Life
Even those among us who dig porn have to admit: Porn is weird. It is possible that the first pornography in history existed 12,000 years ago as cave paintings, free-floating, stylized images of female genitalia. Since that time, I would contend, the medium of erotic visual stimulation has only gotten more stylized and weirder. That's cool a lot of the time. But sometimes it's creepy and awful.
Feminism is often delineated between pro-porn and anti-porn advocates. Personally, that feels like a disingenuous demarcation. Because saying you're "pro-porn" indicates that you have absolutely no problems with the porn industry at large. But I am, and I do. Saying you're anti-porn would suggest that you disapprove of any number of great porn sites and companies out there doing a bang-up job (heh heh, heh heh) of breaking some of the tropes, stereotypes, and glaring, misogynistic flaws present in much the mainstream of the industry. That may not be the case, either. Human sexuality and society are majestically and horrifying complex entities: I don't understand how the issue of pornography can therefore be so black and white.
There's also the issue, of course, of when we're talking about porn, what kind of porn are we discussing? Because the tropes, practices, and direction of pornography created for and by a Queer audience differs wildly from, say, lesbian porn made for and by straight men. For the intents of this article, I will be referencing porn made and distributed by medium to larger production companies catering to heterosexual male audiences.
Because porn is first and foremost fantasy, it stands to reason that watching it would give viewers sort of bizarre impressions of actual sex. Here are a few.
You WILL Have Sex On One Of Several IKEA Beds You See Featured In Porn
Maybe this is just what I've noticed (or tells you about the porn I watch), but I find that there are, like, three IKEA beds that appear over and over in pornos... including the now discontinued Noresund model... which I have... which is weird. I guess it just goes to show that IKEA beds are both stylish and sturdy, since they can withstand a lot of action.
Female Ejaculation Is Definitely A Thing... But Not As Much As Porn Would Lead You To Believe
Female ejaculation (or, as the kids are calling it these days, "squirting") 100% totally happens. It isn't a myth... but it's also not a foregone conclusion. Neither is its absence a sign that a woman didn't actually achieve orgasm.
There are still a lot of questions about female ejaculation. While there are a bunch of working theories and ideas, here's some straight dope for ya: It's more common in porn than in real life.
The Average Heterosexual Roll In The Hay Takes 3-7 Minutes
No. Really. I find this fascinating.
Most Real Sex Is Pretty Unathletic
Porn would have you believe that the only people capable of having sex are those among us with the flexibility and stamina of a Soviet-era gymnast. Not true. A lot of couples I know pride themselves, in fact, on their ability to get off with minimum physical expenditure.
Pubic Hair Exists
It wasn't hunted into extinction sometime in the late '90s. Pubic hair cannot be stopped. Viva La Pubic Hair!
Everyone's Orgasm Counts
The structure of mainstream porn scenes is built around the male orgasm. The fact that "the money shot" is a man coming and then the scene ends within moments is pretty indicative of this fact. Often, a woman having an orgasm isn't even featured and the fact that it isn't featured is usually not a point of concern or note. But in real life, everyone deserves an orgasm! Don't let porn trick you into thinking it's an afterthought.
Whether your feelings on the subject are complicated or you don't think about it to hard and just click on a video and masturbate to your hearts content, porn presents an image of the boudoir that often bears little resemblance to reality. And that can be effing amazing and exactly what you need. Just make sure that when you are faced with reality your expectations aren't being unfairly skewed by porn-tinted glasses...