Life

11 New Year's Resolutions We Wish Our Kids Would Make

by Autumn Jones

Somewhere in a landfill are piles of papers with long lists of forgotten resolutions from New Years' past. All the plans to start that new workout routine and spend less money on shoes seem so attainable on January 1, then something happens in February that makes us forget. Maybe it's being a grown up. Perhaps kids would be better at keeping resolutions — and how great would it be if kids followed through with the resolutions we wish our kids would make?

I'm not going to lie, if my kids gave me free reign over their resolution list, I would definitely tip the scale in my favor. I could spend a whole afternoon dreaming up a litany of promises they would have to stick to for an entire year. As much as I love them, there are plenty of small changes that would make my life so much easier, and let's be honest — a hell of a lot happier. Being able to pick the resolutions my kids would make would be like finding a genie in a bottle and being granted three wishes. Or in the case of this list, 11 wishes.

I don't know if these wishes will ever come true, but for now a girl can dream. But as the New Year rolls around, I am going to cross my fingers and toes in hopes that my children will surprise me with these 11 New Year’s resolutions we wish our kids would make.

1

To Not Jump On Furniture In The Furniture Store

Thank you for letting mom buy this new couch without getting the stank eye from the sales person. It is a New Year's miracle.

2

To Love Every Home Cooked Meal

This year there will be no crying at the table about vegetables.

3

To Take Over Laundry Duties

I'm talking from dirty clothes, all the way back to folded in the drawer.

4

To Keep Family Business Private

No more telling your friends that mommy eats chocolate and looks at Facebook all day.

5

To Tell Everyone Mom Is Awesome

A whole year of reminding friends, family, and strangers how awesome mom is? Yes, please.

6

To Pee In The Actual Toilet

Not near. Not around. IN the actual toilet.

7

To Not Argue About Wearing A Helmut

Just put on the helmut and be happy about it.

8

To Choose Easy Birthday Themes

Simple is best, and you still get cake.

9

To Committ To A Halloween Costume Before October 29th

Be reasonable and decide by mid-October, please. You'll still get candy no matter what you're wearing.

10

To No Longer Try Stunts As Seen On TV

We would like to not visit the emergency room this year, please and thank you.

11

To Keep Saying Hilarious Things We Can Laugh About

Keep those funny phrases coming! We love 'em.

Images: alt10trader/Flickr; Giphy (11)