Life

This Vulgar AF Wrapping Paper Is Going Viral Cuz It's Freaking Hilarious

by Lindsay E. Mack

For people like me, the holiday season is straight-up the worst time of year. Sure, I love getting together with family and eating way too much — that is a given. But I completely hate whole gift-giving thing. It is stressful, expensive, and so often wasteful. That's why this NSFW cursing wrapping paper is so deviously brilliant, because it appeals to Grinches the world over. Seriously companies: holiday haters are an underserved market. Get on board.

British company Firebox is selling abusive Christmas gift wrap ($12, Firebox) that lets the recipient know how you really feel about holiday gift-giving. It looks like normal red paper with gold lettering, but an F-bomb is stuck right between the words Merry and Christmas. I mean, it's holiday wrapping paper emblazoned with swear words. What's not to love? It's beautiful, and I kind of want to wrap my entire house in this stuff for the month of December. (We live near an elementary school, though, so that is probably not advisable.)

OK, so you might not wrap all of your presents in this paper. Even the Firebox company itself admits its products are "not for everyone," and this especially rings true when it comes to this hilarious wrapping paper. I would not give it to a sweet, devoutly religious great-aunt, for instance. But for those stupid secret Santa parties you were roped into against your will, it's perfection. Let your coworkers and friends know how you really feel about obligatory acts of gift-giving and celebration. The gift may feel like a waste of money, but this festive paper is worth every penny.

I mean, look, giving gifts is a nice gesture, and there is nothing wrong with it in theory. I love buying gifts for little kids, because they don't have a credit card yet and shopping for toys is a legit blast. When they get so excited opening presents, it's adorable — I'm not a total scrooge. But trying to guess what other financially independent grown-ass adults want, and then give them the perfect present? No, thanks. It's too much pressure and expense, and who needs more random stuff in their space? Not me, and probably not you either. Chances are, that carefully wrapped and chosen present will just be a in a corner gathering dust by January.

Plus, in some circles the holiday gift-giving presentation has gotten out of hand. I used to think Martha Stewart set unrealistic expectations for stuff like gift wrapping, but the internet has taken it to a whole new level. There is a subreddit devoted entirely to gift wrapping, for instance, and the completed gifts look too pretty to unwrap. Oh, and have you seen the elaborate gift-wrapping tutorials on YouTube or Pinterest? The finished presents look like works of art, like some origami master's creation. The gilded paper, silk ribbons, and live flowers are incredible. If you're a garbage crafter like me, though, it's just another expensive project that is doomed to fail. I'm not putting glittered pine cones on my presents. I'm just not. That is another reason to love the abusive Christmas gift wrap: it says you care about presentation, but not that much.

And sure, some people legitimately love the holidays. One of my friends starts holiday shopping in July, sings Christmas carols to herself throughout the year, and can't wait to put up multiple Christmas trees with different themed ornaments as soon as Halloween is over. The holidays make her so happy. Christmas is her jam, and I respect that. But for the rest of us, the holiday season brings a lot of unwanted stress.

As for my family, no one will receive presents wrapped in this sweary Christmas wrapping paper, delightful as it is. We eliminated the practice of giving gifts to other adults over ten years ago, and it's been the merriest tradition of all.

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