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Daryl-Ann Denner Keeps It Real, From the Bedroom To the Drive-Thru
The brand founder and mother of three shares her hot take on sex routines, relationships and the truth about being a new mom.
“If I could get an IV of Diet Coke, I would,” Daryl-Ann Denner tells me over Zoom. We’re sitting in our respective kitchens sipping on large Diet Cokes, also known as “LDCs” to the influencer’s two million followers on Instagram. It’s noon. “People ask me how I have the energy to raise three kids, and this is how,” Denner says of her daily ritual. After making a name for herself over the past decade for being the relatable, girl-next-door fashion blogger-turned-family lifestyle inspiration, the mother of three was in search of the perfect tee and couldn’t find an option up to par with how she wanted to look and feel; enter her elevated basics brand, nuuds.
“I always knew I wanted to be a working mom, and to be honest, I’m a better mom when I’m working. I feel more fulfilled,” Denner tells me. She adds, “There was a season after having my son of feeling super guilty because of that desire, and almost resentful towards my husband for being able to go back to work and to his ‘normal’ life. I wanted to be myself, and I wanted to run my business, and I wanted to still be me, and I didn't know how to do that.” Through a mix of learning new rituals and routines, as well as couples’ therapy, Denner’s relationships shifted — in her family, and with herself.
Adding co-founder and CEO to Denner’s resumé may have been daunting, but didn’t stop the influencer from starting her brand. “Anxiety is something I’ve always dealt with” Denner says. Adding, “I live by this quote, ‘Do it afraid’, because the feeling used to hold me back from so many things. Now, I just do it anyway.”
Ahead, Denner shares her secrets for feeling your best while doing the most, from adding sex to your schedule, to the freedom to doomscroll.
On Self-Care
“I don’t know if I would call this self-care, but my husband and I implemented this new thing – we have an hour from 8 to 9 p.m. during the week when our kids are in bed, where we can do whatever we want, by ourselves, no questions asked. Sometimes I want to scroll on my phone for an hour. Or I reorganize my closet, or just sit and zone out! I feel recharged after, and it makes a real difference for how I show up as a wife and mom.”
On Work-Life Balance
“I’ll never forget listening to a podcast when I heard someone say, ‘Screw balance, it doesn’t exist’. In the beginning I doubted if I was cut out for both working and parenting if I needed support; there’s this weird thing about being confident as a mom, and an entrepreneur as well. If I want my business to be better, and my family to thrive, I’ve learned to lean on other people’s strengths.”
On Overcoming Mom-Guilt
“I had our son at 28, and two months in I remember looking at my mom and saying, ‘I don’t like this.’ The baby was crying, and I was crying. It was such a freeing moment for me to be able to talk to my family and say, ‘I don’t like this feeling right now, and I’m questioning everything, and it’s ok.’ You’re not a bad mom because you don’t like this phase — the first 6 months are very hard. It doesn’t mean you don’t love being a mom, and you can feel two ways at once. Once I shared this with my community online, I saw that thousands of women felt the same.”
On Keeping it Spicy
“I have a few crucial tips for maintaining a fun sex life as a new mom.
1. Make time for yourself; it makes me feel more confident when I have had my solo time for self-care.
2. Every relationship is different, but in mine, my husband wants to have sex more often than I do. That’s just how it is! When I make sex a ritual though, I am more tuned into our relationship and prioritize it. Try your best to stay consistent, even when it feels like you have no time.
3. Body image is something I struggled with both pregnant and postpartum. I love having babies, and I hate watching my body change the whole time. If I’m being honest, it felt scary and uncomfortable for me, but giving yourself grace is a part of that process and your partner should support you.
Consistency is key — add it to the schedule!”