Because Christmas is mainly about spending time with family, those fun-filled dinners can quickly turn into tense moments if the wrong topic comes up in conversation. To help alleviate the tension and prevent a family war, it helps to have a handful of funny Christmas quotes in your arsenal that'll liven up the day.
Christmas means many things to many different people. For some, it's a time of reflection, and a way to spend special moments with family, especially since obligations like work might have prevented quality time in the last few months. For others, it's a time to sit back and relax with a glass of eggnog, and not take life too seriously.
Although you may think a joke is the better way to go, quotes are often a little more relatable. In fact, since so many people celebrate Christmas, a lot of famous writers, comedians, celebrities, and important figures have probably jotted a few words down that you and your family will definitely find relatable. If you're looking for the perfect words to sum up your holiday feeling, there's probably a quote for that.
Here are a few to keep on your mind, in case the mood strikes. (Or, in case you want to make people laugh at your big holiday party.)
1
"Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard." - Andy Borowitz
Of course the satirical writer from The New Yorker would have a pretty good holiday zinger.
2
"What I like about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with the present." – Don Marquis
Pretty clever, but also a bit true. No matter what the year brought, and how stressful it may have been, you still sum it up in the presence with a present.
3
"I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can’t wait to exchange." – Henny Youngman
Not everyone is good at gift giving.
4
"I hate the radio this time of year because they play "All I Want For Christmas Is You" like, every other song. And that’s just not enough." – Bridger Winegar
Screenwriter Bridger Winegar must love the popular Mariah Carey song. Admittedly, it's way better than most other Christmas "classics" these days.
5
"If you can’t wrap Christmas presents well, at least make it look like they put up a good fight." – Author Unknown
Even though you wrap multiple presents year after year, it's definitely a skill that some of us just don't get any better at.
6
"Christmas is a magical time of year… I just watched all my money magically disappear." – Author Unknown
It may be missing, but hopefully it went to a good place.
7
"It may be a cliché, but it’s true – the build-up to Christmas is so much more pleasurable than the actual day itself." – Julie Burchill
Well, I can't say that Burchill is wrong, necessarily. Although it's fun to buy gifts, brainstorm presents, and prep the meals, there's something about the day-of that's just a little exhausting.
8
"As popular as Christmas is, it would be even bigger if it had vampires." - Andy Borowitz
So this list has two Borowitz quotes in it. What can I say? He's a funny guy.
9
"Adults can take a simple holiday for children and screw it up. What began as a presentation of simple gifts to delight and surprise children around the Christmas tree has culminated in a woman unwrapping six shrimp forks from her dog, who drew her name." - Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck was such a legend, and this quote still rings true. If you're looking for funny quotes in general, she's your woman.
10
"What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day." - Phyllis Diller
Speaking of funny women, this Phyllis Diller quote is pretty great. It proves that all of us can get a little rowdy when work stress and free booze are combined.
11
"That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me." - Jerry Seinfeld
If you've got a snarky view of the holiday, this quote by Jerry Seinfeld will probably make a lot of sense to you. It'd be a good one-liner to include if you're in the midst of a group lament at a family party.
12
"Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year." – Victor Borg
Pretty solid. The fact that there's eggnog available makes this whole "annual visit" mission even easier.
13
"I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph." – Shirley Temple
Poor Shirley Temple. She was forced to grow up a little too fast.
