Photo Courtesy of Abi Berwager Schreier

16 Things Cats Stole From Babies, Because Everything Belongs To Them

I love them, but cats are jerks. The biggest jerks. Everything you bring into the house, they totally think is theirs — including stuff for your kid. To prove my point (and because everyone loves a good cat picture) here's basically a coffee table book of things cats stole from kids.

As for me, I have two cats (and two beagles) in our quite full, funny-farm house. And among our pack, the cats — specifically Sam, the cat elder of the family — rule the roost in our 1,300 square foot house. It's a little cramped, y'all, to say the least. Sam is 10 years old, and he was our first baby my husband and I adopted as a couple. He's been with us through our engagement, marriage, several apartments, a rental house, and finally our current home — plus another cat, two dogs, and a baby.

I was nervous about how territorial he would be with another human in the house since he likes to make sure all the other animals in our pack know he's the alpha. At a whopping 19 pounds, he can definitely throw his weight around. And while he is definitely sweet with our son, he does hog all of his stuff, as cats are wont to do. In fact, Sam and our other cat Molly were sleeping in our son's crib so much before he was even born that I had to wash the sheets three times before he got here. (In our defense, our son's door doesn't latch because we live in a really old house with quirks. So there was no way to keep them out of there.)

But now they enjoy sleeping on my son's changing table, his toy box, laundry bin, and pack-and-play. And of course when he was a baby, they were super fans of his swing and bouncer. But luckily, according to these pictures, our cats are definitely not alone in stealing a kid's stuff.


Oh, did you want to jump here?

"I'm sure you're all wondering why I called this meeting."


Pay attention to me.

"What? This bed is the perfect size for me."


3.Excuse me, mom, this tiny human is in my bassinet.

"Oh my god. Mom. Mom. MOM. Get this tiny human out of my bed. Halp."


Thanks for the purchase, Mom, this bed is just perfect.

"Please don't disrupt my nap, Mom. Oh, and thanks for the bed."


What are you looking at?

This almost looks like it could be a postcard with the flower arrangements. The cat looks like they're saying, "Try me." Also, I bet they were caught right before trying to take a nibble of that beautiful bouquet.


Obviously this bassinet was purchased for our enjoyment. Now move along.

They sure look angry that they were disturbed. The famous cat death glare is happening right here.


Thanks for these super fun primary-colored toys, Mom.

"These are just my size."


Already stealing the spotlight.

"Excuse me. What the fresh hell is this? Why are we not having our portraits done for the 'gram?"


Don't mind me. I'm just keeping this warm for the tiny human.

Photo Courtesy of Abi Berwager Schreier

"This is the best toy ever. It's cozy, warm, makes bird noises, vibrates, and it even has dangling toys for me to swat at."


Yeah, me too.

"I, too, love the vibrations in this bed and the bird noises."


The world's largest crate.

"Hey, thanks mom. I feel super protected right now."


I didn't know you had triplets?

"Mom, these tiny humans are in my bed."


I am just as adorable as the doll, obviously.

"Don't you like my 'come hither' look? Maybe the tiny human will snuggle me instead of this doll."


So I'm here now. Where's the food?

"I would prefer tuna and salmon, please. And not from those disgusting glass jars with the questionable meat. And no veggies."


Caught in the act.

"Play with me, tiny human. I'm so much more fun and cuddly than this book toy."


Lucy who?

Courtesy of Samantha Darby

Names mean nothing to cats.