Love Chats

couple at restaurant drinking wine and asking relationship questions
halbergman/E+/Getty Images

100 Relationship Questions To Ask Your Partner

From friends and family to finances (even sex), you’ll know all the answers when you ask these Qs.

Updated: 
Originally Published: 

Even when you think you know absolutely everything about your partner, surprise, they’ll say something that shows there’s still so much more to discover about them. But if you’re looking to create deeper conversations with your partner, you might need some help curating those relationship questions to ask. When you want to find out everything from how many kids your partner really wants, to how much parental input they want when making their own financial decisions, (o even finding out if they’ve been arrested, you can ask any one of these 100 relationship questions. But be prepared: the answers might be a total eye-opener.

Whether you’ve been with your partner for, like, forever, or are fresh off of the first few dates, relationship questions are always good to ask. Each one on their own can spark a more in-depth discussion about touchy topics like politics, religion, finances, and all by asking a starter Q that kicks it all off. And even if you think you know your partner inside and out, remember, people’s opinions can change over time, so chances are, you don’t know every answer.

The best part: while you might think that you’re only learning about your partner by asking these relationship questions, you might understand more about an even more important relationship — and that’s the one with yourself.

Questions to ask your partner before trying for more kids

Why do you want more kids?

Do we have baby fever, or do we really want another child?

Are we emotionally and mentally ready to have another baby?

Where are we raising our kids?

What kind of childcare will we use?

Who will be our kid’s guardian if something happens to us?

If we find out that the baby has a disability, how will we handle it?

Can we afford another child?

Are we doing this just to give our child a sibling?

Do we have the time to have another child?

What would be the ideal age gap?

How will we discipline our kids?

How are we going to split parenting responsibilities?

Will we circumcise?

What will our support system be like?

How will we keep our lifestyle with another child?

Will one of us stop working, and for how long?

How will having another child affect our goals?

How are we going to take care of our relationship if we have another child?

What kind of delivery do we want?

Who will be the primary caregiver?

Is my body ready to have another baby?

How will we save or invest for their future or college education?

Where will baby sleep?

Are we ready?

What happens if I can’t get pregnant right away?

Questions to ask your partner about money

Are you a spender or a saver?

What is your credit score?

How much do you want to save for emergencies?

How much debt do you have?

Do you know how much money is in your bank accounts right now?

Have you ever declared bankruptcy?

Would you give our kids an allowance? If so, how much?

Which charities do you support and how much do you donate annually to them?

Do you prefer to buy things with cash or credit?

How do you spend your fun money?

Do you owe money to friends or family?

Did your parents discuss financial matters with you?

How much should we spend on vacations?

What kind of lifestyle do you want to have when you retire, and will you be able to afford it in the future?

What’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought?

Do your parents currently pay any of your bills?

What are your financial goals for the future?

Do you know how much things cost?

Do you want us to have joint or separate bank accounts?

How much money have you saved in total?

How are you planning for retirement?

How much can one of us spend without consulting the other?

How much money do you save every month?

Would you accept financial help from friends or relatives?

Do you have a rainy-day fund?

What expenses would you cut to live on less?

What do you spend most of your money from your paycheck on each month?

FG Trade/E+/Getty Images

Questions to ask before getting engaged/married

When conflicts arise, do you tend to talk it out or avoid it altogether?

Do you want kids? If so, how many?

Where is your ideal place to live?

How do you show your love and appreciation for someone?

How will we make decisions together?

Do you feel comfortable talking about sex and intimate issues?

Have you ever cheated on someone, or have you been cheated on?

How will we balance holidays and special occasions with our families?

How important is faith to you?

What are your thoughts on having debt?

Do you want to have a prenuptial agreement before we get married?

Do you want to continue working after we have kids, or do you want to take a break?

Are we good at apologizing or acknowledging our mistakes?

What are some of your financial goals?

How can we ensure that we have quality time together?

How important is alone time to you?

Did you ever live with your previous partners?

How would we split household chores?

Would you be open to going to couples counseling if we needed it?

What have your past experiences taught you?

When making an important decision, do you feel the need to consult with your parents or friends first?

How important is sex to you in a relationship?

Questions for new couples

What is your favorite season?

On average, how much do you sleep?

What’s the one thing that you’re really good at?

What’s a pet peeve of yours?

What are you passionate about?

Would you say that you’re a healthy person?

What’s one of your favorite childhood memories and why?

Are you a political person?

Do you like traveling?

Are you a good cook?

Do you have close friends of the opposite sex?

Is strong physical attraction a necessity for you to connect deeply with someone?

Is exercise a regular activity for you?

What are your healthy and unhealthy habits?

How would your closest friends describe you?

Which do you prefer, a dog or a cat?

Do you have a favorite charity?

Would you say that you’re law-abiding, or a rule breaker?

Do you consider yourself to be a religious person?

Do you like to eat out?

What’s your favorite holiday?

Should we share the same beliefs?

Were you raised in a family with traditional values?

What’s your favorite song?

What’s your idea of a great day?

Relationship questions are a great way to find out new things about each other in a fun, easy way. And somewhere along the way, you’ll find out if your answers align to make you a perfect pair.

This article was originally published on