Life
You've seen her. We've all seen her. That mom at the supermarket with the messy bun, tired eyes, food on her shirt, possibly wearing two different shoes. She has at least one, maybe more, young children with her and she looks like she's a tantrum away from losing it. Not only have we all seen her, we've probably been her and because we've all been there we know there are struggles every hot mess mom understands.
I have two young kids, a 4-year-old and a 1-year-old, and believe me, the struggle is very real. Between diapers and nursing and naps and errands and meals and laundry, self-care isn't even on my radar let alone something I can take the time to adequately accomplish. On a normal day, I'm lucky to poop alone much less take a shower. I'm dressed up if I'm wearing pants and wearing a bra is, well, who am I kidding? I never wear a bra.
I feel like I'm barely keeping my head above water on a semi-daily basis, so there's no denying that I'm definitely a hot mess mom, yoga pants and all. I am messy and my house is disorganized and full of toys, I am usually late, and I always, always, always forget something. Thankfully, I know I'm not alone and the solidarity I find and feel with other hot mess moms reminds me that being real about the mistakes I make and the numerous difficulties motherhood can (and does) provide. So, if any of these sound familiar to you, know that you're my sister in the hot mess that comes with being a mom.
When Your Kid's Laundry Becomes A Glorified Laundry Basket...
My kid's crib is so beautiful, and is cherry in color with simple lines, much like a sleigh bed. I loved it when it was new and I was so excited when we got it and I had big dreams for our nursery. Little did I know that my son would never, not once, sleep in it.
Luckily, it's big enough to hold a week's worth of clean laundry waiting to be put away. There is so much laundry in my beautiful crib, I haven't seen the mattress in months.
...And So Does Your Floor
Come to think of it, everywhere there is an empty surface, there is laundry. That includes your floor.
When Your Ponytail Holder Is Straight Up Lost In Your Hair
You put your hair in a bun on Monday and it's in the same bun on Wednesday. It's messy, not because you give a sh*t about how your hair looks (ain't nobody got time for that), but because it's been slept on for two nights in a row without being brushed. You have to mount a full-on expedition to find the ponytail holder, and when you pull it out, about a thousand hairs come with it.
When You're Not Sure If That Stain On Your Shirt Is Food, Or Something Else
Chocolate? Maybe. Grape jelly? Could be. Possible feces left over form that one diaper change you never intend on mentioning again? Let's hope not.
Only one way to find out what the hell is on your shirt, right? There's no shame in licking it if the smell test doesn't confirm, either. Live your best life, mama.
When You Have No Idea How You Got Food In Your Bra
You take off your bra at night (or midday, because why not?) and enough crumbs to rebuild a sandwich fall out onto the floor at your feet. The thought that runs through your head isn't, "Ewww!" or "WTF?!?!" it's "Dammit, I just vacuumed in here!"
When You Can't Even Find Your Bra
Conversely, you just ditch the bra completely. Not because you're making a grand feminist statement, but because bras are ridiculously uncomfortable and your life is all about comfort these days.
When Your Last Meal Was A Cold Chicken Nugget Or Something Leftover (And Uncomfortable)
When it comes to a complete meal, your kids' leftovers are the best you can hope for (most days). Whatever's been in the back of your fridge doesn't look too bad, and it's supposedly got five different vegetables in it. That's a win, right?
When You Can't Put On Mascara Correctly, Because It's Been So Long Since You've Actually Used It
You make a lame attempt at salvaging a modicum of self-respect and decide to put on makeup. You only get as far as mascara before you get called away to go clean something off of someone. Eh, you win some, you lose some.
There's always tomorrow, right?
When You Can't Remember The Last Time You Wore Actual Pants
I wear yoga pants 24/7 and, I'm not gonna lie, I usually sleep in the same pair I wore that day. No shame. To put on something without an elastic waist is a big deal.
Like formal occasion, big deal.
I don't consider the fact that I can't remember the last time I wore a pair of jeans to be a bad thing. But hey, I guess if I was questioned and couldn't come up with a response in a reasonable amount of time, I might be in a little bit of a social struggle.
When You Can't Remember The Last Time You Enjoyed Hot Coffee
From tired mothers everywhere, I'd like to offer up a huge and heartfelt thank you to whoever it was that invented the microwave.
