Life
When your child is small, they may spend the majority of their time wanting to be firmly planted in your arms or by your side. As they grow, the space between you may widen as they explore the world with more gusto than when they were very young, but if you and your kid have developed a strong bond, they will exhibit some or all of these sweet signs your kid is beautifully and securely attached.
While warm hugs and sloppy toddler kisses are some of the absolute best things in the world, watching your child exist in the world while knowing that they are secure enough in their attachment to know that they are loved and well cared for is equally as heartwarming.
Maureen Healy, author of The Emotionally Healthy Child and child development expert at Growinghappykids.com tells Romper why it's important for children to develop secure attachments. "Children need to form healthy relationships with their parents or caregivers. This helps them feel safe in the world and secure (emotionally) that they can move forward on their path of healthy development," Healy says. She also notes that these healthy attachments can happen with grandparents, teachers, or other important people in a child's life as well in order to facilitate healthy social, physical, mental, and emotional development.
If your kids is showing any of these sweet signs that that are beautifully and securely attached, you can rest assured knowing that you have a wonderful bond that won't be easily broken.
5
They Make You Things
I have a refrigerator full of random drawings and coloring book pages that my boys have given me. This artwork has significant meaning to me, as I know it was made with pure love, but it also is a sign that my kids are beautifully attached. "Your son or daughter may also make you artwork without prompting, and this is a big sign they feel connected to you in a healthy way," Healy says.
6
They Share Their Passions
If your child is able to open up to you and share their interests with you, this is a sign that they are developing a secure attachment. "If your son loves robotics and STEM camp, then hang out with him, let him teach you about robots, have him show you the motherboard he just rewired. Said differently, let your child be the teacher and you the student. This creates a healthy bond so you rely on them for learning similar to how they rely on you for life necessities (food, clothing, housing, healthy affection)," Healy says.
7
The Still Want You At Bedtime
When a child is securely attached, they will be comforted by the presence of their primary caregiver and want that type of comfort when it's time to fall asleep. "Even as they start to become comfortable around less familiar people, toddlers and preschool-aged children still show a preference for their closest caregivers, particularly around intimate routines, such as bedtime. They might have fun playing with an aunt or uncle, but then ask that mommy or daddy put them to bed or read to them at nap time," says Dr. Mintz.
8
The Come To You When They're Hurt
Nobody can fix an ouchie or a boo boo quite like Mommy or Daddy, and a securely attached kiddo knows this to be true. "A securely attached child might look for a parent when they are upset or hurt and be soothed with their social support, even if other caregivers’ affection doesn’t quite cut it," Dr. Mintz tells Romper. "Children tend to develop a hierarchy, by which they will seek the love and support of the closest caregiver available in a given moment. For example, an aunt, uncle, grandparent, or nanny might be able to soothe a child in a given situation if there are no parents around; however, in the same situation, the same child might pass over the secondary caregiver and instead seek support from their primary caregiver."
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