She might wear her faults on her sleeve or lack the ability (or time or energy) to hide her struggles, but she's doing her best just like everyone else. There isn't a parent in the world who just effortlessly gets through every day without feeling anxious or frustrated or tired or all of the above. Nope. Parenting is work and it's difficult and it's taxing and we're all just doing what we can to provide what we can.

If you see a hot mess mom having a very obvious "bad day," remember that it's not indicitive of her abilities; it's indicitive of how hard motherhood can be and usually is.

I'm not in a position to speak for anyone else, but I feel pretty comfortable assuming that most hot mess moms aren't judging other mothers. I mean, I'm a hot mess of a mom and I just don't have the time or energy to judge other mothers. Honestly, I'm too busy trying to make it through my own disaster of a day and too focused keeping my own head above water.

So if we're all about this "do unto others as you'd like others to do unto you" thing, I'd say it's probably best not to judge someone who isn't judging you. You know, the golden rule and all that fun stuff.

I'll never forget the time another mother showed me kindness instead of judgment. I was hustling to an appointment, late and a completely and total disaster of a human being. I had spilled coffee all over myself, my hair wasn't washed, half my makeup was on and I was trying to carry my son and his bag and my bag all while opening my car door and trying to put my son in his carseat. Once I had him seated, I was rushing to get him strapped and — it turns out — I was doing it wrong.

A mother was watching me and kindly came over to me, asked if she could help and simultaneously (and sweetly) told me I was buckling my son incorrectly. Not only did she teach me something, she showed me empathy and solidarity when I needed it most.

I've made it a point to return the favor to every mother I see (or person, honestly). I know what it's like to be shown a level of kindness when you're at the figurative end of your rope, and I know that showing that kindness to someone else can be just as impactful. As a hot mess mom who has been bailed out by friends and strangers alike, I'm more than happy and willing to help someone else.

The same mother who helped me and taught me something new (and very important) also laughed with me. She told me about a day she had that looked very, very similar to mine. She was chuckling so I started chuckling and before I knew it, I was less stressed than I was before that mom laughed at my predicament and told me she's been there before.

Why judge when you can just say, "Hey, I've been there too and it's the worst but at least it'll make for a hilarious story one day!" right? That mom changed my entire perspective by letting me know I wasn't alone and that it was OK (if not completely necessary) to laugh at the little things.

I mean, let's not act like we haven't been there before, right? We all have our good days and our bad days, some of us just hide it better than others. So when you see that mom dropping her kid's toys and spilling coffee all over herself, over an hour late to some PTA meeting and accidentally cussing in front of her child, remember that you've probably done the same or something very similar.

Just like I can learn something from a seemingly Pinterest "perfect" mother who is so crafty and organized and never late to an engagement and schedules every moment of her day, someone can learn something from my fly-by-the-seat-of-my-yoga-pants approach to motherhood.

Honestly, we can all learn from one another and that shouldn't be a secret or some kind of parenting revelation. While it's become somewhat normal to categorize mothers (hot mess moms, included) we're all just a mix of different parenting styles and personalities. I think it's best to observe one another, try out what we think will work and ditch what we know won't, and support one another, regardless.

I mean, duh.

Just because it might be "easier" to judge the hot mess mom who is obviously struggling, doesn't mean it's the thing you should be doing. Honestly, there's no reason we should be judging any kind of mother (or anyone at all). We're all doing our best and we all have the same goal in mind and we're all — while living separate lives and caring for very different children — in this thing called parenthood, together. Who knows when we will need one another and when we'll end up leaning on one another.

After all, it was a kind mom who helped me through a ridiculous hot mess of a day, and it could be a Type A, I-have-my-sh*t-together mom that I end up helping one day, as a result.

Society isn't particular kind to mothers. From failing to offer mandatory paid family leave to holding moms to unrealistic standards to defining women by motherhood and motherhood alone to establishing an endless list of double standards that are nothing short of hurtful and confusing; being a mom isn't "easy" in any capacity.

That hot mess of a mom is under the same amount of pressure as you are. She's being inundated with the same "you're a good mom if you sacrifice everything" messaging as you are. She's being made to feel like anything less than perfection is a failure, just like you are. I'd say try walking a mile in a hot mess mom's shoes but, in reality, you're already wearing them.