Kids are all unique and special beings... except all of them are
pretty damn messy. Being blissfully unaware of the chaos you leave in your wake is part of the joy of childhood, and part of the frustration of parenthood. If you’ve ever cleaned up after putting your kids to bed (who hasn’t?) only to find your house torn apart by 8 a.m. the next day (again, who hasn’t?) then these Instagram captions for pictures of your kids making a mess are for you.
Maybe it’s a
kids’ fort that somehow turns into all your carefully folded fitted sheets being tossed onto the floor, or Legos everywhere. Maybe your kid “can’t find” their shoe or worse, their Barbie’s shoe, and so somehow that means they need to pour out every toy bin in their quest to find it. Maybe your kid is the mess and you find them covered in marker (it’s always a Sharpie) or your makeup (it’s never the cracked drugstore bronzer from four years ago).
In those moments where you’re either gonna tear your hair out or scream at your kids, try snapping a picture instead. Pair it with one of these relatable Instagram captions that offer a nice counterpoint to all those sweet family pictures of clean children and spotless playrooms. Read on for fun Instagram captions that may make the mess a little more bearable, or at least a little more humorous.
1 Has anyone looked into the return policy on kids? Yuki Kondo/DigitalVision/Getty Images
Yes, you love your children. Yes, sometimes you wish they came with a receipt. Everyone knows you’d never trade your kid in for the world, so this caption captures the funny frustration that comes from your house looking like a bomb went off.
2 "Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing." — Phyllis Diller
Comedian Phyllis Diller totally nailed how fruitless it feels to clean up after kids. Plus, her first child was born in the ‘40s, proving kids have been messy... probably since the beginning of time.
3 I knew it was way too quiet in here.
As every parent knows, silence may be lovely for a minute, but it’s never a good sign. Run, don’t walk, to find your kids when you hear... nothing.
4 “Embrace the glorious mess that you are.” — Elizabeth Gilbert (and also my kids to the playroom). Yuki Kondo/DigitalVision/Getty Images Eat,Pray, Love author, Elizabeth Gilbert meant this in an inspirational way, but it can be a helpful reminder to embrace mess (easier said than done) when it feels totally out of your control. 5 “Cleanliness is very important. If you let kids make a total mess in the kitchen and then leave, you're not really teaching them anything.” — Emeril Lagasse
Emeril come over immediately, I need you. The chef has a point thought, it’s important to teach kids how to clean up, especially after making a mess in the kitchen (think more flour on the counter than in the cookie dough).
6 We are definitely a “shoes on” house, otherwise the LEGOs will destroy us.
It’s honestly amazing how such tiny pieces can create such an epic mess, and sorting them by color looks cool but lasts for about five minutes. It’s better to just wear shoes or slippers and let it happen.
7 When is bedtime? (Mine, not theirs.) by vesi_127/Moment/Getty Images
How is it that making messes isn’t tiring, but cleaning them is exhausting? This caption is for all the parents who had big plans for after the kids went to bed, only to fall asleep putting them to bed.
8 When a three-day weekend is about two and a half days too long.
Two things can be true at once: you love your kids,
and being with them for three straight days makes you realize that teachers deserve to be paid double. This caption works especially well on three-day weekends. 9 I never loved the rug in here anyway, so thank you to my kids for making sure I never have to see it.
You walk in to your kid’s room or the playroom to find toys or clothing covering literally every surface. For some reason this typically happens when kids are “looking for something.” Well, the good news is you don’t have to look at the floor?
10 Happy to report that my couch cushions now double as floor dusters.
Okay, no one can deny that forts are super fun for all ages. What’s not so fun is finding dust all over your new couch cushions when you pick them up off the floor.
11 So tell me again about the age where my kids start “helping.”
Among the well-meaning advice you’ll receive from parents and non-parents alike (sleep when the baby sleeps, anyone?) is that one day your kids will start helping. And yes, while they may set the table from time to time or put their dishes in the sink after threatening to take away screen time, they’re still totally capable of making a colossal mess.
12 Why does this have to be the way that kids look for things?
Some of the most unbelievable messes happen when kids are looking for a single shoe, a specific costume, or that one green LEGO piece they
know is somewhere. It’s ironic really that creating the most chaos imaginable is deemed the best way to find something tiny, but hey, sometimes it works. 13 Breathe in. Breathe out.
Trite as it may be, sometimes what you need is a gentle reminder to self to breathe through the chaos. A clean house is overrated anyway.
14 Can’t wait to enjoy two hours of a clean room before this happens again tomorrow.
Even if your kid “helps clean up” the mess they made, their idea of what constitutes clean is usually pretty different than yours. If you find yourself throwing toys into bins every night before you can relax, you’re definitely not alone.
15 I love my kids, I love my kids, I love my kids. Anna Kraynova / EyeEm/EyeEm/Getty Images
Sometimes you need to have this running through your head on repeat on the days you find cereal all over the kitchen floor, your new makeup on the walls, dog food in your kids’ mouth, and all the doll clothes dumped out. You do love your kids, but that doesn’t mean they can’t drive you bananas.
16 “Having children is like living in a frat house: nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up.” — Ray Romano
Leave it to comedian Ray Romano to perfectly sum it up. Sometimes the mess
is your child who just threw up or tried the new markets out on their body.
Dealing with big, huge messes is just part of parenting. But at least with the right Instagram caption, you can get an awesome social media post out of your kid’s latest disaster and laugh about it years later.