Even if you have the healthiest, most on-the-same page relationship, you're going to struggle. Even if you're one of those couples that never fight or you've never had so much as a disagreement, parenthood will provide you with multiple situations in which you can do both. When there's an other life in the mix, suddenly how you were raised vs how your partner was raised, how their parents disciplined vs how your parents disciplined, and every other past choice or situation you have experienced separate from your partner and together with your partner, matter. To the degree in which they matter varies, of course, but you will not always agree.

You know that constantly regurgitated, ridiculously annoying platitude that goes, "Nothing in this life worth having is easy" that you've probably rolled your eyes at a thousand times? Yeah, well, it's stupid but it's also true. Like, there's a reason why it's a cliché. Parenthood isn't easy, and that's normal.

Because you and your partner come from different backgrounds with different parents and have different life experiences, you're going to disagree. Eventually. I mean, obviously it's a good idea to discuss parenting philosophies prior to procreating (or after you've found out you're pregnant, in the case of my partner and I) but it's impossible to cover every parenting scenario because you have no idea what you'll inevitably face. You're two different people, with varying thoughts and opinions and beliefs, and respecting one another's individualities while working together as a team is going to create a few disagreements, but end up strengthening your parenting abilities.

Not being on the same page or disagreeing or even fighting with your partner (as long as it's in a heathy way) is normal. You're not some doomed couple, I promise.

I love my parenting partner, but I don't always like him. When I was breastfeeding in the middle of the night for the seventh time and he was sleeping in the bed next to me, I didn't like him. When we argued over gun control, I didn't necessarily like him. I have never once not loved my partner, but I have experienced plenty of occasions when we disagree and I'm exhausted or he does something that is annoying or anything but helpful, and I find myself not necessarily liking him.

I also, sometimes, don't like my mother and don't like my brother and don't particularly like my best friend, even though I love all of those people to the damn moon and back. It's normal to not always get along with the people you love the most. I mean, we're human beings.

I knew that communication was important in general, but I didn't know just how important it was until I was co-parenting. My partner and I are constantly checking in with one another, making sure everything from our romantic relationship to our sex life to how we feel we're doing as parents to what we want to cook for the week, is in order and we're on the same page. That's the only way we can co-parent efficiently.

Since becoming a parent, I have realized that being "right" is not as important as doing the right thing. My ego needs (and should) take a back seat, especially when it comes to my relationship and my son. That means that I have had to compromise and my partner has had to compromise, so we can do the best thing for our son and for ourselves. It isn't always easy, and there are moments when (I think) compromise isn't warranted and either I or my partner should stand our ground but, in the end, compromise is the name of the parenting game and the sooner you learn how to compromise in a healthy way, the better.

You're part of a team, so don't keep a mental scoreboard up-to-date by tallying every time you do something and your partner doesn't. You shouldn't be doing the dishes or the laundry or changing a diaper, just so you can highlight that one time your partner didn't. You two should be giving and taking, helping each other out when you can, regardless of how that ends up looking.

My partner and I frequently vent to one another (about work, about our apartment, about bills, about adulthood, and definitely about parenting) and I can't tell you how helpful that is. I mean, I spend so much energy just parenting a toddler, that there's zero ounces left that I can use to keep negative thoughts and feelings bottled up inside. I physically can't do it. To be able to have someone that will sit and listen about that horrific tantrum my kid just threw is so helpful, especially when that person understands and is personally invested and has probably sat through the same tantrum, too.

There are things a mom thinks that she's so afraid to say out loud, because our society has decided that a "good mother" is someone who absolutely loves every single solitary moment of parenting and will willingly sacrifice all of herself in order to raise a child. Nope, that's not true. Parenthood can suck and you need to be able to express those feelings sans judgment. If you can do that with your parenting partner, you will both be better off.

It needs to be a two-way street. I mean, it's basically that simple. If one parenting partner is venting, there should be a "switch" somewhere in the conversation so that the other can do the same.

My partner and I recently started having weekly date nights, but with ourselves. I get to take myself out to a nice dinner or a movie or go to a cafe and read a book, while my partner watches our son. Then, next week, it's my partner's turn to take himself out and spend some quality time with himself. I think it's vital that, when you're part of a partnership, you're also focusing on yourself and your individuality. You don't have to lose who you are in order to be part of a healthy team.

Sure, take people's advice and read parenting books and learn from those around you, but make sure that whatever co-parenting situation you have going on is one you've created it. No two co-parenting situations are the same, and you have not only the ability but the right to make your own decisions about what works best for you and your family.

Seriously, that's all that matters. If you are married but sleeping in separate beds while you co-sleep with your kid works for you, do it. If you're not married and you don't plan on getting married, even though others are claiming you should for your kid, don't do it. You get to decide what is best for you, and then you get to actually do it. Don't worry about the judgment that is sure to come your way. No one knows your parenting situation better than you and your co-parent, so make sure your decisions are benefiting you guys and your family, first and foremost.