Life
Holidays are great fun, but since the advent of social media, there are more expectations than ever. Is your Easter dinner table and children's baskets Pinterest worthy? What will people on Facebook be talking about? We know that Twitter will still be a dumpster fire of politics and troll farms, but what about Instagram? Everyone and their brother will be posting, and it's easy to run out of ideas for captions. That's where I come in, making it easier for everyone. Here are 11 Instagram captions for Easter that span the spectrum from totally religious to completely secular.
The classics for religious people can be tricky as I have learned well in my multi-religion family. However, it's a religious holiday — there aren't a lot of ways to escape the overarching spiritual connotations unless you 100 percent Peter Rabbit the day. There is a balance you can strike that falls somewhere between "He is risen" and "Happy Zombie Jesus Day," I promise. Mostly, captions like these will revolve around chocolate, family, forgiveness, and honestly, wine. Because there is no Easter without it. I like to mix it up with songs, literary quotes, and more than a little of my own brand of sarcasm.
1
The Ubiquitous Church Selfie
"Nothing says 'all your sins are forgiven' quite like crowding into a pew with a ton of people you only see a few times per year and then all sharing a cup of wine and a load of guilt. #blessed #communionwineisgoodfortheimmunesystem"
I choose not to think about where everyone's mouths have been before I drink. I also wipe my mouth as soon as the bishop can't see me do it.
2
Your Kid's Outfit
"The dress and hat says 'Easter.' The chocolate hidden in my pocket says 'prepared for anything.' #eatthechocolatebunnyearsfirst #cremeegg"
I love that my kid always has candy or a granola bar in her pocket or purse. She often just shoves food at her brother saying "eat this, you're being a butthead." Which is true. He cannot allow his blood sugar to drop. Ever.
3
Inside The Church
"Just like in high school, all the cool kids looking to make a quick exit sit in the back."
OK, so that's not entirely true. I sit there because that's where the speaker is and me and my daughter are both hard of hearing. But, it's pretty hilarious how the back fills up long before the front.
4
Making Dinner
"Posting to prove that I actually cooked this and did not, in fact, order it from Postmates. #notsubtweetingmymotherinlaw #ipromise #maybealittle"
5
Your Brunch Cocktail
"My kids got candy and chocolate, but it's brunch, so now I'm 'Sippin' from a bottle of vodka double wine. Sweet, sugar, candy man. #christinaaguilera #candyman'"
Sometimes you just need Christina Aguilera to write the perfect words.
6
For The Cheeky
“EASTER HAS BEEN CANCELED - THEY FOUND THE BODY” It's a quote from Jim Butcher's Storm Front. It will 100 percent tick off your mother, but that's half the fun. Plus, I choose to believe that the guy who befriended a tax collector and an unmarried woman two thousand years ago would have a sense of humor.
7
On Forgiveness
“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.”
This is attributed to Mark Twain, and it embodies the joy of the holiday.
8
Ridiculous Pet Pics
"Just hopping along this Easter Sunday, silently trying to find the dignity my owner robbed me of. #dotheseearsmakemelookbigger #puppybunny"
9
When You've Been One Upped
"That moment when you can't remember where the book of Luke is, but your neighbor is taking their statue game to the next level."
10
About Those Baskets
"All of my favorite holidays feature supernatural creatures that are completely removed from the actual meaning of the holiday, even if a giant bunny creeping in your house and leaving eggs is a little strange. #giantteeth #notascreepyasthetoothfairy"
11
Dyeing Eggs
"Another year of dyeeing eggs with children. Another year of forgetting the plastic tarp and googling 'how to get dye out of rugs.' #vinegar #notworthit #neveragain"
