St. Patrick's Day

Jimmy Fallon and Kermit the Frog bring all the funny St. Patrick's Day quotes.
35 Funny St. Patrick's Day Quotes To Spread The Luck & Festivities

Who doesn’t love Lucky Charms and green-colored food?

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March brings a lot of wonderful things, like the start of spring and the ability to wear shorts again, but it also brings us the day where everything magically turns green ― St. Patrick's Day. It’s the one day of the year where green beer isn’t considered some kind of “non-compliant with the FDA” travesty, but a fun celebratory drink. And wearing a full green outfit head to toe? Totally acceptable, it seems. Everyone dons their green, laughs at funny St. Patrick's Day quotes, and wakes up on March 18 with green-tinged memories (and maybe some Lucky Charms marshmallows stuck in their hair).

To the love of people across the globe, many people celebrate the holiday again and again, year after year. What is it about St. Patrick's Day? Is it because it’s a valid excuse to hang out with friends and deck yourself out in green, or is it because the holiday is so friendly and fun that everyone wants to take part in the joyous occasion?

Whether you're celebrating St. Patrick's Day just for kicks, or you’re following tradition in honor of the patron Saint of Ireland, these St. Patrick’s Day quotes are funny to share and post all day long. So pick up some green food coloring, look for a four-leaf clover, and enjoy your St. Paddy's day like it’s the best day of the year.


An Irish blessing

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“As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point in the wrong direction.” — Irish Proverb


A family-friendly wish

“May the luck of the Irish enfold you. May the blessings of Saint Patrick behold you.”


Erin go Bragh

“Be advised my passport’s green. No glass of ours was ever raised to toast the Queen.” ― Seamus Heaney


It’s all about the Irish

“Yeah, it’s St. Paddy’s Day. Everyone’s Irish tonight.” — The Boondock Saints


An Irish paradise

“That's right, there’s free beer in Irish paradise. Everyone’s jealous.” — Kevin Hearne


Welcome to the Emerald Isle

“You’re not in America now, you’re in Ireland. So have a drink and shut up.” — Leap Year


The envy of everyone

“There are only two kinds of people in the world, The Irish and those who wish they were.” — Irish saying


The dad joke

“Why should you never iron a four-leaf clover? You don’t want to press your luck.” — Daryl Stout


Consider the introverts

“Making [St. Patrick’s Day] a great day for the Irish, but just an OK day if you’re looking for a quiet tavern to talk, read, or have a white wine spritzer.” — Jon Stewart


Big spender

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“It is better to spend money like there’s no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there’s no money!” — St. Patrick’s Day toast


A festive blessing

“May your blessings outnumber the shamrocks that grow, and may trouble avoid you wherever you go.”


Origin story

“St. Patrick's Day is named for Saint Patrick, the first guy to feed Guinness to a snake.” ― Conan O'Brien


OK, Boomer

“We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English.” ― Winston Churchill



“Here’s to a long life and a merry one. A quick death and an easy one. A pretty girl and an honest one. A cold beer and another one!” ― St. Patrick’s Day toast


The unexpected crowd

“There’s a rabbi with a shillelagh, there’s a McCormack named Sean. There’s an Indian dude playing bagpipes, there’s a Chinese leprechaun. Nobody’s here from Ireland! Nobody’s here from Ireland, that’s for sure.” ― Jimmy Fallon


Happy holidays

“I come from an Irish Family. St. Patrick’s Day was our big holiday. The night before we’d hang up our stockings, and in the morning they’d be full of beer.” ― Sean Morey


Not your typical saint

“St. Patrick: one of the few saints whose feast day presents the opportunity to get determinedly whacked and make a fool of oneself all under the guise of acting Irish.” ― Charles M. Madigan


Pros & cons

“Pro: It’s an Irish tradition to kiss the Blarney Stone. Con: It’s an American tradition to buy a green plastic hat at CVS.” ― Jimmy Fallon


Snake eyes

“Who’s this Patrick anyway? The patron saint of liquor distributors? Here's the real truth, he didn’t get rid of snakes in Ireland. He just got rid of the ones he was seeing.” — Lewis Black


Color scheme

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“Let’s drink green beer! Let’s do green Jell-O shots! Where’s your St. Patrick’s Day spirit?"

“We’re drinking green tea.” ― How I Met Your Mother


Greetings from Scranton

“It’s St. Patrick’s Day. Here in Scranton, St. Paddy’s day is a big deal. It is the closest the Irish will ever have to Christmas.” ― The Office


Love language

“Now for most of us, this lusty and raucous celebration means one thing above all else: gathering with rowdy friends to convivially overindulge in that nectar of the gods, bicarbonate of soda.” — Ana Gasteyer and Rachel Dratch, Saturday Night Live


Like V-day, but better

“St. Patrick’s Day is like Valentine’s Day for people who love fun.” — Unknown



“It’s not easy being green.” — Kermit the Frog


Try your luck

“You gotta try your luck at least once a day, because you could be going around lucky all day and not even know it.” — Jimmy Dean


And even more dad jokes

“Bad puns on St. Patrick’s Day don’t just shame you, they Seamus all.” — Unknown


One to explain the spirit of the day

“Even when they have nothing, the Irish emit a kind of happiness, a joy.” — Fiona Shaw


Take it easy

“There is luck in leisure.” — Unknown


Wouldn’t it be nice?

“Imagine if we were all magical leprechauns, and every wish ever made on a four-leaf clover obliged us to help others obtain their wishes. Now imagine if people simply lived like this were true.” — Richelle E. Goodrich


On leaning in

“May everything turn green today, except your gills!” — Lester B. Dill


The legend of four-leaf clovers

“Legend says that each leaf of the clover has a meaning: the first is for hope, the second for faith, the third for love and, if you can find a 4-leaf clover, the fourth leaf represents luck.” — Jean LeGrand


A threatening saying about leprechauns

“Be sure to wear green on March seventeen, or else Irish leprechauns pinch your bones clean!” — Richelle E. Goodrich


Relevant when drinking green beer...

“May you have the hindsight to know where you’ve been, the foresight to know where you are going, and the insight to knowwhen you have gone too far.” — Unknown


A nod to your Irish heritage

“Being Irish is very much a part of who I am. I take it everywhere with me.” — Colin Farrell


And that’s that

“I’m respectfully devoting the day to eating Lucky Charms in my underwear.” — Unknown

Whether you spend your March 17 eating green eggs in the morning, corned beef and cabbage for dinner, or all of the above, hopefully you can share these funny St. Patrick’s Day quotes throughout your celebrations. Sláinte!

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