If your kids are like mine, they are going to fight you for ongoing access to your breasts. I swear my kids thought they owned them, and they did not give them up without a fight... a screaming, weepy fight that cut through my tender mama heart like a hot knife through butter.

Look, we're moms: we want our babies to be happy, especially if it's within our power. So denying them something you know makes them happy can be really rough and make you feel like total crap. So know up front that there's a good chance that you're going to feel like crap at some point in this process.

No, really. It sucks to hear your kids cry, and you might feel mean, but if you're weaning it's because you've made a decision that you know is best for your body and wellbeing. And, trust me, your child is going to be helped far more by a mom making empowered decisions than they will be by breast milk. After all, it's not like you're cutting them off from all food, just the kind you've been cranking out of your nipples for however long you've been nursing. If they're under a year there's formula! If they're over a year there's a plethora of solids and other kinds of milk that can fill the void.

Breastfeeding is not something that is required of "good mothers." You can be a good mom even when you don't, so don't beat yourself up.

Not your partner, not your friends, not your mom, not your breastfeeding support group, not some random jerk on Facebook who gives you a million unsolicited suggestions about how to continue nursing because she's weirdly invested in changing your mind. The only person you probably should discuss your decision with is your child, if they are of an age where such a chat would make sense to them. (Though, even if they're too little to understand, saying it out loud to them might be helpful for you.)

My kids were older — 17 months and 21 months — and while we weren't having deep philosophical discussions on Kant at those ages I still managed to talk to them about weaning and how we can cuddle in new ways.

Because you might have them... you might even have a lot of them! It's helpful to be able to talk about your experiences weaning and to feel heard, particularly since while there are more and more resources and supports out there for moms who want to make breastfeeding work (though, don't get it twisted, not nearly enough) there's surprisingly little to help a mom who has decided to wean. So much of it is self-guided and there's not a lot to speak to the emotions you might go through in the process. So find a person (or tribe of people) that you feel safe opening up to.

They might not! I didn't go through any kind of hormonal crisis when I weaned my son. But when I weaned my daughter... whoo boy. That was rough. Maybe it was the culmination of three pregnancies and three years of breastfeeding in under five years. Maybe there was some subconscious knowledge that this was my last baby that put me over the edge. Maybe it was just luck of the draw. But the point is I was a hot mess who couldn't cope with life for a solid couple months there. Once I linked that constant state of agitation to hormone difference that resulted from weaning things became more manageable (and, eventually, went away all together once my body regulated itself). So the sooner you're aware this might be an issue the better.

"Oh breastfeeding doesn't change your breasts!" say well-meaning breastfeeding activists. "Don't let worrying about sagging dissuade you!"

Folks? Breastfeeding can absolutely change your breasts. Like... completely and absolutely. Always? No. It's not a foregone conclusion. First time around, weaning my son at 17 months, they were completely unchanged. And I bought the line of "breastfeeding doesn't change your boobs."

Then I weaned my daughter, and I learned that whether or not your breasts change has to do with luck.

My boobs looked like they could cough dust. Fortunately they puffed back to normal within six months or so, but there was a definitely a period of deflation.

This surprises a lot of people. Depending on your body and how long you've been nursing, it can take months for your body to stop producing milk entirely. This is particularly relevant information for any sexual partners you may have.

Many nursing parents wean with little to no difficulty, physically speaking. But depending on how quickly you've weaned (cold turkey or gradually), how frequently you were nursing before you stopped, and (again) your body's particular peccadilloes, you may experience engorgement, pain, and even mastitis. Familiarize yourself with the symptoms of mastitis, because that is something you're absolutely going to want to nip in the bud.

I didn't do this myself, but apparently cabbage leaves down your bra can seriously help engorgement. This feels like an old wives tale but, apparently, some of those old wives were actually powerful witches who knew WTF to do with a cabbage.

I never weaned on my first attempt. It took a while to figure out exactly how I was going to go about it. That's OK. It doesn't make you a failure or inconsistent or a pushover. It means you need time to regroup and make a new plan

This is hard stuff you're about to do. And breastfeeding can be crazy tough, too! Double applause! Ya done good, mama! Congratulations on this milestone!