One of the most important ways to determine if you and your partner have a good sexual compatibility is to figure out if your sex drives match. Sexually compatible partners generally “feel aligned in their preferences,” says Ogilvie. Often, this simply means how frequently you and your partner desire sex. For instance, if you are a once-per-day person and your partner prefers sex once or twice a week, that could spell a problem. However, sexual preferences also change over time, so remember, none of this is set in stone.

If you don't quite match up on the vanilla to kinky spectrum, it may be OK if both of you are willing to compromise and try new things. Sexual compatibility is not a set thing — it’s always in flux, and can still be something that you work towards. Rather than being 100% in agreement at all times, partners who are thought of as sexually compatible “have ways of communicating about their differences effectively,” says Ogilvie.

In line with working at your relationship is how well you understand each other, as listener and communicators. “The couples who are the most compatible know how to negotiate their desires to be in alignment with each other,” Ogilvie explains. Both of you need to be able to tell each other what you want and don't want. When it comes to sex, both of you need to communicate about what you enjoy during sex and how to tweak things so that they’re even better as your needs evolve.

Keeping an intimate connection alive long-term is important, so it's crucial that you and your partner agree about the place sex has in your daily lives. In general, a sexually compatible couple will “feel aligned in their preferences and have ways of communicating about their differences effectively,” explains Ogilvie.

Although there are many different styles of kissing, most people stick to the one that feels natural to them. What's important in sexual compatibility is that your kissing styles match so that you form a certain synchronicity through mutual rhythm, and pace. Additionally, according to a study by Oxford University published in the Journal of Sexual Behavior, kissing actually helps people to subconsciously figure out a potential partner's long-term compatibility through taste and smell, since you pick up on biological cues for sexual compatibility, genetic fitness, and general health.

What does it mean when your partner runs their hand sensually down your back at the end of dinner, or when you tap on their knee as you finish that last episode on Netflix? If you are attuned to each other's sexy signs, then you know exactly what each of you might be asking subtly. Knowing each other's hints for when romance is in the air is an important part of sexual compatibility, because it helps to set the mood and push each other to spend more time together.

“Sexual compatibility is about having a shared understanding of your sexual desires, preferences and turn-ons and how they align with your partner’s,” stresses Ogilvie. Your relationship with sex (as in, how you view sex’s purpose) is very important to your sexual compatibility with your partner. Is sex for connecting with your partner? Is it simply good as stress relief at the end of a long day? And, most importantly, how important is it for the upkeep of your relationship?

Willingness to put in effort — in all elements of your relationship — indicates compatibility overall. Amazing sex takes time and effort on both of your parts, and ensuring that you have a lasting love life (and long-lasting happiness in the bedroom) means continuing to put in the effort over time.

It’s true that you won't know everything about your partner’s body when you first start out in the bedroom, and visa versa, but having that initial “spark” is a good sign that you’ll get there.

If you both enjoy engaging in the same sexual behaviors, then you may be compatible. When it comes to sexual appetite, everyone falls on the spectrum that ranges from very vanilla to very kinky. The problem can present itself if one person is perfectly happy with missionary sex every single time while the other person is bored.