baby will wear once they’re born is their diaper, and these newborn sized ones from Millie Moon are designed with an umbilical cutout to be extra gentle on a newborn’s sensitive belly area. They’re also super soft against their sensitive skin, plus they’re made without lotions, latex or fragrance. It’s peak luxury for baby that’s affordable for you (especially with all those daily diaper changes).

Millie Moon Luxury Diapers Newborn Gift Box

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Size 1 Diaper Trial Pack

Because babies can go through surprise growth spurts, it’s always helpful to have the next size up of their go-to diaper. The Millie Moon gift box has got you covered with Size 1 diapers that are just as cloud-soft with dermatologically-tested comfort you can trust when they outgrow their newborn sizes.

Sensitive Wipes

Pro parenting tip: you can never have too many wipes. Millie Moon Sensitive Wipes are ideal for getting your baby’s bottom clean without irritation, but they’re also the perfect size pack to throw in your diaper bag for quick errand runs. They make on-the-go diaper changes easy and are even helpful to have for small messes like spit-up or wiping runny noses.

The Millie Moon Storybook Collection

Reading to my newborn daughter was one of my favorite ways to bond with her in those earliest days together. Picture books like the three that come in this gift box (they’re written and illustrated especially for Millie Moon!) help engage their curious and growing minds while giving you a sweet way to bond with your baby.

Millie Moon Luxury Diapers Newborn Gift Box

Target -

Super Soft Hooded Towel

I really loved bath time with my daughter — from cute bath toys to wrapping her up like a baby burrito in her hooded towel, it felt like a routine that we got to share. The cozy hooded towel that comes in this Millie Moon gift box is a great one to have in your bath time routine rotation (and is just downright adorable). Similar versions typically cost anywhere from $16 to $50, so getting one of this quality as part of a $27 gift box is quite the deal.

Adorable Owl Plushie

On their own, plushies are go-to gifts for people who want to give your baby something precious they can cuddle with through the toddler years. The adorable owl in this gift box is as soft as Millie Moon diapers and is a thoughtful touch that’ll become one of your baby’s favorite comfort items as they grow.

As a new parent, you’ll have a lot on your plate and the gift-givers in your life just want to support you and your new bundle of joy. To help them do just that, I’m loving the Millie Moon Luxury Diapers Newborn Gift Box as my go-to gift for new moms. They’ll get $60 worth of high-quality essentials, and I’ll get to know they’re supported with a beautiful, thoughtful gift that’ll help them through those earliest moments.

“What’s your support system like?” my doctor asked as I tried to calm my baby. I was at my PCP’s office to get some insight into the persistent elbow pain that was making it difficult for me to open my apartment door or pull the covers over me at night — not to mention feed, hold, and soothe my baby who especially liked to fall asleep in the crook of that injured elbow.

My daughter had arrived six weeks early and needed to be fed in a specific position that required me to hold her head up with my left hand, the weight of her tiny body settling into my joint. But, like a lot of people I encountered in those early days, my doctor was having trouble getting past the single mother thing. “I’m worried about you,” she said, when I made the mistake of mentioning that I wasn’t sleeping. I was worried about me too, but I really needed help with my elbow.

“What’s your support system like?” was the first question almost anyone asked when finding out I was raising a baby without a partner — from potential mom friends at tot gyms to all kinds of medical professionals.

When I was pregnant, I got “what’s your support system like?” from a homeowner who was renting out an upstairs suite in a cohousing community. In cohousing, people usually live in separate houses on shared land, sharing resources. Because buying into a cohousing community can be expensive, I saw renting as a way in for me. But the homeowner balked as we tried to nail down a time for a tour. Instead, she wanted to schedule a call to talk about my support system.

The question was tough for me — it was something I had been asking myself, with some trepidation, since before I had gotten pregnant. Would the life I had made, the seeming haphazard connections collected over the years, be enough to sustain both me and a baby? I didn’t particularly want to get into this with my future landlord or, worse, be evaluated based on my ability to obtain this magic system. I told her that I thought her question was discriminatory (since she was not asking non-parents the same thing), she apologized profusely, and we parted ways.

But the incident jolted me: It was the first of a series of interactions that made me aware that by deciding to have a baby, I had stepped into a role loaded with cultural baggage.

The question about my support system was not about my own trepidations, romantic failures, or giddy hubris in deciding to get pregnant on my own. It was about the asker. “Are you going to need too much from me?” my potential housemate was asking. “Should I pity and worry for you?” my doctor wanted to know. “Can I view you as having agency?” the mom at the tot gym tried to clarify.

“Where do I place you on the scale of superhero to sad sack?” was how the question sounded to me.

“We are seeing the fabric of this country fall apart, and it’s falling apart because of single moms,” Pennsylvania Senate candidate (and future U.S. senator) Rick Santorum said in a speech in 1994. I was a teenager in the 1980s and 1990s when “unwed mothers” were used as cultural (and racial) boogeymen to push through Bill Clinton’s welfare cuts. Single mothers, the rationale went, were a drain on federal resources.

In the intervening years, with the rise of single parents by choice, an alternative narrative has taken hold, one of people who can afford to have babies on their own and are doing just fine. Yet, the words “single mother” remain a powerful cultural and political category that bring up anxieties about the cracks in our social system. And conservatives still seek to punish us, using the flawed logic that this will somehow force people into nuclear family structures.

Single mothers are scary because they are seen as a drain on the state — if they fail by being poor. When they succeed by being able to support themselves, they are scary for a whole other reason: They seem an affront to the idea that women need men.

I straddle these two poles. I am a single mother by choice, not by chance, with all the privilege that comes from a suburban upbringing and an excellent education, along with the racial privilege of being white. When I got pregnant, I had a good middle-class job. By the time my baby was six months old, I’d been laid off, and my search for new work was hampered by the lack of affordable childcare — I languished for close to a year on a waitlist for subsidized care, attempting to apply for jobs during naptimes, when I wasn’t trying to recover from sleeping only a few hours the night before. In other words, I have never met the ideal of a totally self-sufficient, self-supporting single mother by choice.

“Are you happy with your decision to become a single mother?” another doctor asked me, five months after my failed attempt to get help for my elbow. I was shopping for a new PCP after mine had left her practice. When I told him I was, he responded, “Oh good, because a lot of women do it and then think ‘oh no, what did I do to myself?’”

I translated his question to: “Do you regret your decision to move forward in life without a male partner?” Or perhaps: “Shall I think of your story as proof that the biases I already have are well-founded?”

But back to my elbow. When my baby was almost two, someone finally paid enough attention to order an X-ray. It turned out I had osteoarthritis.

The problem with these questions is not the questions themselves but how they stop conversations that could actually help me. My PCP failed to order an X-ray or refer me to sports medicine. My potential landlord contributed to me never finding a cohousing community and missing out on the support that could have offered. And the doctor who wanted to know if I regretted my choice alienated me such that it was another year before I found effective medical care.

Midway through my first year of parenting, when the support system question came up, I started responding, “Are you asking because you have resources to offer?” They rarely had what I needed — a way to get rest without draining my bank account. They mostly couldn’t imagine how that might exist. Generally, when support organizations want to help single mothers, they want to either educate us or listen to our woes, forgetting that perinatal mental health issues often stem from not having enough support at home. But there is no call you can make, no flyer someone can give you, that can alleviate a year of sleep deprivation.

What would it look like to really support single parents? It would be nothing short of a total restructuring of how we do everything in the U.S.: living in small, interconnected communities as humans have for most of our history, sharing labor and valuing an individual’s contributions beyond the financial. And every person, child and adult, would benefit from that. A society like this would not fear need because it would recognize how our children improve the quality of life for all.

In this world, “single” or “partnered” would not be categories of parents but simply life phases that parents might move through as they raise their children.

No baby is meant to be cared for by just one person. No baby is meant to be cared for by just two people. No child is meant to live isolated from their peers and neighbors. Humans evolved to do most things in groups, including raising children. And American parents, single and married, are exhausted precisely because we don’t do that. We live separately and are meant to pull ourselves up when we fall. In other words, we are expected not to need, and when we do, we often question ourselves and our skills, stamina, intelligence.

There’s only one time when the support system question led me towards support rather than away from it. Four years before I had my daughter, I asked my gynecologist if she could tell me what steps I should take to start trying to conceive on my own. She pointed me to a midwives’ clinic in a neighboring town and told me to take folic acid. Then she asked, “Do you have family that can help?” I shook my head, dreading what she’d say next about how hard it would be. She smiled warmly. “You’ll figure it out,” she said. “People figure it out.”

And so I am.

Becoming a first-time parent means navigating a world of new experiences. New sleep schedules, new social plans, new baby gear all over your house... While all of these changes are major adjustments, they don’t tend to feel as daunting as finding the right childcare for your baby.

Learning to trust your baby to someone else is a monumental experience, whether it’s a few weeks after birth or beyond their first birthday. Having someone earn that trust takes research, tours, and thoughtful questions. But beyond that, it’s also important to consider things like the connection between home and school, and what your child’s daily routine will be. These details can reveal how well a care provider's values align with your own.

Dr. Lauren Loquasto, senior vice president and chief academic officer at The Goddard School, says these deeper considerations can boost your confidence — especially if you start the search early.

“We never grow and develop as quickly as we do in the first 2,000 days of life,” she explains. “In these first five years, the foundations of all social interactions, communications, learning, and self-care are established.”

That’s why it’s essential to keep a few key factors in mind. Below, Dr. Loquasto shares smart childcare searching tips, plus fills parents in on what they should look for — from curriculum to safety — when choosing a childcare provider.

Tip #1: Start Your Search Early

You can never be too prepared — especially when it comes to childcare. In high-demand areas, parents sometimes start exploring options even before conception, Dr. Loquasto notes.

“Generally speaking, however, exploring childcare options should begin during pregnancy if infant care is needed. Infant programs are small with limited slots, so it is important to get a spot reserved at your preschool of choice.”

Tip #2: Bring Curriculum Into The Conversation

An educational curriculum might not be top of mind when considering infant care, but Dr. Loquasto says it should be, seeing as learning begins in infancy. A strong early learning program can shape your child’s overall development as they grow.

“The Goddard School has an innovative education program called Wonder of Learning which represents the most current research on how children learn best with a strong embedded focus on academics, social-emotional learning, creative arts, music and movement, outdoor learning, and technology,” Dr. Loquasto says. The Wonder of Learning curriculum encompasses infants through kindergarten and is intentionally designed with the flexibility for teachers to tailor the instruction to the interests of the children in each class.

Tip #3: Keep An Eye Out For Health & Safety Practices

A huge part of making sure your baby is well-cared for is ensuring that health and safety practices are prioritized throughout the caregiving facility. “Health, safety, and welfare of children should always be the top focus,” says Dr. Loquasto. “The Goddard School knows that health and safety is first, and this is considered in every decision made at the school.”

As you tour, look around for health and safety measures (think: secured cabinets or first aid kit access) and ask direct questions like:

• “What measures do you take to keep children safe and healthy?”
• “What’s your protocol for an emergency?”
• “What is your cleaning/sanitizing protocol?”

Tip #4: Observe Teacher-Child Interactions

Since your child’s teachers will be the people responsible for their well-being and development when you’re not with them, it’s important to observe how they interact with other children in their care.

“You should look for happy, engaged children and caring guidance from teachers,” Dr. Loquasto says. “Happy teachers lead to happy children in a preschool.”

Tip #5: Prioritize The Home-School Connection

During this critical time in your child’s life, the best way to reinforce the care your child gets at school is to have open communication with your childcare provider. At The Goddard School, this relationship is key to a high-quality early childhood education that makes way for healthy, sustained long-term development.

“Investing in a high-quality early childhood education provider is investing in a strong foundation for your child,” Dr. Loquasto says. “Many developmental and learning domains have critical windows, meaning there are prime times to maximize these areas.”

Tip #6: Come Prepared With Non-Negotiable Questions

No matter how much you prep, looking for a childcare provider is still a lot of work. Save some time by having a list of must-answer questions ready to go as you call around and start touring. Here are some that Dr. Loquasto recommends parents ask:

• “Please share with me what my child’s day will be like in this classroom.”
• “How is your school’s educational program designed to meet the needs of my child?”
• “How will I be communicated with about my child’s day and about my child’s progress in your program?”

With answers to these questions, plus all of Dr. Loquasto’s expert advice, you’ll be well on your way to finding a childcare provider for your growing family.

In February 2021, Grace Bagwell Adams, Ph.D., gave birth to her second child. It was the peak of the pre-vaccine COVID surge, and like so many who delivered babies during that intense chapter of the pandemic, Adams had carried fear and anxiety with her through her pregnancy. One week postpartum, she still didn’t feel right, so she returned to her OB-GYN. She told her doctor she was having “crippling” anxiety and she scored off the charts on the Edinburgh scale, the gold-standard screening tool for postpartum depression and anxiety.

“He said something along the lines of, ‘Well, it’s only been a week.’ And then he gave me a prescription for Klonopin,” she says.

Klonopin, the brand name for clonazepam, is a benzodiazepine — a class of fast-acting, short-term medications often prescribed for acute anxiety, panic, insomnia, and more. If you’ve heard of lorazepam (thank you, White Lotus), you’ve heard of a “benzo,” as the medications are called colloquially.

Adams had also been prescribed the opioid hydrocodone for pain. As a public health researcher, she knew the two medications could have dangerous, even deadly, interactions. Yet, overwhelmed and exhausted, she struggled to advocate for herself in the moment. When she got home, her husband called her doctor’s office and requested a prescription for Lexapro instead — a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI), widely considered part of a first-line treatment plan for postpartum anxiety. Adams never took the Klonopin; she started Lexapro the next day.

Her experience, though, led her to conduct a study on benzodiazepine prescribing patterns in the postpartum period. Published last June, Adams’ work found prescriptions for benzos rose by 17% during the pandemic. SSRI prescriptions, meanwhile, stayed flat.

Experts suggest that changes throughout the pandemic, including relaxed regulations on prescribing benzos and a lack of education around maternal mental health among providers, remain in place today, meaning prescription rates for the powerful drugs could still be elevated.

Make no mistake, benzodiazepines can play an important role in treating postpartum depression and anxiety, says reproductive psychiatrist and Mavida Health co-founder Sarah Oreck, M.D, particularly as a “bridge” to ease acute symptoms while waiting for longer-term treatments like SSRIs or therapy to take effect.

The problem? The pandemic pulled back the curtain on how often these medications aren’t being used or prescribed appropriately.

The rise of Rxs for benzos

The rise in benzo prescriptions during the pandemic comes as no surprise to Dr. Oreck: It’s well-documented that rates of postpartum depression, and especially postpartum anxiety, spiked during that time.

There are a few other things going on, too: First, in the context of pregnancy or postpartum care, she says that OB-GYNs are often the ones writing those prescriptions, as was the case with Adams. OB-GYNs sometimes serve as the first (and sometimes only) line of defense.

“I think this increase shows that OBs feel like they don’t have many tools in their toolbox,” says Oreck. “Benzodiazepines become a kind of reflexive option.”

Many physicians, OB-GYNs included, receive little training in mental health, even less in maternal mental health specifically. Despite maternal mental health conditions being the leading cause of death postpartum, OB-GYNs aren’t required to receive any formal training on the topic in medical school or residency.

Then, during COVID, benzos didn’t necessarily become more needed; they became more accessible, says Polina Teslyar, M.D., an instructor at Harvard Medical School and associate psychiatrist at Brigham and Women’s Hospital. “Before the pandemic, if you were prescribing a controlled substance — like a benzo, ADHD medication, or painkiller — you were legally required to see the patient in person.” During the pandemic, that rule was paused, which could have influenced prescribing patterns, she says. It’s a change still in effect today: The U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) is expected to issue final rules on how telemedicine prescribing of controlled substances will be handled long-term, but the details are still in flux.

And finally, a prescription isn’t proof that a medication was taken, reminds Dr. Teslyar — something that rings true in Adams’ case. Yet with the rapid expansion of telehealth and a workforce needing additional training, today’s medical system is more ripe for overprescribing.

The place of benzos in a postpartum mental health plan

While benzos aren’t a substitute for gold-standard, evidence-based care, like therapy, social support, and SSRIs, if taken and prescribed properly, they do have a place in a postpartum mental health plan — particularly for short-term panic or anxiety, especially when those symptoms are disrupting already fragile postpartum sleep, says Oreck. “They’re what we think of as a Band-Aid, not a cohesive treatment plan,” she adds.

Here’s one example of how benzos may fit into a treatment plan: If someone has started therapy or begun taking an SSRI to treat an underlying condition, but the SSRI may take four to six weeks to kick in, a benzo can help manage anxiety or panic in the meantime. Once the SSRI takes effect, you taper off the benzo, Oreck says.

That short-term relief was what Lauren Dana Ellman, a mom of twin 9-month-olds, needed. As soon as her OB-GYN walked into the room for her six-week postpartum follow-up, Ellman broke down in tears. She had been experiencing depression, anxiety, sleep deprivation, and hypervigilance about her babies.

“I told my doctor I didn’t want her to think I was going to do anything to myself or my babies, and she reassured me that she knew — but that nobody deserves to feel that way,” Ellman recalls. Her doctor referred her to a postpartum therapist and a psychiatric nurse practitioner, who prescribed the benzo lorazepam. “It was the only thing that helped me sleep when I was up worrying about when I’d have to wake up again for the babies, which prevented me from falling asleep in the first place,” Ellman says.

Although she was told she could take it nightly, Ellman found that didn’t work for her. “I hate feeling drowsy and having to work the next morning and function for the babies,” she explains. “I still take it sometimes, but on a very infrequent basis.”

Oreck says that’s typical. The postpartum population — especially those under medical care for anxiety or depression — tends to use benzos short-term and appropriately, particularly when combined with therapy or medications like SSRIs. These moms often don’t carry the same addiction risk profile seen in other populations, she says.

Still, even for new moms, daily use of benzos beyond two to four weeks can increase the risk of tolerance (needing more to get the same effect), dependence (physical adaptation), and withdrawal symptoms if the medication is stopped abruptly. Additionally, combined benzo and alcohol use can be “extremely dangerous” Tesylar says, as both are sedating.

When benzo prescriptions go awry

Oreck notes that there are “so many nuances” to prescribing psychiatric medications. She calls for more comprehensive psychiatric care postpartum — a gap her company, Mavida Health, is working to fill. One study of Adams’ found that among new mothers who filled a benzodiazepine prescription, over half (50.7%) also filled an opioid prescription, underscoring the need for clinicians to exercise enhanced caution.

Teslyar adds that while a benzo might help with sleep in the short term, “as a psychiatrist, I’m not going to start with a benzo.” She explains that these medications can actually disrupt long-term, deep, restorative sleep by altering the brain’s natural sleep architecture, or how you move through different cycles of sleep. “Who the patient is talking to matters,” she says, reiterating the idea that more access to specific maternal mental health psychiatric care in the postpartum period is critical.

Oreck also says that patients prescribed benzos often come to her questioning the vague frequency in dosage that Ellman experienced. What does “as needed” even mean?

“We don’t want anyone to panic or have a day of anxiety where you can’t function. But these are not medications to be handed out flippantly. They are effective but require a lot of counseling and should be taken responsibly,” Oreck said.

Of course, one of the biggest issues, both agree, is that benzos are not designed to be used long-term as they cause physiological dependence and have long-term side effects such as memory loss, falls (mostly in older adults), and sleep disturbances. But, in some rare cases, long-term benzo use is unavoidable. “Some patients don’t find relief from anything else — but that’s the exception,” says Teslyar.

And always, there should be other tools in the toolbox. “The only time a benzo is appropriate as a solo treatment is when someone has a specific, infrequent phobia — like a fear of flying — and doesn’t travel often,” says Teslyar. “In that case, taking medication every day doesn’t make sense, but it might help to take something just before flying.”

Advocating for your mental health postpartum

It’s an unfortunate but urgent truth: “We have to be louder,” says Oreck. “We have to stand up as patients and ask questions.” It’s better to have an uncomfortable conversation with your doctor than to take a medication you don’t fully understand, she says, especially without support.

So if a provider offers a prescription, don’t hesitate to ask:

• Can you give me more instructions about this?
• What side effects should I watch for?
• What are the risks?
• Can I take this with other medications?
• What time of day should I take it?
• How long will I be on this?

“There’s a lot of qualitative work showing that this dismissal by providers — this not listening, not taking women seriously — is an endemic problem in maternal health care,” says Adams. “It’s linked to maternal morbidity and mortality.”

Both self-advocacy and collective advocacy matter. Organizations like Chamber of Mothers, March of Dimes, and Postpartum Support International push for better care, more resources, and accountability around maternal mental health in the United States.

But above all, know this: Maternal mental health struggles are common and highly treatable. You don’t have to suffer in silence or navigate your journey alone. Reach out, ask questions, and demand the care you deserve. “My job as a physician is to let you know your options,” says Oreck. “It’s hard that this burden often falls on the patient. That’s a failing of the system — but together, we can change it.”

I’ve always been proud my hands look just like my mother’s, even though we’ve had a strained relationship for most of my life. That’s because my mother’s hands look like her mother’s hands, and I never had a chance to meet my grandmother Ruth, although I was named after her. Somehow knowing my hands connected me to my matrilineal line gave me a feeling of belonging.

When my husband and I decided to use donor eggs to have a baby, resemblance was one of my first questions. Would my child’s hands look like mine? Or would his or her appearance belong to another family I’d never met?

At the time my husband, Rob, and I were choosing a donor, whether our child would resemble me was one of my biggest worries. Not just our hands, but the rest of us, too.

After all, we are living in a time when ancestry and genetic connection seem more important than ever — with more than 15 million people around the world spitting in a tube to send their DNA to 23andMe as of October 2024. Meanwhile, our Instagram feeds are filled with moms and daughters in matching pajamas, and there’s been a continued fascination with twins and doppelgangers. I’d seen friends with new babies post photos on social media and watched as their followers oohed and aahed about how their children looked exactly like them. I’d even done it, once telling a friend her newborn was a replica of her. Her husband turned to me and said, “DNA, it’s a powerful thing,” and I shook my head and thought to myself: “Yes. Yes, it is.”

Of course when we began pursuing egg donation, I understood, and made peace with, the fact that I’d be carrying a fetus made from my husband’s sperm and a stranger’s egg inside my body for nine months. It seemed vital, though impossible, to know whether our resulting baby’s face would forever remind me of another woman. And in turn of what I thought of then as my own failure.

The more I immersed myself in the world of donor eggs, the more I realized I wasn’t alone. In Facebook groups I frequented, other donor-egg recipients clung to the field of epigenetics and the idea that our DNA can be modified by the environment. Epigenetics gave them hope that even though they didn’t share DNA with their offspring, maybe they could still look like them. For better or worse, I’d spoken to a few geneticists and knew enough to understand this was highly unlikely and not really how epigenetics worked. But I also felt the longing behind their desire, the yearning for proof there was no wedge between them and their child.

Illogical or not, resemblance seemed to be one of the primary emotional concerns of donor-egg recipients. From the outside, it’s easy to wonder why. What is it about family resemblance that is so persistent and powerful — even when we know resemblance has nothing to do with love?

We understand plenty of families adopt children who look nothing like them and still feel bonded with them. And even those who have kids who are genetically related to them don’t always look alike. In fact, when I told our fertility doctor I was worried about how important resemblance was in this whole process, he reminded me kids often come out looking more like distant cousins or even great-grandparents than their biological mother or father. And yet, the desire to see ourselves in our children lingers.

What is it about family resemblance that is so persistent and powerful — even when we know resemblance has nothing to do with love?

While I was pregnant, I kept thinking about a factoid I’d found in my research: A study out of Cambridge University revealed women who used donor eggs didn’t bond as easily with their babies. The 85 women in this particular study didn’t smile as much at their child or respond as quickly — and because of that, the child was less likely to involve its mother by holding out or waving toys. There it was, my biggest fear — that I wouldn’t feel as attached to our baby because we didn’t share a genetic connection — cemented in the research.

I made a note in my journal: “Make sure to smile at our baby.”

When I think about that study now, I think about its flaws. How much of the mothers’ lack of attachment to their children was connected to the fact they didn’t look alike? Maybe the stress and anxiety of parenting had gotten to them? And who’s to say whether those 85 mothers would have smiled at their babies more if they were genetically related? Maybe these ones were just nervous because they had researchers watching them from behind a two-way mirror?

And what did these early interactions predict about the future? A relationship is long, isn’t it? Just because these mothers didn’t smile at their children then, did that mean they never would?

Nonetheless, when I read the study at the time, I figured there was no way to tell whether I’d be a mother who smiled at my kid or not. I decided to be hypervigilant to cover all my bases. In my mind that meant my baby and I should look alike, and I figured the best chance of that was to find a donor who resembled me.

Each clinic has its own rules about how aspiring parents can access donor databases. For privacy reasons, some clinics don’t allow clients to see any photos of the donors at all. Others allow only baby pictures. Because of the Wild West nature of this still-stigmatized industry, matchmaking agencies have cropped up as intermediaries, offering to help prospective individuals and couples locate the “perfect” donor who will produce the golden egg.

As more and more women have decided to use donor eggs, the demand for eggs of different ethnicities, nationalities, and even religious backgrounds has blossomed, and clinics have found themselves in the awkward position of needing to “recruit” women from high-demand groups, offering them larger incentives to donate their eggs.

Of course, there are lots of reasons why someone might want a donor egg from someone of the same ethnicity as them, but resemblance is certainly one of them. Some egg banks offer AI-powered facial feature analysis to help identify donor matches who most resemble the would-be mother. When my husband and I were searching for an egg donor, that wasn’t an option for us at our clinic. In my desperation for something to control in that chaotic moment, I might have wanted to upload a photo of myself into the system. I might have believed that if we found a donor whose facial features looked like mine, it would mean magically our genetics would be that much more similar too.

I know now that resemblance is about so much more than whether your facial symmetry can be detected by an algorithm. And creating a family is about so much more than genetics.

Instead, a funny thing happened. We picked a donor, as someone in one of my donor-egg recipient groups suggested, who I’d “want to have a coffee with.” Another way of saying it is she seemed familiar to me. After flipping through photos of her as a baby, a toddler, and an adult, I told myself she looked like she could be my cousin. Not that I look like my actual cousins. But in theory she could have been my cousin.

Six years later, we have a 4-and-a-half-year-old daughter, and you know what? People who don’t know us exclaim “She looks just like you!” when we enter a room or walk down the street together. Just as often, though, strangers and even those who know us say “She looks just like her dad!” We’ve been told she also resembles a cousin and an aunt on her dad’s side. All the competing messages make me realize one thing: Everyone sees what they want to see.

I know I’m in our daughter’s facial expressions and in the intonations in her voice. When she looks into my eyes and says “Mom, we look like twins,” I know objectively that’s not true, but I take her to mean she feels so close to me — and I to her — that it almost feels like we’re the exact same person.

I know now that resemblance is about so much more than whether your facial symmetry can be detected by an algorithm. And creating a family is about so much more than genetics. Despite what we’re told in rom-coms and greeting cards, love isn’t automatic or even guaranteed. It doesn’t happen all at once either, but over minutes and hours and months and years. Love is a process of commitment, a practice — smiling at my baby is mothering. Mothering is also holding her as she cries. Mothering has nothing to do with looking like her, which of course I’d always known, but as I grasped for certainty during the chaotic time when I wasn’t sure if I’d ever have a baby, resemblance seemed like something tangible I could hold onto. Over time, through the act of caretaking, my love for my daughter has become so overwhelming that I can’t imagine having ever not loved her. Her hands don’t look like mine. And yet, there’s no question in my mind that she belongs to me, and I to her.

Ruthie Ackerman’s debut memoir, The Mother Code, is out now from Random House.

Through the muffle of both an interior door and an exterior one, I hear a chair scraping against pavers. Instantly, adrenaline courses through my body. I can hear the whoosh of my blood pumping in my ears, can feel a flat and unyielding pressure against my sternum and throat.

My eyes fly open, and I imagine the hairs on my arms and legs similarly standing at attention, but I have trained myself to stay perfectly still when this bodily response occurs, though every instinct I have is calling me to my feet. In slow motion, as if she will hear my eyeballs moving in their sockets, I shift my gaze downward to my baby. Her breath is light and warm against my chest. I have been holding her for over an hour, trying repeatedly to lull her with milk into a deep enough sleep that I can carefully — so, so carefully — rise from the reclining chair and take the six steps across the room to her crib, where I will attempt for the fourth time in an hour to place her like a piece of unexploded ordnance, not daring to breathe during the operation.

From the patio, I hear the noise again, and I recognize it immediately: the legs of our wooden outdoor furniture are dragging as N gets in and out of a chair. From my place in the noise-controlled, blackout-curtained nursery, where I am one sneeze or hiccup away from having to start the entire process over from scratch, the scraping sounds like a muffler dragging on the highway. My skin is hot with rage, which is just a cover for the deep despair that swells my whole body. My baby won’t sleep unless I am holding her. I am many many months past the breaking point of going without sleep, and without respite, without my body being under my own control. Under these circumstances, anything that threatens to wake the baby up feels like a direct “f*ck you” to me and my labor, and I know he is out there, my boyfriend, love of my life, inadvertently scraping the f*cking chair on the patio while I die of exhaustion and boredom in here.

The anger and powerlessness snake up my throat from my belly. The baby stirs — whether from the sound of the chair or from my sudden energetic shift, I don’t know — and I know this means I will have to reset my inner countdown at least another 30 minutes. Tears spill down my cheeks, hot and fast, splashing down onto the baby’s face, at the same pace that the rage crests inside my body and rises, like vomit, through my gullet. It wants out. It wants to scream. But I am the parent, not the baby, so I clamp my hand over my lips and try to let it noiselessly into the chamber of my mouth.

I was ready for PPD. But it didn’t come — at least not the way I was expecting it.

“Rage is an unmet need,” a friend often reminds me when we talk about our experiences — shared, but different — of postpartum rage. She’s a provider of mental-health services to perinatal people and the operator of the Mom Rage Art Studio, so I take her words seriously. They feel right. This language came up in all my conversations about postpartum anger. I wish I’d had their clarity.

For me, it was the noise. For other new parents, it might be something completely different, like perceived or real incompetence at taking care of the baby. For others, it is beard hairs in the sink or a chronically overfull trash can or the way he pronounces the word corduroy. Sometimes it’s the way she just gets up and leaves the house when she needs something. Or, most damning of all, simply his face, existing. Postpartum rage triggers are as diverse as they are affecting, but remain remarkably consistent in their targets: the near and the dear.

When I had my baby in 2020, I was well armed for the fight against postpartum depression. PPD is a predator you can see coming — it’s even got its own acronym! — so I assembled my defenses accordingly: therapist, postpartum group, partner, family, Expecting Better, some mindfulness sh*t I bookmarked on YouTube. I took a dutiful series of classes and handouts with the precise vibe of a D.A.R.E. class that taught me the things to watch out for. Sleeping too much, crying too much (how much is too much? No one can say), “persistent sadness,” and thoughts of self-harm. In other words, a version of the treatment-resistant major depression I have managed for most of my life, except now there’s a baby. I was on Prozac by the time Prozac Nation came out. I can clock a generic versus name-brand Zoloft, Paxil, and Lexapro on sight. I was ready for PPD. But it didn’t come — at least not the way I was expecting it.

I did not spend any of my days resting beatifically in bed, cradling my sadness like a Faberge egg.

I was imagining the kind of postpartum depression in the pamphlets, the ones where a gently mussed but otherwise beautiful woman rests dully in bed, the side of her unlined face pressed against the pillow but not giving her a weird double chin like I have in all my bed selfies. This woman is sad — we know this because she doesn’t meet our eyes — and the implication is that she has become persistently sad. This woman doesn’t want to play with her baby, doesn’t even want a croissant, and experiences all her feelings as if through a gauzy swaddle sack. She is sad, and it is so elegant.

I did not spend any of my days resting beatifically in bed, cradling my sadness like a Faberge egg. My regular schedule involved sobbing until I vomited and impulsively setting up dodgy legal trusts so that my kid would have money if I suddenly died. I was crusted at all times with milk and blood, forgot to eat for hours on end if my partner didn’t thrust food into my hands, and spent so much time screaming into a pillow that I worried the neighbors were going to call the cops.

Not one person or organization or text prepared me for the onslaught of emotions — some driven by hormones, others by circumstance — that I would experience in the early postpartum period. Rather than sadness or depression, I felt a profound and relentless overstimulation, to the point that it often felt like I was straddling a line between reality and psychosis, peering into an abyss that beckoned with promises of relief from the constant, impossible demand for my presence, my attention, my touch. It does not feel at all dramatic to say that I was fighting an unspoken battle every day, with the stakes being my sanity and very survival. I was unable to articulate that I was having a very bad time and that nearly anything my family did sent me to an 11. (I remember being in the midst of this, when my baby was a few months old, and thinking “Damn, I really dodged a bullet with the PPD.”)

In a way, though, my anger felt like the thing that kept me from leaning too far over the side of that particular ledge. It tethered me to the present and material world, where invariably someone was doing something loudly that they could nearly as easily have done quietly.

Because he was the only other adult, and because I tried mightily to not focus the energetic thrust of my anger onto our children, a lot of this landed on my partner. Whenever I read accounts of postpartum mood disorders, like Sarah Hoover’s excellent and aggressively honest takedown of her husband’s myriad failings in The Motherload, I am always scanning for who the asshole is. And in some narratives, like Hoover’s, it is obvious. I interviewed a parent whose partner decided to take up endurance running during their postpartum period, leaving the birthing parent alone for long periods with a newborn and a healing C-section incision. These situations are clear-cut. But what about more benign crimes of partnership?

“The smallest things would set me off,” Kelleigh Beckett told me. Beckett, who blogs about parenthood at Imperfect Homemaking, listed off her husband's crimes: “Breathing too loudly. Leaving dishes by the sink. Taking a ‘long’ shower when I hadn’t even brushed my teeth that day. It wasn’t just anger — it felt like fury.” This brought me back to the titanic power of my rage when my partner would, say, leave the house to pick up food. (For me!) I wanted the freedom to be able to leave, which is something many of the parents I spoke to echoed: that it was the feeling of being stuck in the domestic sphere, coupled with witnessing the freedoms of others, that triggered a sense of being trapped in rage.

Postpartum anger, just like the rest of women’s anger, is threatening and uncomfortable because it has demands — it’s rooted in unmet needs.

Nearly every birthing person I spoke to talked about being completely unprepared for postpartum rage. When asked what they knew about the phenomenon, I heard “I knew virtually nothing,” “not a lot,” “never heard of postpartum anger,” “I knew zero,” and “I had no idea postpartum rage was even a thing” or “I’d heard of postpartum depression… but postpartum rage? PMAD? Not at all.”

Anna Rollins, a parent in West Virginia, told me that she remembered saying to a friend “I think something’s wrong” — with her mood — “but I am not sad. I am mad.”

For myself and for many of the birthing people I spoke to, shame snaked alongside rage, making it that much harder to name and to address. What I was experiencing was so mismatched with the warnings or the pamphlets that I understood it to be a personal failing. It felt urgent that I “work on” (read: squash and vanish) my anger quickly and quietly before it harmed my family. I had a sense that my experience was somehow unmaternal, that it made me in some way a failure as a parent. I was meant to radiate warmth and smell like sugar cookies. Who was this feral, adult-shaped raccoon screaming into a pillow in the carport?

“An angry woman is dangerous, unpredictable, uncontrollable,” Lilly Dancyger reminds us in her essay collection First Love. “She must immediately be punished, shamed, or medicated back into complacency. Anger aims outward, disrupting systems and inconveniencing those in power.” Well, f*ck. Was this why we all find the sight of a suicidally depressed woman more palatable than that of an angry woman? Does she not make for a more elegant pamphlet?

Postpartum anger, just like the rest of women’s anger, is threatening and uncomfortable because it has demands — it’s rooted in unmet needs. My anger was screaming (literally) for a radically different standard of care. To start, federal paid parental leave, robust and proactive postpartum health care, and for someone to find the person who first wrote “sleep when the baby sleeps” and give them bedbugs. I needed time and space and silence and to have nourishing food delivered to my bedside. I needed someone to sit with me and to help take care of my baby without speaking. I needed my clothes cleaned and folded for me. I needed the work emails to stop. I needed money. I needed my partner’s full and undivided attention. I needed to not have to fight for or even ask for these things. I needed someone to anticipate my needs.

The degree to which these basic needs are unmet is so high and so pervasive, and to meet many of them, a lot of things would have to change. Systems must be disrupted; people in power must be inconvenienced. Perhaps the fact that many of us are wildly unprepared for postpartum rage is perhaps less perplexing than I thought. Perhaps we are scared of rage because it demands a conversation.

Margo Steines is the author of Brutalities: A Love Story. Her writing has been named Notable in Best American Essays and has appeared in The Sun, Slate, The New York Times (Modern Love), and elsewhere. A native New Yorker, Steines lives in Arizona with her family, where she teaches creative nonfiction writing classes and seminars.

It was November of 2020 and I was under the blue skies of Palm Springs, alone for the first time in nine entire months. I was experiencing that particular brand of tired and dumb that only comes after having a newborn or caring for children in a pandemic. At the time in my life, I had been crying a lot and living off my kids' discarded chicken nuggets (on good days, I'd add them to a bagged salad) and Zoom-schooling in survival mode. But there in Palm Springs, I remember walking in the backyard and staring at the clouds, my mind entirely empty, when I heard my friend Briana yell, "I made the new Ottolenghi recipe for dinner!"

Briana was my childless, high-powered friend that I got close with in college when we bonded through binge-watching Sex and the City during a snowstorm, then spent a semester attempting to master a pull-up in the gym (spoiler: we didn't). Our lives splintered after graduation — she'd become a producer on a kids' ninja warrior show that had her jet-setting around the world (yes, my kids are obsessed with her) and I settled into parenting my two small kids.

Settling in might be a strong word. It was more like I cannonballed into modern parenting, and then, well, sometimes drowned under the demands of it. In the thick of it, it was Briana and my other friends without kids who helped me see this intensity more clearly, and who eventually helped me find my way back to myself. (There is no one more horrified by child care expenses than my childless friends.)

When I was sent a 9 p.m. text reminder to acquire a balloon for my child's unicycle parade the next day, it was Briana who I texted, and her response was exactly the reality check I needed: “What in the actual hell is a unicycle parade and why does it require YOU to bring a balloon at 9 a.m.?”

Childless friends help me remember that while parenting is part of culture, it isn't the entirety of culture. And I do need that reminder. Culture is art and books and bad memes and haircuts based on TV shows. When my recent reads list is all parenting books, it was my childless friend Lara who sent me Demi Moore's autobiography. This is their gift.

And as my kids grow, my childless friends honestly are often a better source of wisdom than those parenting books. They are able to see my kids as people, not problems to solve.

When I tell Lara about something truly idiotic my son has done, her first response is the one I want to have, that of laughter. She loves to say, “I love that kid” in the way that people talk about a funny uncle or a co-worker, where their annoying aspects are part of a larger tapestry, and not a punch list of things I need to address, correct, or parent out of him.

Childless friends help me remember that while parenting is part of culture, it isn't the entirety of culture.

Lara was also the friend who put a temporary tattoo on my 6-month-old baby's neck, and had me howling with laughter in a season when I mostly howled with exhaustion. She reminded me that just because my baby wouldn't see it or remember it didn't mean we weren't able to have fun. She helped me remember my own joy counts, too.

And they've done this for me even when I haven't been able to return the favor and show up for them the way I'd like. My friendships are so important to me, but there have been times when I haven’t been able to show up like the friend I want to be, because of a season of parenting.

I'm embarrassed to say I have forgotten so many birthdays. I have been unable to go on trips I've been invited on. I have descended, for months, into winter plagues that meant I did not return texts. But over the years, I have found some things that help: I add the important dates of my childless friends to my calendar, because my brain is mush, and I want to remember their work and family events just like they remember and celebrate my kids and all their accompanying celebrations (too many!).

Asynchronous communication is also key — Marco Polo and voice notes are great for this. My schedule is the opposite of my childless friends — weekends and holidays are when I am head-down in parenting and unable to talk, so I catch up on my childless friends' weekend antics on my Monday morning walk after the kids are at school, and I leave a message about our weekend. But the gift of my childless friends is that after I think about the weekend, I also talk about books, politics, and my own dreams — things that are not parenting.

Because often when I have gone underground and radio silent with my childless friends, it wasn't because I thought they wouldn't understand my life. I have, at points, been so sunk by motherhood that a childless friend asking "how are the kids?" has sent me into an existential tailspin. Sometimes I cannot share with them because I cannot share with myself.

My childless friendships remind me that motherhood is madness, and that I am a person beyond it.

I've learned, though, that this is the time to pull out my real secret to friendships of all kinds: petty complaints. When you cannot talk big stuff, you talk small stuff. And you know who doesn't get to complain about petty things to people with kids? CHILDLESS FRIENDS. We are always out here out-complaining our childfree friends, but we should really be asking them for their dumbest, most inane gripes. A good petty complaint session over text can glue a friendship together across years of breastfeeding and gentle parenting and potty training.

It sounds silly, but the glue matters, because those friendships matter. In a culture that demands otherwise, Briana and Lara and Joe and Mel and all my childless friends remind me that my children are not at the center of my life. I am. My childless friends help keep me at the heart of myself, not my motherhood. My connection to myself is the actual motor of my motherhood; my ability to connect to my own feelings just as readily as I identify the feelings of my kids (read that again!) requires having a self that exists beyond being Mom.

When Briana booked a Palm Springs house and secured COVID tests to give me the gift of 24 hours without my kids after seven months of them constantly touching me, she was caring for me in a way that I know no parent could have.

When she called me in from the yard, the dinner table was set with linens with scalloped edges. Briana had set out water and wine glasses. I remember the taste of sweet potatoes and lamb and cinnamon, but mostly I remember lingering. I remember the blue sky outside getting darker, and losing track of the time, for the first time in months, not aware of bedtime, not aware of dishes, just aware of the smell of warmth. And in that moment, I came back to myself.

The balloon for the unicycle parade? I never got it. My kid didn't even notice. But the audio note of my childless friend laugh-crying about it? That was exactly what I needed. My childless friendships remind me that motherhood is madness, and that I am a person beyond it. The expansive blue sky in Palm Springs exists, even when I'm trapped in another bedtime fight. Knowing it's there, knowing the people who anchor me to it, and to the world, are there? They help tether me to myself, motherhood and all.

Kathleen Donahoe writes poems and essays to make women feel seen and powerful. Smart women who regularly shout out her work include: Anne Helen Peterson, Joanna Goddard, Virginia Sole Smith, Evil Witches. She writes free funny essays at alittlelaugh.substack.com and is working on a novel.

As critic-at-large for The New York Times, Amanda Hess is no stranger to a strong opinion and clear conclusion. But in her first book, Second Life, she joins the rest of us in the sleepless struggle to find the best (or best for us) way to step into the role of parent for the first time in a technology-saturated world. But medical complexity complicated Hess’ process even more: Far into her pregnancy, her son was diagnosed with Beckwith-Wiedemann syndrome (BWS), a rare congenital condition with varying outcomes, often characterized as an “overgrowth disorder.”

Part memoir, part tech reportage, part cultural criticism, and no parts parenting how-to, Second Life is an evocative glimpse into the anxious swirl of pregnancy and the early days of first-time parenting. It’s also a sobering exploration into how tech companies are offering answers where there may be none. Hess allows us to sit beside her as she dives into her phone, tech history, and medical and anti-medical message boards, to better understand her son, herself, and the digital world we’re all swimming in. We spoke about all this and more over Zoom one warm Friday afternoon from our respective bedrooms on either side of the country — me in San Francisco and Hess in Brooklyn.

Second Life is such a unique addition to the parenting book landscape. What kind of book did you set out to write, and why?

I had an idea a few years ago that I wanted to write a nonfiction book where technology played the role of a character. At the time, I didn’t know what that meant. But when I got pregnant, I immediately realized that I was forging a newly intimate relationship with my phone. I knew that it’s completely natural to grow a human inside your body, but I’d never done it before, and it was very alarming to me, so I was seeking reassurance everywhere I could — but not talking to people about it, especially at first. So I started taking notes and screenshots of the things that I was seeing.

Then later in my pregnancy, when it became complex, I had this horrible, superstitious feeling that by writing down funny anecdotes about my pregnancy, I had done something. So at that point, I forgot about the idea of a book. Then a few months later, I started to think that this superstitious feeling — which is not a feeling I typically have — was interesting, and all the other feelings of self-blame and shame that came along with that were too. I decided that I should actually write about that experience.

I also wanted to illuminate the larger structure that I was operating in, and the histories and ideologies that were being cycled through it. I know that some people want to read advice, but I barely know how to parent my own children, much less advise any other person on how to do that. I don’t have an answer for what we should do about all this stuff. For me, by better understanding the conditions under which technologies are made and the histories that they’re drawing from, I can demystify them, and they just turn into plastic and wires again.

Screens mediate so much of parenting life in your book — the phone, of course, but also monitoring devices and medical technology around your son’s diagnosis. Screens are access points, portals and interpreters during pregnancy and the early baby days. I’m curious now that both of your sons are older, is that mediation still an experience you’re having?

The time when it was most intense was when I was pregnant. Technology gave me my only relationship with my son other than this feeling of him moving inside me. One of the things that I wanted to write about was how much the images and expectations that I had built about what my son would be like were challenged by his actual personhood when he arrived. During pregnancy, I was using the Internet to try to assert intellectual control over the situation — like if I just had all the information, I’d be able to handle it.

I felt like by googling images of kids who have BWS, and googling online reactions to those children, I could understand what society really thought about my child. I think there’s an extent to which that’s true and an extent to which it’s not, and it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that I stopped using social media so much after my first son was born.

Can you imagine a different way for you to have had your pregnancy or the early baby days — or for other parents to? What’s the alternative to staring at the screen and collecting information?

I’ve found it really clarifying to stare at other stuff on my screen. Signing up for mutual aid WhatsApp groups or Slacks gives me the constant updates that my brain is wired to want. But the updates are about needs in our community and trying to find people who can fill them, as opposed to updates that create a false need for my family that I can fill by buying something. So it’s not that I necessarily use my phone less, but it’s been good to seed it with more positive habits and community.

Is there any new technology around kids that you’re looking at now, either as a reporter or a parent?

A lot of my book is about prenatal medical technologies, and for me, the problem is not that we have too many prenatal technologies or that they’re advancing too quickly. I think the problem is there’s so much investment into these technologies and so little in actually making our society accessible for disabled people and a good place to live for everyone. There’s not enough funding for medical research for humans who actually exist. I fear that because these prenatal technologies are being developed in a context that is increasingly anti-medical and where inequality is becoming so vast that this reproductive access gap is getting wider and wider, and that scares me. So it’s less about if a particular genetic test should be developed or not. I am worried about there being a really poor context for what’s happening.

Early parenting can be so lonely already, but you had your first son in the throes of the Covid pandemic, too. Since then, have you found new forms of community online, like in those mutual aid messaging groups, or in real life?

After I had my first son, there was a Covid vaccine, so that made things a lot easier! I had many friends who had kids at the same time that I did, but for a while, we were not going into each other’s homes, and older relatives were not coming into our home. Just that change has been such a relief. But also as my kids get older, they are finding their own community. I feel uncomfortable with this construction of myself as a capital-M Mother — an identity that exists somewhere outside of my personal relationship with my kids. When they choose their friends and favorite activities that takes the pressure off of me being the one who makes those kinds of decisions.

You once wrote an essay for Slate that’s still online about how you were opting out of kids, and now you’ve written a book about having them. How do you make sense of that division of selves — even if this one isn’t that comfortable with the label of capital-M “Mother”?

I think the more honest version of that essay that existed inside of me at the time was “Maybe, but I’m never going to meet someone who is going to be an equal partner, blah blah blah. I can’t imagine my life circumstances aligning in all those ways.” I think there’s a sense in which I’m glad I wasn’t worried about having kids as a young woman, because I was just living my life. But at the same time, I do think I was missing the structure of intergenerational community. If I had had that when I was in my 20s, I would not have been so freaked out about being pregnant and taking care of a newborn. Maybe I would have changed a diaper already! And if I’d felt like I was living in a community that had more structures of communal care, maybe I would have thought differently about when to have kids or if to have kids. I don’t know. I still feel like if pre-kids me saw myself now, she’d be like, “Wow, you wrote a book that’s so cool. But it’s about parenting?!” I don’t think she’d think that was cool. She lives inside me somewhere, but she’s not here now.

You write in the book about how this can be a very unique — and uniquely hard — moment to be a parent in part because of technology. But you also went back and looked at old parenting books that had bits of the same advice that’s out there today and considered how parenting has always been so hard. I’m curious where you land now: Is it tougher now to be a parent?

I think it’s so hard for me to understand anything outside of my particular experience. People talk a lot about how our society is more atomized now and it’s harder to draw on community and family help. Families are smaller. Grandparents are older. Everybody’s working. There’s not a one-income middle-class family anymore.

Definitely, those kinds of comparisons make it feel more difficult. But then I read a Dr. Spock book from the 1940s, and see all of the childhood illnesses that they had to deal with that have been eradicated in the United States — although I guess we’ll see if they come back now. Especially for anyone who’s in any way not a wealthy white man, every other era of history was really, really difficult, and of course, so is this one.

As for technology — when I go back and read parts of Guy Debord’s The Society and the Spectacle, which was written in the 1960s, I’m like, “Oh, this guy’s talking about right now.” So it’s not as if the dynamics of this mediation are completely new. But I do think it’s difficult to understand what technology would be like if it were not developed for profit. I see technology, and particularly social media, as functioning within a capitalist system. We need to be forced to be more productive and conditioned to buy more things, and the speed is always increasing. Maybe it feels the same way as when television started — I don’t know. But I think if I threw my phone into the ocean, it wouldn’t solve my problems. And if we all threw our phones into the ocean, they would just come up with something else. Technology is the way in which this system is sold and justifies itself now, but it’s not the root of the problem.

I was flat on my back under fluorescent lights, bellowing. The epidural had failed. The nitrous oxide had made me puke. Nurses in training had given me rough cervix checks. Labor was dragging me under, unmedicated and unstoppable.

A couple months earlier, I’d detailed my birth plan in a Canva template bursting with pastels. Something about my advanced maternal age made me feel I felt obligated to show up prepared. Every line was wavy and every corner was rounded. Across the top, suspended in a fluffy cloud, danced the words “BIRTH VIBES.” Suffice it to say, a failed epidural hadn’t made the mood board.

Birth is portal work, my friend Julia had told me over Vietnamese food months earlier, back when I was pregnant and just starting to draft my birth plan. I thought I knew what she meant — the birth canal as sacred, pregnant people as all-powerful beings creating life, the usual. She encouraged me to think outside the box of peace and calm. I could channel my ramped-up adrenaline and listen to wild screamy songs during labor; I could allow myself to feel indignant about the pain and use my anger and hurt as a source of power.

At 40, I believed myself to be naturally more prepared than most for the intensity and pain of labor. I had a high pain tolerance. I had tattoos, after all — I didn’t even keep a count anymore; that’s how many tattoos I had! And I had been devastated by trauma more than lots of other people I knew. I had lived through my little brother’s sudden death. Through the end of my 10-year marriage. Through a series of spinal surgeries, starting when I was a kid. And even then, roiling with preteen hormones and acne, I had said please and thank you! With a fresh titanium rod screwed into my vertebrae! The doctors and nurses had marveled.

When I tried to envision my ideal labor: as peaceful as possible, in a dim room with strummy music flowing from a nearby Bluetooth speaker. Folksy vibes. Or perhaps me, eyes closed, chanting along under my breath to a meditation piped through the headphones strapped to my ears as I circle on a birth ball, serene and composed. Zen vibes. Little lights flickering from trays and tables, casting a comforting glow, the air lavender-scented from puffs from a diffuser humming nearby. Spa vibes.

I pictured my partner at my side, weeping but also gazing at me wide-eyed, experiencing my admirable resilience, his capacity to be annoyed by me ever again evaporating. I pictured the nurses standing in similar unspoken awe of my mental strength and quiet fortitude.

As I pored over the floaty template, detailing what I wanted to happen during my first and likely only birth, I started every “Good Vibes” request with “please” and ended the “Bad Vibes” list with a smiley face. I molded myself into a shape I knew well: the chill patient. The cool girl. The easygoing optimist, down for whatever.

In the About Me section (there was room for a headshot), I wrote: “I am prepared for birth to be unpredictable.”

You know what they say: If you want to make God laugh, tell her your vibes.

I wasn’t the pastel template version of myself during birth, wise and composed. Instead, I was bellowing and writhing, sh*tting and scared.

The reality was that my induction took two days to take, and we spent most of it watching marathons of Swamp People. I never even got the tea lights out of the duffel.

Between all the Pitocin adjustments and beeping monitors and stops and starts, I kept telling myself there was still time to curate the vibe. Labor hadn’t even started yet.

But when contractions started, they ramped up fast. Instead of meditating and riding the waves of my labor, I writhed flat on my back in the bed, kicking my legs like I could jostle the pain off of me. The nitrous, the only pain management that had been on my Good Vibes list since the beginning, took an hour for the nurses to set up and then made me vomit generously into a barf bag I pressed to my face. Armageddon was playing on cable. Diffusers weren’t allowed because of asthma concerns. At some point the midwife quoted Jack Sparrow.

In short, the vibes were off.

The anesthesiologist was both nice and tall, just as the nurse on duty had promised. He had me hunch over the side of the bed while he prodded my spine. I felt my nerves light up as he pricked at my skin. I tried to stay still through the contractions, through my partner pressing his arms down on my shoulders as instructed so I wouldn’t move. “Ow, ow, ow,” I said as each contraction passed, and then “ow, ow, ow, keep going, keep going, ow, ow,” to make it clear that I didn’t want the nice, tall anesthesiologist to stop. Communicative vibes!

He finally placed the epidural and left, proud of himself, promising to check back in 10 minutes. I sank into the bed, clutching the sheets. When the next contraction hit, it tore through me as strong as ever.

“I have a gut feeling this didn’t work,” I said aloud. The nurse didn’t contradict me.

“Did that contraction feel any different?” she asked. I told her it hadn’t. Another one came, even sharper and longer, wringing my uterus like a dishrag.

Any vibe I’d imagined collapsed under the weight of reality. The contractions tearing through my body, the relentless march of labor. There was only one vibe now, and it wasn’t mine: I was about to raw dog birth.

For an hour, I pushed and roared and chewed on my chapped lips. I kicked and whimpered. They placed a mirror at the end of the bed and as soon as I raised my head to glimpse my baby’s head, I instead noticed a delicate turd resting between my legs. Later, the midwife said I was only a push or two away and I froze, knowing I was going to tear when I pushed again.

I wasn’t the pastel template version of myself during birth, wise and composed. Instead, I was bellowing and writhing, sh*tting and scared.

The “Birth Vibes” didn’t save me from pain. But the pain was beside the point, a means to an end. I felt the pain so I could birth my baby and also because I didn’t have a choice. My body and her body were working together for her to be born. I had to submit to the shape of my birth, not the other way around.

I felt a pop as the baby’s head came out, but no pain as my skin tore, as the midwife gave her a quarter-turn and guided her shoulders out, the rest of her body slipping out of me, the warm liquid of blood and amniotic fluid pouring out — the greatest feeling I’d ever experienced. Like taking the biggest sh*t of my life, plus having an orgasm, plus emptying a full bladder. A shock of pleasure and relief flooded my chest.

A nurse placed my daughter on my chest. I wish I could tell you that time slowed and I can recall every crisp second of first meeting her, but that time is a blur. In the photos, she’s wailing and purple, wrinkly and damp, and I’m looking into the phone lens agog and smiling, as if all of this took me by surprise. My fingertips barely rest on one of her flushed cheeks.

Just a couple minutes later, the timestamps tell me, I pulled her close, pressed our faces together, closed my eyes, and breathed her in for the first time. This moment I do remember. I felt alien to myself, leaking and ripped, but I was also beginning to soar on endorphins. I’d grown our daughter in my body for 10 months and then birthed her and felt it all, down to the seams getting stitched up in my torn body. My Pisces baby, crashing through my self-important vibes, delivered on a tide of rain and tears.

Holding her, I knew what it felt like to be remade.

Of course you step into the void clutching your pastel printout. What else is there to do?

Around 4 a.m., hours after I gave birth, the three of us were settling into our postpartum room, alone together for the first time. My partner opened the box of tea lights and placed them around the room — the ones I had envisioned and proudly packed. They’d sat untouched in the box, forgotten by the whiplash of labor kicking in.

He took out one light at a time, held it in his hands and turned it over to switch it on. Then he placed them around the room, beneath the television, on the tops of cabinets, amidst the monitors. The little wicks glowed, softening the edges of all the corners, embracing the plastic sides of the bassinet where our baby slept, swaddled and calm.

We knew the first nights with our newborn could easily take a turn. But the tea lights made the room feel peaceful and warm, exactly the vibe I had imagined for birth. We agreed: such a good plan, to bring them.

I would ruminate on my birth for weeks after, the scenes replaying in my head as I nursed her on the couch at 3 a.m. or stared out the window as she napped in the bedside bassinet. I thought I understood what Julia had meant when she’d called it portal work, but after I gave birth, the truth of it was alive and undeniable, in my body and in my life. The portal of birth transported my child from not-being to being. Transformed me from someone imagining motherhood to someone doing it. It wasn’t a feel-good metaphor. It was a portal as real as death, a force I’d been obliterated by before, when I lost my brother.

I should have known then that you can’t curate a portal. You can only get wrecked by it, and then try to live in what comes after. There’s no choice but to show up unprepared for the unknown. Of course you step into the void clutching your pastel printout. What else is there to do?

Lindsey Markel lives in Illinois and has been oversharing online since dial-up. She publishes zines and essays on Substack.

You do a lot of prep work before welcoming a baby. You pack the bags and you install the car seats and you rearrange your entire life to squeeze another human into it. And once baby is here, it feels unfair to have to make any other decisions. You did the hard work. You had a whole baby. You should be able to turn your brain on autopilot for a little bit.

And actually, that’s one of the most beautiful things about a maternity leave. The bonding and the recovery and the caregiving part is obviously necessary and important, but a lot of it can happen in front of a TV show. This is a chunk of time when you can snuggle up with your baby and let your brain turn to mush.

Which brings us to another big decision: finding the perfect low-stakes television to imprint on for your maternity leave. Because the thing about these shows is how much they will stick with you — not because of the storylines or characters, but because of the time in your life when you’re absorbing them.

One day you’ll hear one of these theme songs and be instantly transported back to your couch and how the sun would come in a specific, watery kind of way at 6 a.m. and your baby would be stirring and you’d feel like the most exhausted person in the world. One day someone will mention one of these characters — a Claire Dunphy or RuPaul or President Josiah Bartlet — and it’ll feel like another era of your life, this weird fever dream when the days blended together in a solid mass of hormones. You’ll remember crying and your breasts leaking and diaper changes. You’ll remember being resentful of your partner and then overwhelmed with gratitude for them. You’ll remember how much you wanted the time to speed up and slow down, all at once.

All because of a TV show.

These shows are meant to be low-stakes and easy to watch. They’re meant to have a good, engaging plot, but not one so complicated that if you miss 15 seconds to look for a pacifier, you’re now completely lost. They have well-developed characters and funny writing and great hosts and just enough drama to make you thankful that all you’ve had to deal with that day is cleaning your breast pump.

These are the perfect shows for maternity leave. The perfect mush-brain stuff to watch in between sniffing the folds of your baby’s neck. The perfect background noise to becoming a mom.

Modern Family

This was my go-to show on maternity leave with my third (and last) baby. I came to it for the humor, but I wasn’t expecting to find each episode so moving. Whether you’re a Phil Dunphy or more of a Jay Pritchett, Modern Family will help you fall a little bit deeper in love with your own new family. This show is low-stakes in the best possible way — like if you miss an episode or nod off during the middle 10 minutes, you aren’t going to be completely lost — but it’s still got well-developed characters, engaging storylines, and laugh-out-loud writing. The little monologues at the end will absolutely make you cry, but in the best way.

You can stream Modern Family on Peacock and Hulu.

Love Is Blind

If you want something extremely (and I mean extremely) low-stakes and also incredibly entertaining and also a show you can completely ignore if your baby needs something and come right back to without missing anything important — then you want Love is Blind. This reality dating series is kind of hilarious, occasionally painful, but does have some sweet moments (and also some enraging ones). In other words, it’s the perfect show to watch when you just want to zone out with a sleeping baby on your chest and eat a mediocre lasagna one of your neighbors gave you that isn’t that good but at least you didn’t have to make it.

You can stream Love is Blind on Netflix.

Dawson’s Creek

For a nice dose of hormone-tinged nostalgia, consider Dawson’s Creek for a mat leave marathon. The show is ridiculously melodramatic, but you will find pure comfort in the many (many) love triangles (and... squares?). If you need a reminder that you’re going to be a good parent, just watch the parents on this show for two seconds. It’ll do wonders for your confidence. Also? The soundtrack is amazing.

You can stream Dawson’s Creek on Disney+ and Hulu.

Parenthood

Maybe a little too on-the-nose, but Parenthood the show is based on the 1989 film of the same name (which should also be on your watch list) and is lovely in an unchallenging way. It has an all-star cast — including Craig T. Nelson, Lauren Graham, and Dax Shepard — and the entire series follows this sweet Braverman family’s three generations as they grow and change and experience grown-up life.

You can stream Parenthood on Disney+ and Hulu.

RuPaul’s Drag Race

It’s messy, it’s funny, it’s glamorous, and there are a bunch of spinoffs and a ton of episodes, so you never have to leave RuPaul’s perfect sequined world. Just cocoon yourself and your baby in there, where the biggest drama you have to face is if the false eyelashes stay on or not (while also feeling deeply emotional for the people who get to be their authentic selves). What a gift.

You can stream RuPaul’s Drag Race on Paramount+.

Friday Night Lights

OK, if you haven’t seen it yet, here are all the components of Friday Night Lights that make it the perfect maternity leave show, even if you’re not into football:

• Character to fall in love with by the name of Coach Eric Taylor — a good and flawed dad and husband, a man who gives it his all, a coach who sees the best in his players and expects that best, always;
• Melodrama between teens, between adults, between a whole town of adults who never quite grew up;
• Epic soundtrack;
• Long episodes full of many storylines that don’t often make it into the next episode

You will be saying “Clear eyes, full heart, can’t lose” to yourself over and over, I promise you. And Connie Britton shines in this one.

You can stream Friday Night Lights on Prime Video and Apple TV.

The Vampire Diaries

Vampires are known for being a wee bit dramatic, and the ones in The Vampire Diaries are no exception. Listen, this unsubtle show is all about a supernatural town called Mystic Falls, and the teen drama and romance is off-the-charts mindless and good. Bonus: There are over 160 episodes. Perfect for cluster-feeds, pacing around the living room as you bounce your baby, and folding impossibly small onesies.

You can stream The Vampire Diaries on Peacock and Max.

The Mandalorian

That step into parenthood brings a whole lot of emotions, and honestly, The Mandalorian works through similar ones beautifully. This is a TV show in the Star Wars universe, but you don’t have to be a huge Star Wars fan to enjoy watching the (unfortunately, helmeted) Pedro Pascal uphold the honor of his people while also keeping a tiny Baby Yoda safe from those who want to harm him. You might also start to think your own newborn looks a lot like Baby Yoda, and I promise that’s totally normal.

You can stream The Mandalorian on Disney+.

How I Met Your Mother

Not only is this a sitcom with a million seasons (more time for imprinting), but the tender conceit of How I Met Your Mother vibes perfectly with new motherhood: Ted is literally sharing with his kids about how he met and fell in love with their mom. Now depending on who you ask, the series finale has a lot to answer for, but Barney Stinson has a pretty gorgeous redemption arc that any new parent is going to feel emotionally invested in.

You can stream How I Met Your Mother on Netflix, Hulu, and Disney+.

Nashville

If you’re a fan of the soapy melodrama genre but don’t want a show that’s terrible and boring, Nashville is your gal. Bonus if you’re into country music, but even if you’re not, this show starring Connie Britton and Hayden Panettiere will have you fully committed to even the most ridiculous subplots. (You’re also going to fall in love with Deacon Claybourne, and honestly, every postpartum girly needs a new crush.) Fair warning: There will be a tough postpartum storyline a couple of seasons in, so if you think you’re maybe not ready for that, stop about halfway through Season 3.

You can stream Nashville on Disney+ and Hulu.

Rugrats

If you’ve got older kids to entertain while you are glued to the couch, all of you will enjoy this Nickelodeon rewatch. Listen, Stu and Didi Pickles feel much more relatable when you’re marathon-watching Rugrats as an adult with your own babe — but the show still never misses. Prepare to love it even more as a parent and catch all the feels on some particularly iconic episodes, like one where Tommy’s sick, the Mother’s Day episode, and of course baby Tommy’s memories of being in the NICU and wanting his mommy. Sob. Plus, it just doesn’t get more comforting than going back to your childhood for a bit when you become a mom.

You can stream Rugrats on Paramount+.

House Hunters

If you’ve ever browsed Zillow just for funsies or wandered into an open house in your neighborhood out of sheer curiosity, please consider the House Hunters universe for your maternity leave. From House Hunters International to House Hunters on Vacation and even House Hunters: Million Dollar Homes, you might find it comforting to watch a bunch of people you don’t know pick a house you’ll never set foot in while you rock your baby to sleep.

You can stream House Hunters on discovery+.

The West Wing

Motherhood is political, and you know that. So if you want a show that’s low-stakes enough to make you feel human while recovering from childbirth, but also want something that keeps your fires going and makes you want to scream, “Hell yeah,” while your baby naps next to you, then you want The West Wing. Aaron Sorkin delivers a liberal fantasy like no one else, and the further we get from 1999, the more sentimental it feels. This series has an incredible cast (two words: Allison Janney) and a whole lot of heart. It’s even better on the rewatch.

You can stream The West Wing on Max.

The Golden Girls

Everybody needs a village when they become a parent, and I’m proud to say I consider Dorothy Zbornak, Sophia Petrillo, Blanche Devereaux, and Rose Nylund mine. Not only are these characters funny and sharp, but they also feel like they want to wrap you up in a blanket and take you to the kitchen for a slice of cheesecake. When the baby won’t stop crying, this is the energy you need. Start from Episode 1 and feel truly thankful they are your television friends.

You can stream The Golden Girls on Disney+ and Hulu.

Teen Mom

I’ll be very honest with you: Teen Mom will make you cry. The early seasons of this show are extremely real and emotional as you watch teenage parents (many with not-so-great homes and support systems) try to raise their babies, and you’ll seriously consider adopting all of them and raising them alongside your own newborn. But there are tons of episodes and a lot of drama, and a few seasons in, they’re all rich and buying mansions and the stakes get much lower.

You can stream Teen Mom on Paramount+.

Party Of Five

OK, bear with me — yes, Party of Five is about five orphaned children. But there’s the sweet comfort of a ’90s drama plus a whole lot of heart. Also, Scott Wolf. This also might be the most relatable house on TV for families, and you’re going to realize it’s because set decorators wanted it to look believable that kids were in charge. And that might make you feel a little bit better about the state of your own kitchen counters.

You can stream Party of Five on Apple TV and Prime Video.

The Brady Bunch

When the Diaper Genie is overflowing and the smell of curdled formula seems to be expanding out of the drain and you’re still wearing the same leggings from two days ago, let The Brady Bunch be your light. It is so low-stakes that it almost doesn’t feel real, and there is great joy in a show where everything — and I mean everything — is wrapped up in less than 30 minutes. No lingering storylines, no continuity, just pure brain mush with a side of baby gurgles (your own).

You can stream The Brady Bunch on Paramount+.

The amount of stuff you have to buy before having a baby feels overwhelming — and that’s because registry guidelines and “comment ‘mama’ for my #1 baby gear picks” and retailers want you to feel that way. They want you to agonize over the right stroller, they want you to swipe up to their Amazon storefront and make it easy on yourself, they want you to feel panicked and stressed so they can swoop in and rescue you.

But we want to talk about the stuff you want for your baby. The stuff you dream about buying when you think of motherhood. Not the, yes, totally necessary diapers or the anti-colic bottles or the burp cloths — but the stuff that feels impractical. The stuff that other people will swear up and down they “never used” and the products that are a huge “waste of money.” The things your baby can’t even really enjoy yet, like rocking horses and coin banks and cashmere blankets — but are the things you can enjoy, the things you finally get to buy because you’re about to be a mom, the things you know you’ll think about forever.

Because these are the things you lovingly touched as you wandered up and down the aisles of your favorite store’s baby aisle. These are the things you held out to a friend and said, “Omg, when I’m a mom, I’m totally getting this.” These are the things that made motherhood feel real to you. You get to make motherhood look like anything you want it to. And you get to buy the expensive baby bonnets so your newborn looks like a storybook character if you want and you get to buy them their first guitar when they’re still in utero and you get to buy the children’s books from your own childhood to read them.

And that’s what we’re leaning into for the 2025 Romper Registry. We aren’t telling you the best diaper pail to buy or which diaper bag is the must-have or which baby pajamas are easiest to put on in the dark; we just want to remind you that you’re allowed to buy baby things that make you happy. Even if you only get one use out of them. Even if they’re in a closet most of the time. Even if your baby can’t even touch it until they’re 5.

The Baby Items They’ll Wear Like, One Time

Converse Chuck Taylor All Star Cribster Sneaker

DSW -

Baby’s first Converse? Obviously. Look, you know tiny baby shoes are impractical and a waste of money, but how can you resist? These Converse cribster sneakers are so sweet, and they won’t affect baby’s feet as they’re basically like a little slipper to wear — but, you know, adorable.

Dusty Blue Personalized Baseball Hat

Rey to Z -

I just love all the personalized things, especially when they’re done simply like this personalized baseball hat from Rey to Z. Imagine a whole fam of these matching hats, or hanging this one on a hook as you wait on your baby to arrive. You could even use it to announce their name when they’re born.

Daisy Flower & Moss Crown

BabyBirdieBoutique/Etsy -

Is this not the sweetest photo prop you’ve ever seen? This daisy flower and moss crown is so egregiously cute, and I love the idea of keeping it for baby to wear when they’re older and grown as a sweet reminder of how small their tiny perfectly-smelling head used to be. You could easily preserve this in a frame or shadow box as well.

Soft Slippers

H&M -

Baby slippers maybe be impractical, but life is short. These soft slippers from H&M have that stretchy elastic band so they’ll stay on baby’s feet, and honestly, they’re kind of perfect if you keep losing socks.

Neutral Take Me Home Gown with Bonnet

Feltman Brothers -

Choosing an outfit to bring your baby home from the hospital in is a huge milestone. It’s something you dream about, imagining your own baby in those footed jammies and tiny cardigans. So it’s 100% worth it to buy something like this take me home gown from Feltman Brothers, even if you know they’re never going to wear it again. You’re not going to get that day back, so whatever outfit you want your baby to come home in, make it happen.

Baby Chick Hooded Terry Robe

Carter's -

You’ve probably got tons of hooded towels, but do you have a hooded robe in your closet? This baby chick hooded terry robe from Carter’s is too cute to pass up, and I just love the idea of putting your baby in a robe after their bath, even if it’s only going to be on for a 30-second photoshoot.

Peachy Keen Polarized Sunglasses

Babiators -

How silly does it sound to buy a pair of baby sunglasses? But what if the ones you buy actually have UV protection and are really about keeping baby sun-safe and not just looking cute? (Although, trust, baby will look so cute.) Don’t let anyone shame you about buying a cute pair of Babiators — these glasses are polarized with UV protection and also help keep reflections and glares off of water, snow, sand, and ice away from baby. Plus, babies in sunglasses? You can’t argue with that.

Quincy Mae Woven Ruffle Bonnet

Rylee and Cru -

You know a baby bonnet will only fit for a few months, and you know you might take it off as soon as it’s time to buckle baby in the car seat, and you know the climate may be all wrong for it — but if you want a sweet, storybook-worthy baby bonnet like the Quincy Mae woven ruffle bonnet from Rylee and Cru, then please do not hesitate. This sweet bonnet is light enough for warm summer days, and it’s perfect for outdoor walks, baby’s first visit to church, or just sitting on the front porch on a Sunday afternoon.

The Nursery Items Everyone Told You To Skip But We Think Are Worth It

DaVinci Jenny Lind Changing Table

Modern Nursery -

A changing table used to be a common piece of baby gear, but now I feel like I often see this on the list of “impractical” baby items because it has such a specific use. But let me tell you, there was nothing in the world like having a changing table — I used it constantly, and I also just felt this deep swell of joy having such a baby-specific item in my home. The DaVinci Jenny Lind changing table has lasted 11 years in our family — through three babies — and it’s still the easiest way to change my 3-year-old and get her ready for the day.

Mongolian Cashmere Pointelle Baby Blanket in Oatmeal

Quince -

Babies can’t have blankets in the crib, you know this. And it’s really not safe to let them snuggle with one on the couch or while co-sleeping either, but who can resist buying their baby their very first blanket. This Mongolian cashmere pointelle baby blanket is so unbelievably soft — and easy to wash — and will last for literally ever. It’ll be one of those baby blankets they’re packing off to go to college.

Joseph Altuzarra Hot Air Balloon Mobile

West Elm -

Baby mobiles seem to be on their way out, and I’m not sure why. This is one of those things I daydreamed about buying a baby one day, and I especially love the Joseph Altuzarra hot air balloon mobile from West Elm. Not only is it so sweet to hang over a crib or changing area, but it’s big enough to continue hanging in their toddler and big kid versions of their bedroom.

Bear Woven Kids Hamper with Handles

Crate & Kids -

There are cheap laundry hampers, sure, but like, why not get a little whimsical with it? This bear woven kids hamper from Crate & Kids doubles as storage and decor, and with the handles, it’s so easy to carry to the laundry room when you need to. It’s also incredibly sturdy and — trust me on this — holds a lot of laundry. The lid on top really helps keep it from looking messy in a corner of the room, too.

Ceramic Moon Nightlight

Pottery Barn Kids -

There are so many new lights and sound machines available now, and everybody has their favorite — but I loved a nightlight as a kid, and I wanted that same comforting, ‘90s glow for my kids. I knew my babies slept best in darkness, but this ceramic moon nighlight is perfect for hallways and bathrooms so you can find your way down the hall at midnight for a feeding, or if baby’s rooming with you, use it in your own room for the most whimsical, soft glow. They’ll definitely appreciate it when they’re a little older and starting to have fears of the dark.

Painted Toy Chest

Pottery Barn Kids -

Toy storage seems silly to worry about when your baby is so small that they’re basically the size of any toy you’d put in the box, but this painted toy chest from Pottery Barn Kids is worth the buy. Not only does it help tie a nursery theme and decor together, you can use it to store blankets, crib sheets, stuffies, whatever you want until they’re big enough to fill it themselves. And the personalization? The kind of thing you dream about.

Dreft Stage 1: Newborn Hypoallergenic Baby Liquid Laundry Detergent

Target -

People are going to tell you that Dreft is a waste of money. That you could just wash your baby’s clothes in whatever detergent you’re already using, that there’s really no reason to buy something separate — but maybe they just shouldn’t be listened to. Listen, Dreft is a great choice because the detergent is created with baby’s sensitive skin in mind, but also? It just smells so lovely. I used to daydream about doing my first load of baby laundry and shoving my face into the basket to breathe in that sweet baby smell, and Dreft makes that happen. It’s an absolute milestone worth having and enjoying.

100 Acre Wood Map

ElephantGiraffeGifts/Etsy -

Building our your nursery or space for baby — even if it’s just a corner of your room — is such a dreamy time. No matter how big or small your budget is, whether you have a theme or not, you should always incorporate a little something that feels magical and nostalgic to you, like this 100 Acre Wood map from Etsy. It’s an exact replica of the map inside the original Winnie-the-Pooh books, and it’s just so cute and brings a huge dollop of cottagecore warmth and joy to your baby prep.

The Timeless, Vintage Gifts That Will Last Forever

Engraved Reed & Barton Race Car Coin Bank

Things Remembered -

It feels very Richie Rich, but heirloom gifts are always such a sweet thing to purchase — or receive — for your baby, and this engraved Reed & Barton race car coin bank is just darling. It’ll last for literal years, and is one of those baby things that you know your child can pass down to their own children. It doesn’t matter that your baby has zero concept of money yet — still worth it.

Maple Rocking Horse

Fifth Room -

A wooden rocking horse has always been my can’t-resist baby purchase. There’s something so endearing and whimsical, and this maple rocking horse from Fifth Room is made to last. You can hold your tiny baby on it, but before you know it, your toddler will be rocking with absolute glee — and this rocking horse will become a core memory. You don’t have to wait to buy it if you don’t want to.

'The Complete Tales of Winnie-the-Pooh' written by A.A. Milne, illustrated by Ernest H. Shephard

Barnes & Noble -

You’re going to have a nursery full of board books and those little thin books that are meant for them to chew and try to tear in half, but don’t let your heart miss out on a gorgeous copy of The Complete Tales of Winnie-the-Pooh. It’s OK that baby can’t hold it or that they’re aren’t contrast-heavy illustrations for their little unfocused eyes to zoom in on — it’s enough that you love it and remember it and want to read it out loud to them.

Personalized Child Rocker

Miles Kimball -

A tiny rocking chair is the sweetest accessory for a little one — whether you pop it out on the porch with your own matching rocker or just have it in a corner of their room, it’s such a great piece for them to have as their own. We have a similar rocking chair from our first daughter that’s lasted 11 years through two additional girls, and it’s still their favorite spot to sit while I braid their hair. Personalize this one and they’ll cherish it forever.

Engraved Silver Beaded Baby Rattle

Things Remembered -

Silver baby gifts used to be the norm, and I love the old-fashioned charm of them. This engraved silver beaded baby rattle from Things Remembered is another heirloom toy that your kids will keep forever, and it feels like a sweet nod to tradition and legacy and love. You know your baby can’t play with it and gnaw on it or shake it in the car — but if you want one for them anyway, then go for it.

The Sentimental Items That Are More For You Anyway

Mud Pie First Tooth & Curl Treasure Chest

Nordstrom -

I’m obsessed with these Mud Pie first tooth and curl treasure chests, whether you keep them out on display or pop them into a trunk or storage. Milestones like this feel so major, but what the hell are you supposed to do with a human tooth? Having an adorable little spot for them justifies your sentimentality.

Fujifilm Instax Mini SE Instant Camera Bundle

Walmart -

Remember: this is your journey to document however you want. I have a million photos on my phone of my babies when they were born, but some of my favorite photos are the ones I snapped with our Fujifilm Instax Mini SE Instant Camera. I keep them all in a box in our living room — after I date them on the bottom — and it’s such a treasure trove to look through. These are super easy to slide into a baby book our journal immediately, because Lord knows you won’t be going to Walgreen’s.

Mini Classic Trunk

Petite Keep -

There are so many things you’ll want to keep — baby shower cards, hospital bracelets, their first tiny onesie — and this mini classic trunk from Petite Keep is just so lovely for having them all in one place. These are super easy to stack in a closet if you want, but they’re also cute enough to leave out as decor or put on a bookshelf and reminisce whenever you want.

Baby Book | The Story of You

Artifact Uprising -

So many baby books feel overwhelming (and, honestly, aren’t that cute), but The Story of You baby book from Artifact Uprising is incredibly easy to keep up with. You don’t have to be a writer to keep your baby’s story alive, either — this journal is full of gorgeous, thoughtful prompts, and with the purchase, you can even order prints of baby photos so they’ll fit perfectly into the pages.

The Stuff You Want Now To Make Traditions Later

Neutral Custom Birthday Crown

Flower Lane -

It wasn’t until after I had my first baby that I read a story of a woman who sang “Happy Birthday” to her babies each time they were placed on her chest. Something about that just really stuck with me, and now I want every new mom to consider celebrating her baby’s first birthday when they’re born. This gorgeous neutral birthday crown from Flower Lane would be so fun to pack in your hospital bag and then so special to use for every birthday after.

Felt Happy Birthday Garland

Meri Meri -

Much like the birthday crown, going ahead and purchasing this felt happy birthday garland from Meri Meri helps create a tradition right from the beginning for you and your little family. How fun would it be to string this up in your hospital room after you move into recovery? Or have hanging at home when you walk in with baby? Celebrate all the birthdays — especially that first official one.

Shakespeare Catch More Fish Youth Spinning Rod & Reel

Bass Pro -

Maybe you went fishing with your family when you were little. Maybe your partner is a big fisher and has dreams of taking your babe out on the water. Either way, if you can’t wait to buy your little one their first fishing pole, don’t wait. Use it as — you guessed it! — decor, or just keep it somewhere special until your baby is old enough to hold it and use it and make all your motherhood dreams come true.

The Toys They Aren’t Ready For Yet, But You Can’t Wait To Buy

Crochet Baby Ball & Glove

WhimsyCrochet/Etsy -

If you’re a baseball family and you’re dreaming about all those sweet newborn photos of your baby and their first glove, please consider this crochet ball and glove set from Whimsy Crochet on Etsy. It’s just so soft and adorable and would look great as nursery or bedroom decor once the photos are done. I can’t get over how cute the little soft ball is.

Ball Pit + 200 Pit Balls

Little Big Playroom -

Listen, ball pits can be messy. And of course your newborn isn’t ready for one, but if you love the idea of being That Mom and daydreamed about all the fun you and your baby could have with one, go ahead and snag a ball pit and 200 pit balls from Little Big Playroom. Not only do these come in aesthetically pleasing colors, but my girls are now ages 10, 6, and 3, and they still routinely climb into ours. It’s held up so well, and even the balls are still in great shape.

Loog Mini Acoustic

Loog Guitars -

The amount of tiny musical instruments out there for babies is impossible to quantify, from tiny pianos to drums and tambourines, and if you come from a musical family or are just itching for your babe to be a rockstar the minute they’re born, the Loog mini acoustic guitar is irresistible. With just three strings, this guitar is meant to teach kids as young as 3 how to play some chords and get comfortable with the guitar, and it’ll look cute until then.

Rose Garden Fairy Wings

Little Adventures -

Every baby deserves a pair of fairy wings, and this sweet rose garden fairy wings set from Little Adventures is built to last. It will work for them from toddler age all the way up to big kid status. I daydreamed about things like rain boots and fairy wings for my girls, and it felt so special to be able to buy them.

Radio Flyer Classic Red Wagon

Radio Flyer -

Is there anything more classic than a kid and their Radio Flyer red wagon? Of course baby can’t pull this one yet, but feel free to use it as nursery decor or pop them in it for some baby photos until it’s time to chase them in the backyard with their little red wagon.

Baby Puppy Plush with Teether

Carter's -

You know they can’t sleep with it yet, you know they don’t really know it’s a puppy yet, and you know they for sure don’t have any teeth yet, but this little puppy plush with teether is such a sweet first lovey to buy your baby. Even if it just sits adorably on a shelf until they’re ready, that’s reason enough to buy it.

Uncle Goose Classic ABC Blocks

Colored Organics -

OK, wooden ABC blocks don’t sound like a great idea when your baby can’t even hold their own head up, but man, doesn’t it feel like the ultimate mom purchase to pick up these Uncle Goose classic ABC blocks? Just pure nostalgia. And, like many of the toys on this list, these work great for nursery decor until your baby is ready to start building and toppling and (yes) throwing them all over the house.

Fuzzy Bear

Gund -

Baby’s first teddy bear? You gotta do it. This fuzzy little guy from Gund is the perfect size and weight for propping up on a shelf or in the corner of baby’s room until they’re ready to start snuggling with them at night. It would be great for posing for milestone photos, and for daydreaming about a time when your kid is big enough to play with it.

The Baby Announcement & Milestone Trackers You Once Thought You Were Too Cool For

Rainbow Personalized Milestone Blanket

Caden Lane -

Monthly photos have become a huge trend over the last few years, and using a milestone blanket is a great way to make them happen. If you’ve dreamed about taking these photos and documenting your baby’s growth each month, this Caden Lane personalized milestone blanket is so sweet — even if that’s the only thing you use the blanket for.

Cute News Personalized Yard Stork Sign

Amazon -

I’m so glad yard announcement signs are making a comeback, and this personalized yard stork sign might be the most ridiculous and fun of them all. You can personalize them in advance so it’s ready to go when you’re on your way home, even if people will ask you what on earth you’re going to do with it after. The answer is: keep it in the garage forever like the sentimental hoarder you’re about to become.

Hello World Acrylic Baby Stat Sign

WestCoastBirch/Etsy -

Sharing your baby’s birth stats is another rite of passage, whether it’s just in a family group text or on social media, and I love the simplicity of these acrylic baby stat signs. They’re such pretty colors and just the right size for throwing in your hospital bag or keeping on a shelf at home for those first announcement photos.

The Stuff You Dreamed About Having When You Became A Mom

Mama and Mini Slipper Sets

GiffenGraphicsCo/Etsy -

OK, another pair of slippers, but come on? A matching mama and mini pair? This slipper set from Etsy comes in a few different styles and colors, but I just love the idea of each of you wearing a pair on your first day home from the hospital or a few months into motherhood when they’re finally sleeping through an entire Netflix binge in your arms on the couch. These would make the cutest birth announcement photos, too.

Ruffle Strap Labor & Delivery Gown

Kindred Bravely -

When I was pregnant with my third, one thing I really thought about was what I wanted this time around. And for me, I really wanted the ruffle strap labor and delivery gown from Kindred Bravely. I didn’t wear it during actual labor (although you could, and it’s designed with the same snaps as a hospital gown), but I put it on after giving birth and felt so much more like myself and so happy in it. It’s soft, it comes in adorable colors, and it still lets your IVs and monitors do what they need to do. It’s perfect for breastfeeding in, too. Even if you never wear it again, consider it for that moment when you’re a brand new mom with your brand new baby, feeling your best self.

Matching Mother & Baby Bracelet Set

LittleLundsCo/Etsy -

Your baby is so impossibly tiny, it seems so silly to buy them a piece of jewelry — but you’ve wanted to be a mom for so long, and if you’ve ever thought about matching mother and baby bracelets, I say go for it. This tiny set would be so adorable in your first photos with your baby, and then you can save it for special occasions or whenever baby needs to feel close to mama. I know the first day of school feels far away, but...

Heather Oatmeal Women's Robe

Little Sleepies -

Maybe you already have a robe, but if you’re romanticizing that first moment of holding your baby, breathing them in, nursing them or giving them a bottle and just gazing at them, then it’s 100% worth it to buy yourself a new soft robe for the occasion. This Little Sleepies robe will feel like you’ve been wrapped up in your own baby swaddle, and the color is so easy to keep clean. It’s perfect for the hospital, for the middle-of-the-night wakings, for the long mornings where you’re just hoping coffee does its thing — and one day you’ll pull it out of your closet and remember all of those moments all over again.

Shopping and preparing for baby might still be overwhelming — but when you’re able to buy the things you’re most excited about, the things you’ve been dreaming of since before there were two pink lines on that stick, it makes it a little easier.

Martha, who is 31, married her high school sweetheart last summer and is expecting her first baby. Martha’s doing what many moms do in their first trimester: announcing to friends and family, feeling queasy, and shopping for cute baby outfits to make it better. That, and she has spent the last few weeks researching which car seat, stroller, crib, and other big ticket items she wants. She’s ordering them ASAP before tariffs send their prices skyrocketing.

Martha says she and her husband had been “pretty opposed” to buying anything for the baby early; they plan to move somewhere larger in a few months, so better to wait. But Martha checked anyway, and noticed the stroller and car seat combo she wanted was out of stock everywhere — likely because she wasn’t the only new parent panic-buying baby gear ahead of the tariffs. She snagged it when it came back in stock in one color. It has already increased in price between $50 and $100, depending on the retailer, she says.

For Martha, the tariffs have added yet another layer of financial stress to an already fraught situation. “Having a baby was already the big financial thing of our year,” she says. “All of our bills are increasing. Both of our student loan payments have gone way up because they canceled income-driven repayment plans. It just feels like everything's going up and nothing is compensating for that.” Martha says the privilege she has is not lost on her — she and her husband can afford to buy this stuff ahead of time, or even after the tariffs kick in. She knows they will be OK. “But I also know that other people won't be," she says. "And that's really hard.”

Expectant parents and families with young children have been frantically stocking up on gear since Feb. 1, when President Trump’s economically disastrous tariffs were imposed via executive order, then ratcheted up to comical heights in a tit-for-tat with China. Of course, the vast majority of baby gear, like car seats, strollers, and cribs are manufactured there. On May 12, the U.S. and China announced a temporary agreement to reduce tariffs for 90 days, bringing the upcharge on baby gear from 145% down to 30%. The administration has been careful to specify that this is merely a temporary pause and does not signal a reversal of Trump’s universal tariffs.

Many popular baby gear brands have already announced price hikes coming before the end of May, including UPPAbaby, Munchkin, and Nuna, Axios reports. Parents have also flocked to Reddit to report price differences as they occur, like a $100 jump on a Chicco travel system. UPPAbaby travel systems will reportedly increase anywhere from $150 to $300 dollars, depending on the model.

“What we're seeing right now is an average price increase of around $100 to $150 per gear item — talking things like car seats, strollers, and high chairs. Some are higher than that,” says Jamie Grayson, a dual-certified child passenger safety technician and speaker on car seat safety. “What's going to be terrible about it, you have lower cost brands — like Baby Trend, for example — that already operate on small margins so that their products can be a lower price point and more accessible to people. To maintain any kind of margin, they're really going to have to hike these prices up significantly.” He worries less about families who were buying a $900 travel system that now retails for $1,200 than he does those who rely on affordability to access something like a car seat at all.

Tariffs have added yet another layer of financial stress to an already fraught situation.

Naturally, the price tags attached to new items are leading many parents to shop secondhand. There has been a huge uptick in traffic to resale websites like Good Buy Gear, according to Kristin Langenfeld, CEO and co-founder of the platform, as parents try to stock up on necessities. The widely used shower registry site Babylist also added an “open to secondhand” feature so parents-to-be can indicate which items they’re open to receiving used.

It's easy to predict how much more expensive secondhand items may become as a result of Trump’s tariffs, too. Langenfeld explains that prior to the signing of his executive order, her website’s pricing algorithm would slowly drop the price of an item the longer it sat unsold. For the first time in her business’s history, the same algorithm is slowly adjusting the prices up, accounting for the amount of interest in the items and how quickly they’ve been selling — just one tangible example of the rapid increase in demand, and therefore price, for used baby gear. And, of course, when parents set their own prices on platforms like Facebook Marketplace and OfferUp, it’s their car seat or crib manufacturers’ new, inflated prices they’ll use as a reference point.

Langenfeld has heard from many major baby brands that they are increasing their prices not just to account for the increase in tariffs, but as a way to keep their products in stock. “Every one of our partners has increased prices more so to try to slow down the sales of their items while they wait to see what happens,” she tells me.

And so I ask her the bigger question that's been on my mind: if manufacturers are worried about stock, does that mean we have the makings of an essential baby gear shortage on our hands? “Oh, 100%,” she says. “If there is a shortage, then we're going to have to get more of the inventory that's sitting in our basements and garages and get it back into circulation. We're going to have to use this stuff that's already here. We just need to help parents know how to get those items safely.”

When it comes to car seats, many safety experts will say you should never purchase one secondhand. Car seats are no longer considered safe if they’ve ever been involved in a collision. While you can check the expiration date on one you’re interested in buying, you have to be able to trust the person you’re buying it from that it has no crash history.

If you do need to shop secondhand for a car seat, Grayson echoes Langenfeld's concerns and says to avoid swap sales, third-party sellers on Amazon, and Facebook Marketplace — Meta historically has not policed for recalled or dangerous products. Instead, he recommends browsing a site like Good Buy Gear that follows an expert-backed inspection process on all its used car seats, and requires resellers to sign documents attesting their seat has never been involved in an accident.

“These products are not going to be accessible in terms of prices, and that's going to be a really big problem.”

Grayson also worries that parents who are trying to do the best they can will resort to unsafe alternatives, like counterfeit car seats.

“There are counterfeit, unregulated Doonas that are sold on TikTok Shop,” Grayson says. “They are hundreds of dollars cheaper than a Doona that is properly crash-tested. These counterfeit Doonas have been around for years, but now we see them just saturating the online market." Grayson says that a regular crash test is still very intense to watch, but “[the seat is] still doing its job. If you look at a counterfeit Doona crash test, the entire seat shatters into pieces.” (To avoid accidentally purchasing a counterfeit car seat, purchase seats directly from the manufacturer, Grayson says.)

When doing car seat education in underprivileged communities, Grayson sees many parents who stretch the use of their products, like using a bucket car seat for their child long after they’ve outgrown the height and weight limits. “I think a lot of people think, ‘Oh, they're just being stupid and not reading manuals.’ No. They're trying to do the best with the situation they're in and get more lifespan out of that car seat. Even if it was ‘just a $60 car seat,’ $60 is a lot of money to a lot of people.”

All systemic issues have unique, often compounded effects on minority communities. When I ask Grayson if this will be the case when it comes to tariffs hiking up the prices of baby gear, he doesn’t hesitate: “I think it's going to be really bad.”

“We already know specifically if we're looking at car seat education, that minority and underserved communities are the ones who are already not getting this information,” he says. “Now you stack the fact that these products are not going to be accessible in terms of prices, that's going to be a really big problem. The other side of this coin is that a lot of the car seat check events that we do, we basically will give free car seats out to families in need. They show up, they go through a little bit of training with us, we give them a seat, teach them how to use it, all of that. I'm very worried now that brands that historically have been beyond generous [in giving] seats to these programs, I’m worried there may be a cutting-back moment with that, which could be devastating for people.”

On April 1, Democrats in the House of Representatives called on the Trump administration to “exempt essential child care products from President Trump’s reckless tariff wars.” The letter highlighted that families spend roughly $20,000 on their baby’s first year of life alone, and that the tariffs “leave parents with fewer affordable options to keep their babies safe.” It also points out that the first Trump administration provided exemptions from tariffs in 2018 for essentials like high chairs and car seats, something House Democrats and the Juvenile Products Manufacturers Association (JPMA) are advocating for again. In an Oval Office meeting on May 7, President Trump told reporters he was considering exemptions for baby gear, but was hesitant to overcomplicate his universal tariffs. “I want to make it nice and simple,” he said.

The fact that these exemptions were not reinstated is “wildly unethical and wrong,” Grayson says, considering the fact that it’s illegal to even drive your baby home (or anywhere else) after birth without a car seat. “The one single baby item you legally have to have is a car seat. And the fact that now it's going to be $100, $200 more expensive is absolutely outrageous.”

Shopping secondhand can be a great way to get what you need at a more affordable price point. That said, experts say there are a few precautions you should take to ensure the used products you buy are safe:

• Search for the product on cpsc.gov/recalls, a U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) database, to ensure the product is not recalled. You can also search SaferProducts.gov to check for incident reports, which identifies potentially dangerous products that may not have been recalled yet.
• Find the model number on the product and search for the owner’s manual online, then read the safety recommendations for it. This will ensure it fits your child properly and you know how to use it safely.
• Only buy cribs or high chairs manufactured in the past 10 years. It has been required for cribs to have their manufacture date printed on them since 2011, so be wary if you don’t see one. And if the crib, play yard, or bassinet comes with a mattress, make sure they’re designed to be used together, and that it fights tightly inside.
• Only purchase products you can see in person — check that they feel structurally sound and include all parts and hardware. If you’re going to check out a stroller, swing, or something similar, watch a YouTube video about all its features so you know how to properly test the product in person.
• If a crib is too expensive, know that bassinets, play yards, mini cribs, and bedside sleepers may be cheaper options, while still being considered safe sleep spaces by the CPSC. Do not settle for a swing, inclined sleeper, nursing pillow, or other unsafe sleep setup.
• Once your purchase is complete, visit the manufacturer’s website and register the product to you. This allows them to notify you directly if there is a recall on your product.

Sources: Jamie Grayson, dual-certified child passenger safety technician; Gabe Knight, senior safety policy analyst for Consumer Reports; and Nancy Cowles, executive director of Kids In Danger.

For TikTok stylist, brand founder and new mom Lily Chapman, it’s all funny business. “Whether I am building my brand or playing with my daughter, I make joy the center of everything I do,” Chapman tells me over Zoom. The travel guru and influencer with an audience of nearly 1 million on the app has become a fashion-forward content creator for the DIY-obsessed and moms — sharing a mix of thrifting content, design projects, BTS of parenting and now, running her first-ever clothing brand: Elizabeth Bay Limited.

“I had no idea how people started brands. I got into content creation because I made a dress and people liked it, and everything since then has been me figuring it out as I go,” Chapman says, referring to the wild ride on social media since her homemade street-style dress in Paris was featured in Vogue. Since then, Chapman’s passion for global travel and high-low vintage fashion, inspired her to launch a curated collection of cheeky graphic tees, and vintage finds from women-owned shops and artists.

The 26-year-old’s relatable GRWM-style stories and raw parenting perspective has caught the attention of her community just as much as her eccentric outfit picks, with the common thread being self-expression in all areas of her life. “I've never really had motherhood without business ownership and vice versa. My entrepreneurial endeavors before having Ruby were always focused on myself. As soon as I got pregnant, it became clear to me that I want to build something bigger and set an example as someone who follows their dreams.”

Ahead, Lily Chapman takes us through her expert travel hacks, time management routine and her favorite “special soap” for new moms.

Romper: How has travel changed for you since having Ruby?

Lily Chapman: Travel has been at the center of my life for years, and I knew I didn’t want to give that up when I had [my daughter]. I was always someone that was just winging it when it came to planning trips, and with a child that is just not an option. I'm packing so much food with me; I'm bringing breast pumps; I’m making sure that I have the right kind of outlet to plug them into. I'm bringing a sound machine, a bassinet, the special soap that she uses. So it definitely forced me to stretch some muscles that I hadn't used before, particularly in the preparation.

We still love to keep exploring new places, new hotels — in fact, that is what inspired our next collection. There's so many little elements that make hotels special, whether it's the room key, the Do Not Disturb sign, what they serve for breakfast, how they decorate. It's a unique lens to look at the world of travel through, especially as a mom.

R: What Is This “Special Soap”?

LC: The Dark Cherry scent from Tubby Todd is her go-to for soap and lotion. I wear Santal 33 and she smells better than me.

R: Your social media aesthetic and brand have a very fun, lighthearted energy. How do you prioritize joy when feeling overwhelmed?

LC: The way that I curate my own sense of joy really comes back to leaning on what was fun for me in my adolescence, and reconnecting with my inner child. I loved theater, I loved dramatics and I loved fashion — so creating a day-to-day that for me is fun is how I’m able to sustain that joy. I have fun with my daughter even when it's a lot of work. Sometimes having fun is throwing off the entire schedule and doing a worse job at something than you'd hoped, but if you prioritize that for yourself, you're going to remember those moments way more than the picturesque days.

R: Speaking of fun: we have to talk about your viral Junk Journal. What is it, and do we all need one?

LC: So junk journals are a modern, creative way of memorializing ephemera. And for those who don't know, ephemera is just typically printed or written items that were meant to be thrown away, but the kind of thing that you find yourself holding on to. For example: train tickets, plane tickets, receipts from a café that you really love or someone's business card when you liked meeting them. Rather than keeping those things and shoving them all in a drawer, the junk journal is a way to take those ideas and build a permanent place for them to live where you can reference them in a really joyful and beautiful and esthetic way. So it's kind of like your mom's scrapbooks from the 80s, but with a modern twist.

R: What is a mantra you live by?

LC: Let people be wrong about you. When I think about my daughter, I don't want her to spend a second of her time in this world devoting mind space to people who are committed to misunderstanding — and same for me.

I feel like moms understand this deeply: Showers are not just showers the minute you become a mom. They become so much more — a brief but sacred oasis of calm amidst the chaos. But even in those moments of calm, I’m still thinking about my skin. Blame it on the beauty editor in me, but when I step into the shower, I want more than just a mental refresh. I want to step out with skin that feels nourished and looks visibly better. That’s why every product I use has to pull its weight: it needs to be effortless, fast, and deliver real, visible results. That’s why I was immediately intrigued when Olay Body came out with its Super Serum Body Wash.

Inspired by the Olay Super Serum, the most awarded skincare serum* this formula promises five visible skincare benefits in one product (a fellow multitasker? I feel seen). That includes visibly hydrating, firming, smoothing, brightening, and evening out skin. With advanced ingredients like vitamin E, BHA, and collagen peptide, I was all in.

Olay Super Serum Body Wash

Olay -

When Olay’s iridescent pink bottle caught my eye in the body wash aisle, I immediately picked it up and brought it home. After making my usual “Mom’s taking her shower break!” announcement, I put the Super Serum Body Wash to the test. Let’s start with the scent: It’s soft, soothing, and enveloping. A delicate blend of floral and herbal notes, with hints of sweet vanilla and warm, woody undertones. It’s not overwhelming — more like a gentle, comforting embrace for your senses.

The texture is where the magic really shines and where it’s clear the formula was influenced from a skincare playbook. It feels more like a creamy serum than a typical body wash, with a light lather that brings to mind the silky smoothness of a rich body cream. The combo of its luxurious feel and subtle scent elevates the whole shower experience while working double-duty to leave skin feeling moisturized and looking more luminous.

Now for how my skin looks and feels since incorporating it into my shower routine: It’s been noticeably smoother and softer without feeling tight or dry. It also looks like I have an all-over healthy glow, likely from the hydrating formula with vitamin C and niacinamide, which I’m obsessed with.

So mamas, I had to share my thoughts on the Super Serum Body Wash because in the chaos of daily life, it’s these small, intentional moments that make the biggest impact. What started as a simple shower break has evolved into a much-needed ritual that nourishes both my body and mind. It’s a reminder that we deserve time to pause, reset, and treat ourselves to products that actually work. And when I feel good and confident in my own skin, I’m ready to show up for everyone else. Now, that’s a super way to practice self-care (sorry, couldn’t help myself).

*Based on 4 year review of Major Beauty Awards